He Slept With 2,500 Women and Thinks It’s a Flex

There are many red flags women tend to ignore to keep a man in their life.

Sleeping with 250 women and flexing about it is a big red flag.

I’ve been binge-watching the 90 Days-Fiance TV shows (I know, you can judge me now). At this point, I’ve known the names of these people from each episode.

While I know some scenes might be exaggerated to boost views, it’s still crazy to think how many people met online and eventually left their home country to be with their partner.

As romantic as it seems from the outside, this type of relationship also has so many problems. I can attest to this because I’m in one.

However, this one couple in season 5, Shekinah and Sarper’s relationship is quite controversial. Mostly due to the high number of women that Sarper has slept with in the past.

He admitted he kept a diary about every encounter he had and in the final episode, he said that overall the number has reached 2,500 women.

2,500!

It’s a big number. Many people judged him for that fact and yes, it’s one of those uncomfortable information that I wish I didn’t know.

But that’s not what concerned me. I was more shaken at the fact that he was proud of it. He mentioned it several times about the number. It’s like he couldn’t stop talking about it.

“I’ve slept with so many women but you’re the one for me.”

“I’ve slept with xxx number of women but you’re the first girl that made me commit.”

“I’ve done so much sacrifice for you (by not sleeping around anymore) and it’s proof that I’ve changed.”

It was very uncomfortable to watch. I had to skip most of Sarper’s scene because I couldn’t stop but think, “Why do you need to keep repeating it over and over again?”

The double standards

Wanna hear what’s more interesting?

When people asked his girlfriend to tell the audience how many men she has slept with in the past, he kept saying “Don’t do it. Never do it”.

Umm, excuse me?

Apparently, he expected his partner to be OK with his body counts but when it comes to her, she shouldn’t have a high number.

How is this fair?

There are many double standards in a romantic relationship that favor men. While I do believe not all men are bad, I still find it heartbreaking how much compromised women make.

If you’re a woman and you sleep with many people, society will forever judge you. It doesn’t matter if at some point you stop sleeping around, people will still think you’re for the streets.

On the other hand, when men do exactly that, it’s considered somehow “normal”. “Oh that’s just how we work” is what I often heard. In fact, they’re proud of it. They see it as some sort of accomplishment.

This body count issue is just one of the many double standards that sadly happen. I grew up with women who didn’t have many options. Women who were forced to be OK when their husbands picked a second, third, and fourth wives.

It’s pretty common in the Muslim community to have more than one wife. But as a woman? You could never do the same.

Are you ignoring red flags?

Let’s be honest for a second here — we, women, aren’t that naive.

We know when there’s a red flag coming up. The problem occurs when we ignore it just because we don’t think we can find someone better than him.

First of all, yes, you can. Second, red flags are there to save you time and energy.

There were so many moments when I looked back at my past and thought to myself, “Why did I tolerate this guy or that guy so much?” It just doesn’t make sense.

One of my exes was a fu*kboy. He slept around so much that he lost count. Hearing from him that I was his first serious relationship made me believe that he changed forever.

But I knew something was off when he was still on dating Apps while we were already together. A few weeks after we broke up, he’s back to his old habit — sleeping with 1–2 women every single week.

Did it hurt me? Not much. I was more disappointed in myself that I ignored the red flag. It was strong and clear yet I still chose to sweep it under the rug.

But I get how hard it is to take red flags seriously though. Deep down you’re trying so hard to convince yourself that you can change him. You don’t even want to acknowledge the uncomfortable feelings inside you because you’re scared, if you do then you might lose him.

I wish many women knew how it’d never get better. Not because your love isn’t strong enough to change your whole relationship for the better, but it’s because some men don’t really change.

So it’s always up to you to either put up with it or leave him.

No relationship is perfect but…

It’s still your responsibility to pick the right person to be with.

I’m not saying to never date someone who has many body counts, that’s not the point at all. But I want you to be more honest with yourself.

Many women aren’t actually OK with it yet they still decide to stay because they aren’t confident in finding someone new.

And it’s not just the body count issues. My therapist once told me that tolerating bad behavior and ignoring red flags will only do you a disservice.

It might feel good at the moment but in the long run, it’ll catch up on you. The truth is, no one’s truly ready to leave a bad relationship. We all always have this feeling to still wish things were perfect so we don’t have to make the hard decision.

But again, as Charles Bukowski puts it:

“Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. it’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it. think about it. think about saving yourself.”

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