FICTION

He Chose Me Because I Chose Him

Excerpt from The novel The Love We Had. A reader’s feedback: “Very relatable dynamic… beautifully written. I love the title too.”

I’m not well.

I feel numb, I feel frost inside.

I can feel almost nothing.

I have long since passed the middle of my life. I have three kids.

For more than twenty years I have had a man that I thought I loved, and I long believed he was fond of me too.

He’s a man I thought would love me my whole life. I thought I would grow old with him.

He’s the man who chose me more than twenty years ago.

In the clear light of the reflection, I have been thinking: Because I chose him! — He chose me because I chose him!

He’s a man who has changed. Together with me, with all my mistakes and all my faults, we have been digging trenches between us. We have created an abyss between us, an abyss so dark, so dangerous that it hardly is to endure.

If I shall endure, I have to get it out.

I’ll get it out.

I have to write it out of me.

I’ll write me free from it, here in this fiction blog, this, my novel blog.

And then it gets there, this journal, and they get to read, those who want to read, those who can read my words, my stories about wine that turned into vinegar, about a love that was ours. Yes, they’ll read about bitterness and resignation, and about many other things that happened in this small industrial town that Lonely Planet some years ago named” the ugliest town in the world”.

Life is short.

Yes, we know, both my husband and I know it is.

I have always known it, and yet we have messed it up.

As it appears, we have let the chances go.

Øivind H. Solheim is a novel author and a nature photographer from Norway who loves writing fiction, poetry, essays, and articles helping others understand life, other humans, and themselves. He has published six novels, two non-fiction books, and a poetry book.21

Visit Øivind H. Solheim’s profile

Become a Medium member, read thousands of writers and support my writing.