Hay Fork
Jr spends the weekend home alone and…
Jr didn’t mean to do things that made his momma mad, they just kinda happened. And happen it had when Jr reversed the tractor and drove the hay fork through the wall of the house. Already, in his mind he could hear Mable screaming, Junior, what in tarnation have you done now? How many times have I told you not to be drivin’ the tractor so close to the house? But Mable hadn’t seen it yet.
Then there was what his daddy, Earnest, was going to say, Boy, have you lost your ever lovin’ mind? What goes on in that thick head of yours? Why I ought to… At that point Earnest would walk away to ponder just how he planned to punish Jr this time. But Earnest hadn’t seen it either… yet.
So Jr set about thinking on how he was going to fix the problem before they returned the next morning from their weekend get-a-way.
Having previously helped Earnest build and repair sheds, barns, fences, chicken coops, and the old silo before it fell down a few years ago, Jr had something of an idea as to how he would get it done before the next morning. Or so he thought.
Luckily the hay fork had plunged straight through the wall into his bedroom. The hole wasn’t so big he couldn’t cover it by just replacing a few boards. He figured he could hide the inside damage with one of his old Dixie Chicks posters, but the outside… Well the outside was going to require boards, nails, a hammer, and a saw.
Jr had correctly ascertained he first needed to drive the tractor forward and remove the hay fork from the wall, but what Jr didn’t realize was that when he turned the steering wheel to turn the tractor that long hay fork sticking out the back was going to swing in the opposite direction tearing out the entire corner of the house. After moving the tractor away from the house Jr walked back inside to reassess the extent of the damage. “Gonna need more than posters,” Jr muttered to himself as he stood there surveying the damage that now extended from floor to ceiling for several feet on both walls. “I better go get me some boards.”
It was then Jr decided to drive the tractor to the barn, remove the hay forks, and attach the carry all so that he could more easily carry the many boards he would need. He then loaded the carry all and headed back to the house the tractor loaded with lumber.
Upon arriving back at the house Jr lowered the carry all, and after putting the tractor in low gear, switched off the engine. It was then he discovered he had only one board left on the carry all, and a long row of boards leading all the way back to the barn. “Guess I should a tied them on,” he mumbled to himself. Half an hour later he had managed to get the last of the boards moved to the house.
Knowing he couldn’t simply nail good boards over broken boards, Jr correctly decided some demolition might be in order, so off to the shed he went to get a chainsaw. Upon his return he set the choke, gave the cord a couple of pulls, flipped the switch on, and fired up the saw with the next pull. Thinking things were looking up, Jr carried the running saw to the house, but before he could make his first cut the chainsaw stopped running. Looking into the tank he muttered, “Guess I should a put some gas in it.” Then off to the shed he went.
When Jr got to the shed he discovered he had left the lid off the gas can and all the gas had evaporated so not having anything else to drive, Jr loaded the gas can on the carry all being sure to tie it down, and started his 5 mile ride to the nearest gas station.
Upon arriving at the station Jr grabbed a little bottle of fuel mix, poured it in the can, and filled it with gas. One whole gallon then back to the tractor to make the 5 mile journey home, but about a mile down the road the tractor ran out of diesel fuel. Knowing he couldn’t put gasoline in the tractor he mumbled, “Guess I should a filled up the tractor too.”
Mable and Earnest stood smiling over Jr as he tossed and turned in his bed. “See there,” Earnest said in earnest, “I told you he wouldn’t tear the house down. Why you reckon he’s tossin’ and turnin’ like that, is he sick?”
“Naw,” Mable smiled, “He’s just havin’ a bad dream. I’ll wake him up real gentle like then fix us some breakfast.”
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