Summary

The text describes the enriching experience of growing up and living within a large, tightly-knit family that provides support and joy through all of life's moments.

Abstract

The author paints a vivid picture of the joys and comforts of being part of an expansive family network, detailing how this dynamic filled the gaps in their life. From childhood games inspired by Enid Blyton's 'Secret Seven' to forming a 'Secret Six' with cousins, the narrative illustrates a childhood where family was both playmate and confidante. The author emphasizes the strength of the family bond during both celebratory times, such as weddings and professional achievements, and challenging moments, like illnesses. The family's collective response to crises, like the author's mother's Hepatitis B diagnosis and a cousin's COVID-19 infection, showcases their unwavering support system. The family's diverse expertise, from doctors to engineers to artists, is likened to a living 'Google', providing a wealth of knowledge and assistance. Despite the geographical spread, the family maintains close connections through regular get-togethers and digital communication, ensuring that the next generation continues to share the same strong bond.

Opinions

The author views their large family as a source of unconditional support and companionship.
The family's ability to come together during difficult times is seen as remarkable and comforting.
Celebrations are more meaningful and enjoyable when shared with the entire family.
The author expresses a sense of pride in the family's collective knowledge and expertise, comparing it to the vast information available through Google.
The author believes that the family's bond transcends geographical distances and remains strong across generations.
The author feels blessed, grateful, and lucky to be part of such a supportive and loving family.

Having a Big Big Family. What Does That Mean?

It means getting all the gaps in your life, plugged.

“What’s the password?,” I asked my tiny sister waiting outside the door.

“I forgot.”, she crooned in a singsong voice from outside.

“Let her in! Poor thing”, pleaded my cousin brother.

“No! It’s fun”, replied the sadist me.

Finally I was overruled and my sister made her way into what we called as a ‘Secret Six’ meeting. A blatant inspiration from the ‘Secret Seven’ novel by Enid Blyton. It is what had inspired my paternal cousins to form a group that made us feel important and special. We mainly met behind closed doors to decide how we can have fun. Yeah, I know, stupid :)

And this was just one of the things we did as kids, because I have been blessed to be a part of a massive family where my Mom and Dad both have multiple siblings. Actually, multiple superbly bonded siblings.

It was no wonder that we kids were more than just first cousins, we were friends who hung out together far more often. That way, we never really felt the need for friends. We always had each other. It was no wonder then, that we bundled up together at every given chance, being in the same city.

While our parents sat in the hall, discussing more serious issues, we were holed up in another room left to play games. Sometimes if we were too noisy, we were thrown out of the house and ‘asked to play outside’.

Occasionally if we would hear fights in the hall, we would trot out to listen to who was winning the argument. At other times, we had our demands. Like we wanted to stay back for the night together. Or we wanted to go to the beach. And we — the secret six often provided a united front to get our demands agreed upon, by our parents.

If one parent disagreed, the other stepped in to take our side. It was always fun to see them fussing over us. But in the end we always ended up together.

No one went through crises or pain alone. The family would be with them throughout. If anyone is ill, is alone or worried, the family swings into action as if on auto mode.

I remember I was in 9th grade and my sister was just 8 years old when my mother was detected with the dreaded Hepatitis B. It was scary. But for the fact that we did not get to absorb the seriousness of the situation. The moment the disease got detected, my aunts took charge at our home. And my mother was sent to her sister’s place in another city for focused care.

We spent a month without our Mom, but it never really halted our regular life because family had stepped in, and made it seem so easy.

It turned out my Mom recovered in record time from the deadly disease and was back in action before we could know it.

My own sister got married recently. And with Dad being unwell, it was left to Mom, sister and me to make the arrangements. Here again, family stepped in to plug whatever gaps one could imagine.

My uncles were the planners and negotiators who closed all the best facilities within the budgets and even dished out cash if my sister and I dint have the time to pay. My aunts pitched in with shopping, gifts, arrangements and more. My cousins became the logistics partners who guided every guest in the wedding venue and made them feel at home.

In fact the celebrations went off in an unimaginable way because not only did we not hire an event agency, but the family added a personal touch, warmth and love that no one could’ve ever given us.

No wonder then, quite a few friends of mine who came to the wedding told me, “Your family is one of it’s kind. We have never seen a family like this in our lives.”

My family is Google. You could get whatever information you wanted. We have doctors who mostly ensure we remain okay and happy, we have engineers of all kinds, we have architects, we have consultants, we have marketeers, we have singers, dancers, chefs.. the list is endless. And so is the wealth of knowledge, whenever we meet.

Any home renovation, purchase of a new car, any success educational or professional had to be celebrated with a dinner, cake and some friendly advice.

With my maternal cousins, it is customary that every 2 years we plan a massive get together called Gennext. Where all of us cousins take off to a destination of a different kind to bond, unwind and indulge in some fun and games. And the responsibility of planning and executing was on rotation, one family at a time.

Well, even COVID has not stopped my crazy huge family on both sides from doing their family thing.

A cousin of mine was detected with COVID. And the family swung into action. My sister quickly ordered essentials to their home. My uncle arranged for home delivery of food. My cousins and uncles did a daily conference call with the affected family to reassure them of their health and check their well being. Everything was taken care of, remotely so.

And I thought COVID was going to make us feel helpless. Well the family ensured, it din’t.

Of course we have our Whats App groups where we keep in touch. But we also indulge in video calls once in a while to make sure we know everyone is doing well. Our parents have aged, but they have held on to the same strong bond between them.

The kids who are now second cousins, perhaps don’t even realise they are second cousins. They are growing so fond of each other and it’s so unbelievable to see that geography has not affected this bond.

As for us cousins? (both maternal and paternal) We are akin to real brothers and sisters. The question we got asked most often at work when we said, “Brother’s wedding. I need leave”, or “Sister’s had a kid. I need to go visit”, was “How many brothers and sisters do you have???”. And almost all of us have faced this question. We smile. We say, “Many”.

Image owned by author — my maternal cousins

It is not quantifiable, the peace of mind family brings to you. And while you may or may not have a large family, that is okay. It is the bonds you create, that matter.

Crises are easier to resolve, achievements are easier to celebrate, memories are easier to create with a family like that :) Blessed. Grateful. Lucky.