The Weirdest Things You Have Ever Seen in a Church

10 Strange things found in a church, from Darth Vader to Madonna’s breastmilk.

Have you ever been so bored at the Sunday sermon that you fell asleep? Or catch yourself searching the walls or columns for figures in the stone?

I don’t know about you, but I have. Now, after I read an article with some curious things found in churches, I spend my sermon’s time browsing for oddities.

Here are some of the weirdest things found in churches. How many do you know?

1. The man making self fellatio.

Can you imagine finding a man doing fellatio on himself while you visit a church? Well, this is not exactly a church but the walls of Cologne City Hall, hidden under a larger statue of Konrad von Hochstaden.

The statue dates around 1410, and nobody knows who the author is. Still, the carving is below archbishop Konrad Von Hochstaden, which makes it even more strange since he is a religious figure. Konrad was generally victorious and often treacherous, leaving many dark spots on his reputation.

People say this sculpture was created to protest against authority, with sexuality shown crudely. It isn’t easy to see, but if you stand below and use some binoculars or your camera’s zoom, you’ll get a clear picture of this curious statue.

2. Darth Vader and Alien Xenomorph gargoyles.

If you’re a Star Wars fan, you will love this! Next time you visit Chicago or if you live there, go to the Washington National Cathedral in D.C., where there is a Darth Vader “gargoyle.” Maybe next May 4th, you can organize a picnic there and toast, saying, “May the force be with you.”

Another curious movie reference you can find is located at the Paisley Abbey in Scotland, where there is a unique Alien-like gargoyle. Constructed in the 13th century, the building had some restorations in 1991, in which some of the gargoyles underwent some maintenance. It’s not sure if it was like this since William Wallace’s times or some stonemasons had a little fun. Whatever the case, the Abbey now has this unique gargoyle.

Other strange gargoyles are:

3. A box filled with fingernails and hair clippings.

Saint Clare (1194–1253) lived in Assisi, a town and comune of Italy in Perugia, at the same time as St.Francis of Assisi. Claire had long and beautiful hair, but she wanted to get rid of her vanity as a person devoted to God. She cut her hair and fingernails, and an unknown follower collected both and saved them in a crystal reliquary and a flask, which now are at the Church of St. Clare’s.

4. Catacombs in the United States.

When you hear “catacombs,” you’ll think of places like Paris, Capuchins in Sicily, Salzburg, or Rome, but did you know there are several catacombs in the United States?

You can find them in:

Beneath the buzzing cafés of City Market in Indianapolis, stretching for 22,000 square feet (2,044sq m).
Under Manhattan’s Basilica of St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral, built in 1809, people were buried in a small catacombs system.
Also in Brooklyn, in Green-Wood Cemetery. Where you can take a tour and sometimes bring a cocktail.
On Manhattan Island, at the Church of the Most Holy Redeemer, where in 1892, a wealthy Italian lady donated various relics and saints’ bones.

5. The liquefying blood of St. Gennaro (St. Januarius).

In the city of Naples in Italy, at the Naples Cathedral, there is an ampule that allegedly contains two flasks with St. Januarius’ blood. The dried blood liquifies three times a year; on September 19th (St. Januarius’s Day), December 16th (Naples archdiocese’s day), and the memorial day of his relic reunification.

Nevertheless, this phenomenon hasn’t occurred on numerous occasions, which devotes people consider it is a bad omen. Some of these times were:

September 1939, a few weeks after the beginning of World War II.
September 1940, when the war hit Italy.
September 1943, the date of the Nazi Occupation.
September 1973, before the outbreak of a cholera epidemic in Naples.
September 1980, one month before the terrible earthquake in Irpinia, near Naples, killing nearly 3,000 people.”

Also, if you are wondering, the blood did not liquify in December 2019 and December 2020.

6. Jesus Holy Foreskin.

“The Holy Prepuce” is a relic of the supposed foreskin removed during Jesus’s circumcision. Yes, Jesus had a Brit milah! Remember, he was a Jew, though no one knows who the mohel was (the man who performed the ritual).

Eighteen churches in Europe claim they have the original one, but since there is no way to prove it by DNA, it is anyone’s guess. The oldest comes from 800 when Charles the Great gifted it to Pope Leo III. Others are in France and Italy. One recently went “missing,” some people argue the priest sold it to a relic dealer in Turin. Others claim it was stolen by Satanists to use occult rites or by Neo-Nazis. Still, the rumors get crazier each time.

7. A dressed skeleton with a golden crown.

In the Church of St. Anthony of Padua in Warsaw, you can find the preserved skeleton of St.Boniface of Tarsus, an organizer, educator, and reformer, Who influenced the course of intellectual, political, and ecclesiastical history in Germany and France. The remains are dressed in a red and gold robe and a crown on his head. Well, the skull, to be exact, represents his martyrdom.

Here you can also find a statue of Anthony of Padua (1195–1231), a Franciscan friar, theologian, and preacher called the “Doctor of the Church.” But you might know him as the patron saint of lost things. People pray to St. Anthony to find something they lost. In many Latin cultures, single women place his image upside down and pray to find love.

8. Madonnas Breast Milk.

If you’re thinking of Madonna, the material girl’s breast milk, you should be ashamed. I’m talking about Jesus’s Mother Mary’s breast milk. The Madonna Lactans (The Breastfeeding Madonna) worshiped in the Chapel of the Milk Grotto in Bethlehem, in the Palestinian Territories.

The tradition tells that Virgin Mary’s milk dropped on the floor while breastfeeding Baby Jesus, changing its color to white. Couples struggling to conceive a child buy a powder made from the grotto’s stone and drink it as a “cure” for infertility.

9. It Seems St. John the Baptist also had three heads as Harry Potter’s Fluffy.

The only explanation why three churches claim they have the original head of St. John the Baptist is that he, as Fluffy had three heads. The other is that at least two of them are fake.

St.John the Baptist is a significant religious figure in Christianity who preached God’s word before Jesus and baptized him in the River Jordan. He was beheaded by Herod Antipas at the request of his stepdaughter, as a punishment for criticizing Herod’s divorce, and after marrying Salome’s mother, Herodias.

The first head lies in the Gothic cathedral in Amiens, a city in northern France, specially built to house the relics brought back from Constantinople in 1206 by crusader Wallon de Sarton.

The second alleged head is in the Basilica of Saint Sylvester the First in Rome. The story tells the remains came to Rome by Greek monks later inherited by nuns from the local monastery. You can see St. John’s head on a silver platter in a shrine behind a window with stained glass.

And the third one is located at the German museum in Munich or Munich Residenz museum, where you can find St. John’s head and other relics donated by a Bavarian royal family. The skull relic is wrapped in a cloth decorated with gems.

But wait! There is another one found in Damascus, Syria. At the Umayyad Mosque. One of the largest and oldest mosques in the world. St. John’s relic is located inside a shrine dedicated to the Saint, and just like in Munich, the head is not exposed.

10. The statue of a flayed saint wearing his skin as a cloth.

At the Milan Cathedral, one can find an odd statue of a person showing his bare muscles after being flayed, also known as skinning, which is a method of slowly and painfully removing the skin to execute a person.

This statue represents Saint Bartholomew, one of Jesus’s apostles flayed alive. The artist Marco d’Agrate wanted to express the way he died. What you see is the representation of the apostle’s body completely without skin in a sad expression and wearing his skin like a robe.

Conclusion

One never knows what to find in old churches and medieval buildings, but it is always a good idea to look somewhere else besides your guide’s explanation.

The next time you are bored at church listening to the priest’s Sunday sermon, you can look around and maybe find something interesting, odd, or funny.

But no matter, if you don’t find anything, at least the time will pass faster.