Have You Lost Your Joy?

5 tips to find joy in simple things again

So often our own physical and emotional needs place way down our priority list. Everything else comes first.

That work project.

The needs of family and friends.

Your children.

Your partner.

So where do you fit in? How do you take back control of your life, put yourself at the TOP of that priority list and find your joy in the simple things?

Now, I know many people (especially mums) will be feeling guilty about making themself a priority. It doesn’t make sense why we feel this way. But we do.

Something I am trying hard to live by now is:

You cannot pour from an empty cup.

I know I will be better able to care for my children and those around me if I take care of myself. If I prioritise my emotional and mental health, as well as my physical health I will be happier and more relaxed.

As a nurse and a parent, this can be hard. But not impossible. It is something I am working on every single day.

So here is how I am taking back control, how I am seeking out the joy in the small moments and putting my health first.

1. Start the day with a walk or some alone time.

I start the day with a walk before my children wake up. This time is just for me (and my dog who loves to keep me company). I make sure that I have my workout clothes laid out the night before, my runners by the door and Ella’s (my dog) leash ready to go. As soon as my alarm goes off in the morning, I roll out of bed, throw my clothes on and head out the door.

It isn’t always easy. Some mornings I really do not want to walk out that door. It is cold and dark. I am tired. I have so much work to do that taking this time for myself almost takes a back burner. But I know that it will make me feel better. I will be more productive. And most importantly, I know that by heading out that door I have started the day putting my health first!

2. Accept what you cannot change.

Sometimes, no matter what you do, there will be things that you cannot change. This used to stress me out so much. I would feel frustrated and useless.

So I started repeating to myself:

“You cannot change it. Breathe it in, now breath it out and let it go.”

It took a lot of practice and time. But now I am finally beginning to accept those things that I have no control over, then I roll with it and just let it go.

I cannot control it, but what I can control is my attitude and the way I deal with it.

3. Be present in the moment.

This is a HUGE one for me. I am generally thinking of a thousand other things that I need to be doing. The laundry, the folding, making lunches or planning the next day. Wondering if the bills have been paid or if there is petrol in the cars. Oh my goodness the list is endless.

I. THINK. OF. ALL. THE. THINGS. It is very overwhelming.

This mental load stopped me from being present, from enjoying the here and now.

Once I started delegating and sharing the load with my husband, it took some of this burden off me. I was able to relax….a little anyway. It is still something I struggle with on a daily basis.

I am working hard at being present in the moment, at focusing on family time or those precious quiet periods. Simply breathing and not thinking about anything except immersing myself in the moment.

The folding and cleaning and bills will always be there. But those peaceful minutes, those precious moments with your children? They won’t be.

4. Shared mealtime.

We are always busy. Between work and writing and appointments, swimming lessons, birthday parties and family get-togethers. It feels like we never have a spare minute. Throw in nursing shifts and it was like we never eat together as a family.

So now I ensure that when we are home together, we eat together. We all sit around the table for breakfast, or lunch or dinner. There are no phones or TV or any other distractions. Simple family time enjoying a meal together.

This has helped strengthen our family connection and helped me rediscover the joy of those family moments.

5. Our favourite things.

We started this way back at the start of the pandemic when we all struggled to find joy in our days.

When we sit around the dinner table together we take it in turns to tell everyone our 3 favourite things from the day.

It is such an easy and quick thing to do, but it forces your mind to focus on the positives of the day, rather than the negatives. Simple, yet very powerful. It really does help to change your mindset.

I know the two last tips are not just about me, or you. They are about family time. But for me, my family is everything. They are what holds me together and keeps me moving forward. They spark my joy, even on those days where I barely feel a flicker of joy.

These tips have helped me find that spark again. To enjoy every moment and even embrace the negative. I feel better. I feel stronger. And I know I am a better parent, partner, daughter and sister for looking after myself.

You cannot pour from an empty cup, so how do you fill yours?

Rachel Maree is a writer, mum and registered nurse. Bringing you the real truth to parenting, nursing and writing (even when it is downright ugly). You can read more articles or hire her to write amazing content for you — Rachel Maree.

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