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Abstract

e blurry images below. I didn’t have a good camera or enough money at the time to afford good photos. Didn’t realize the value of them. As I didn’t realize the true value of myself.</p><figure id="c97f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*xxdf0Qz5O734Mf-IH0NkoQ.jpeg"><figcaption>Changing 6x8 inches August 1989. artwork & photo Barbara Carter</figcaption></figure><figure id="2723"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*XuWDEi95Ye7IF1Ola2V0Mg.jpeg"><figcaption>Mini #31 Transformed 6x8 inches August 1989</figcaption></figure><p id="44a9">The red surrounding me represents the drastic change from the lack of colour in my life. From the black, white and grey world I existed in.</p><p id="8110">Red, the colour of blood surrounds me to bring me back to life. To who I was before trauma forced a protective exterior to help me to survive. To keep a part of me safe and hidden until I could reemerge.</p><p id="f75a">I hid from the fear no one would understand me. I feared more rejection.</p><p id="731b">Fear kept me imprisoned. Bound and trapped and unable to be my true self. Spending too much time worrying about who I thought I was supposed to be. Always trying to fit in. Belong where I didn’t belong.</p><p id="74bd">I want to take off all those outer layers. The layers others put on me.</p><p id="6d35">Like a snake, able to shed that old skin. I’m going to slip it off like an old dress.</p><p id="f2ee">Free my soul and spirit. Remove my mask. Dance in the light. No longer fear

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the darkness or deny my past, but to learn from it. Learn from the lessons it can teach me.</p><p id="3d49">Without the outer disguise/ that outer layer of hair, clothes, and all that makes me fit into a certain time and place. Beneath all that camouflage is the real me, as it is the real you, waiting to be released. Born to float free and move freely. Unafraid. Unburdened. Transformed.</p><p id="8fdf">Be reborn.</p><p id="7916"><a href="https://readmedium.com/75e2525b4a81">Barbara Carter</a> Artist and writer with a focus on healing from childhood trauma, alcohol addiction, and living her best authentic life.</p><p id="026e">Likes to take walks, read, watch TV dramas, and practice Qi-gong, and work on her memoir series <a href="https://www.amazon.com/stores/Barbara-Carter/author/B00N14CA2I?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true">BARBARA By The BAY.</a></p><div id="3aad" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-i-started-to-believe-in-myself-again-99dc21217b1a"> <div> <div> <h2>How I Started to Believe in Myself Again</h2> <div><h3>And my dream of becoming an artist could come true.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*mlUxz6uY0Y-UFK7bYMWYWQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

ART | SELF-AWARENESS | SYMBOLISM

Have You Ever Wanted to Shed the Old You?

Free to be who you really are

drawings for two fabric 6x8 inch artworks. art & photo Barbara Carter

I realized I was on a journey. Change was happening. I was waking up to a new way of being.

Realizing that in order to grow I had to shed my old skin.

It was a natural process of growth. Like the metamorphosis of the butterfly. Like the snake shedding its skin.

I needed to leave the cocoon of my previous artwork. The bound figure, hiding who I was. Away to emerge into the world.

fabric art from the previous year. art & photo by author

I needed to shed that old skin and welcome a new energy into my life. Light up the darkness.

I was growing. Meeting new people. Learning new things. Changing from my shy insecure self. Breaking free. Releasing the hold the past trauma has on me.

Coming back to soul. Who I am at my core. True essence.

My inner voice guiding me through images and symbolism.

I regret I have no good photos of the finished pieces, only the blurry images below. I didn’t have a good camera or enough money at the time to afford good photos. Didn’t realize the value of them. As I didn’t realize the true value of myself.

Changing 6x8 inches August 1989. artwork & photo Barbara Carter

Mini #31 Transformed 6x8 inches August 1989

The red surrounding me represents the drastic change from the lack of colour in my life. From the black, white and grey world I existed in.

Red, the colour of blood surrounds me to bring me back to life. To who I was before trauma forced a protective exterior to help me to survive. To keep a part of me safe and hidden until I could reemerge.

I hid from the fear no one would understand me. I feared more rejection.

Fear kept me imprisoned. Bound and trapped and unable to be my true self. Spending too much time worrying about who I thought I was supposed to be. Always trying to fit in. Belong where I didn’t belong.

I want to take off all those outer layers. The layers others put on me.

Like a snake, able to shed that old skin. I’m going to slip it off like an old dress.

Free my soul and spirit. Remove my mask. Dance in the light. No longer fear the darkness or deny my past, but to learn from it. Learn from the lessons it can teach me.

Without the outer disguise/ that outer layer of hair, clothes, and all that makes me fit into a certain time and place. Beneath all that camouflage is the real me, as it is the real you, waiting to be released. Born to float free and move freely. Unafraid. Unburdened. Transformed.

Be reborn.

Barbara Carter Artist and writer with a focus on healing from childhood trauma, alcohol addiction, and living her best authentic life.

Likes to take walks, read, watch TV dramas, and practice Qi-gong, and work on her memoir series BARBARA By The BAY.

How I Started to Believe in Myself Again

And my dream of becoming an artist could come true.

medium.com