Have you ever stared at a tree?

Summary

The author reflects on their journey from a life of constant striving to a state of appreciation for the beauty and interconnectedness of nature, following the profound loss of loved ones.

Abstract

The author shares a personal transformation that emerged from the pain of losing close relatives. Initially driven by the need for validation and success, they experienced a profound shift after the loss, which led to a deeper appreciation for the natural world. This newfound perspective allowed them to perceive the individual colors of a tree, hear the symphony of nature, and understand the calming presence of the environment. The author emphasizes the healing power of nature, supported by research on its benefits for stress reduction, mood improvement, and immune system boost. They conclude that self-acceptance and the recognition of one's inherent worth are crucial, advocating for a detached observation of life's experiences without judgment.

Opinions

The author believes in a deep, cellular connection with lost loved ones, transcending physical existence.
They assert that personal worth is not contingent on external validation or achievements.
The author values the experience of life over the pursuit of right or wrong actions, emphasizing the importance of intentions and personal growth.
They suggest that true kindness stems from a place of non-judgment and understanding of individual journeys.
The author acknowledges that while it is possible to detach from the material world's drama, there will be moments when one is more deeply immersed in it.

Have you ever stared at a tree?

It has taken me so many years to get here, but now that I have, it is amazing to see how many colours exist on a tree.

Till I hit a certain milestone, and lost some of my loved ones, I never really paused long enough to appreciate anything. I was too busy running ahead, focused on winning, proving to everyone (or was it to myself) that I was worthy.

Then one day, I suddenly lost two my most beloved relatives who unconditionally loved me, no matter what. I wandered around mindlessly for months, trying to make sense of it all — the truth that I can no longer travel to where they are — nor can I pick up the phone to call or write a letter expecting a response.

As I was walking down the road one day, I felt it. All my life I had read about people experiencing this — and holy books speaking of the knowing versus believing. And it happened — I knew deep in my bones that they were there — in the cells around me. And that every single atom in the universe is connected. I will never be able to replicate that sensation again I think in this life time. But I will also never scoff at people who talk about this ‘knowing’ !

When the fog of grief lifted, I was able to be still and listen and see properly — and I could suddenly see that the trees are made of beautiful individual colours, the birds, and insects, and the dew drops all made for a symphony.

The awe-inspiring sight of nature just leaves me speechless now — from the majestic mountains to the gentle streams, its diversity, the endless variety of landscapes, each with its own unique features and characteristics soothes the soul in ways that is impossible to describe.

Listening to the gentle sound of a babbling brook, the rush of the waterfall, the rustling of leaves in the wind, the swaying of the branches of the trees, watching the birds flying in a flock across the sky, the soothing hum of crickets and fireflies, now all provide a sense of calm and relaxation that reminds me that when all the artefacts that humanity has built is gone, nature will still be there, that many of the natural sights around me were there for centuries in some form or the other….

Sitting in complete peace, listening to the sounds and watching the sights in peace is soothing to the heart, and in a strange way seems to fill my life with a sense of completeness.

Of course, there is now well known research studies that have proven evidence that spending time in nature can lower our stress levels, improve our mood, and even boost our immune system.

A few years ago, would I have been able to appreciate any of this? Not really — I simply was not ready.

I needed to stop running ahead, to breathe, to stop proving anything to anyone — I needed to realise I was already worthy of love and acceptance — as I was the one who need to be accept me and value me, and that whatever actions I took were all fine — that the actions itself did not matter by themselves. The actions were relevant in context of my own learning, and journey and intentions is what mattered. It took me time to understand that and realise that I could operate on two layers (and perhaps more) — one layer on the physical plane wherein I could do the best I could in my actions and thoughts and another where I could observe and enjoy the experience as a detached observer.

That there really aren’t any right or wrong answers — and it was all absolutely alright to get it ‘wrong’ or ‘right’… as the objective was to have the experience. That even when everyone considered someone wildly ‘successful’ it was their own perception of reality that made them happy or not and whether they went home feeling fulfilled or not. And that being kind was really about being detached in a good way and effortless because it was not so much about making an effort to be kind as much as to understand that everyone was truly on their own journey and thus not judging anyone at all. And that feeling this way is also a journey and there will days when the physical / material world and its drama will suck us in and other days when we will have the ability to detach from the drama just enough to be in it and yet out of it.