Summary

The author discovers an unconventional, yet simple and effective form of meditation by observing a man's nightly ritual of sitting outside with coffee and a cigarette, finding peace away from his family home, and applies this approach to their own life.

Abstract

The author shares a personal journey of learning to meditate, initially struggling with traditional methods that seemed contradictory and complex. Observing a neighbor in Granada, Spain, who would sit outside each night with a cup of coffee and a cigarette, the author realizes that this man's ritual is his unique way of meditating. This revelation leads the author to adopt a similar practice, finding tranquility by sitting in a rocking chair with red wine, surrounded by nature. The article suggests that such personalized meditation techniques, which align with the individual's comfort and environment, can be more beneficial than following prescribed methods.

Opinions

The author finds traditional meditation guides perplexing and contradictory, particularly the instruction to not think while focusing on breathing.
The act of trying not to think may paradoxically increase mental activity and focus on thoughts.
The neighbor's nightly ritual is seen as a form of first aid for mental health, providing silence, warmth, fluids, and a way to soothe nerves.
The author believes that taking a break or practicing meditation in a personalized way is crucial for overall well-being, regardless of the method.
The author values the neighbor's practice as a smart way to maintain a happy marriage and provide a positive childhood for his children.
Experts in various fields, such as parenting, dog training, and psychology, are cited in agreement that personalized breaks or meditation are essential.

Have A Mental Break: The Easy Way To Meditate

The new way of meditating…

Like many others, I attempted to learn how to meditate. I immersed myself in self-help books and followed yoga gurus, even tried out guided meditation apps with mantras like “inhale through your nostrils, exhale through your mouth, focus on breathing through your stomach.”

But then came the challenge: counting to ten while simultaneously breathing and not thinking was nearly impossible.

The instructions were contradictory- let your thoughts pass by, but don’t think at the same time.

How does one simply do that?

In my opinion, these meditation guides are incredibly perplexing. Every time someone instructs me not to think, my mind becomes even more active and focused on my thoughts.

But one day it happened and I discovered the secret of meditation.

And it is easier than you think.

Here is the short story.

A few years ago before I moved my life off the grid, I lived in Granada, Spain. While living in the apartment, I noticed a man doing an interesting daily ritual.

Each night, the gate would open and the man would come out.

He appeared to be in his fifties, with a drop of preserved youth, or possibly a man worn down by life in his forties.

He always carried a cup full of rich Italian cappuccino.

He paid no mind to the traffic as he shuffled across the road in his flip-flops.

Cars screeched to a halt and honked at him, but that was their problem.

He set the cup of coffee down on a nearby bench by our home, lit a cigarette, and leaned his elbows on the armrest.

His gaze fell upon the lit windows of the house opposite, where his family stayed.

My neighbor would frequently inquire about the “daily-break” man. She told me that he had a family of his own, with a wife and two daughters living next door.

They seemed like a happy and normal family, she said, but it still didn’t sit well with her.

She couldn’t shake the feeling that there must be something driving this man away from his own home, every night.

The man sitting at the bench seemed out of place because all the apartments in his building had balconies.

He could sit on his balcony.

Even in the winter, he had flip-flops without socks sitting on the bench, which was weird.

Perhaps the guy needed distance and silence.

That’s why he ritually put on sweatpants and a bathrobe every night, poured coffee, and went to drink it on the opposite side of the street.

He never talked to anyone, he didn’t interfere in anything, he was there for himself, in his world: with his only coffee, cigarette, and own thoughts.

He looked calm and content, like a man who found his way of meditating.

His way of meditating looked like applying first aid principles for people in shock: silence, warmth, fluids, transport, and pain relief.

As a nurse, I am familiar with the basics of shock first aid.

He did exactly that:

poured the liquid,
dressed in a warm bathrobe,
transported himself out of the house
meditatively soothed his nerves with nicotine in silence.

It is so simple and yet so effective.

I thought about how many problems and interpersonal conflicts, divorces, separations, and injuries to the soul we could prevent if we all did that.

I told my neighbor that he was a smart man who knew how to unwind, meditate, or calm his nerves to keep a happy marriage and a nice childhood for his children.

No matter how much time passed, I couldn’t shake the memory of that man.

That’s why, when I moved into my yurt in the woods, I developed a routine to soothe my nerves, too.

I would sit in my rocking chair with a glass of red wine, watching the birds flutter while listening to the gentle hum of leaves and whispers of branches in the wind.

And guess what, I completely forgot about my thoughts and taking deep breaths.

It worked.

And I was in silence and harmony with the surrounding nature.

Even experts in parenting, dog training, and psychology agree that taking a break or practicing meditation is crucial for overall well-being. The labeling doesn’t matter as much as the practice itself.

But you need to find your way of doing it.