How to Master Stressful Situations: The First Rule of Holes

The important life lessons we can learn from Harry Potter.

Yesterday I happened to stumble upon a rerun of the first Harry Potter movie on free TV. My flatmate was watching it and while I just wanted to ask him a quick question, I am also a huge fan of Harry Potter, so naturally, the movie drew me in for a while.

One of the scenes we watched caught my particular interest. For all the non-Potterheads out there (go and read the books, seriously!) and for all the ones who need a refresher since it has been a while, I’ll explain. (You can also watch the scene on YouTube.)

It’s Halloween and all of the students are gathered in the Great Hall for a dinner underneath levitating pumpkins, feasting on pies, plum puddings, sweets and all other sorts of delicious, mouth-watering goodies.

All of a sudden, the doors burst open and Professor Quirrel runs in, screaming bloody murder about a troll in the castle. The professor is an absolute mess, his turban partly unwrapped and his arms flailing, stammering a weak and almost incomprehensible “thought you outta know” before passing out.

Phew, what a way to make an entrance.

As you can imagine, the students go absolutely apeshit. They start screaming and crying, tumbling over each other, terrified by the thought of a massive troll rampaging through the castle and on its way to bash their heads in with a giant club.

Enter Albus Dumbledore. The most powerful wizard in the world. He takes a deep breath and with a sonorous voice shouts out “SIIIIILENCE!”

Everybody obeys. You could have heard a pinfall. Dumbledore then proceeds to calmly give instruction to the students, the prefects and the teachers. The students gather calmly and are led to their dormitories by the prefects while the teachers set out on their quest to slay the troll.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

The First Rule of Holes

While the Harry Potter books and movies are great in general, this scene makes for a particularly interesting observation and life lesson. It is a perfect demonstration of what is called the first rule of holes.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

It’s what bestseller author Ryan Holiday calls “the most violated piece of commonsense wisdom in the world”. And he is absolutely right.

Because what do we do when we find ourselves in a tough, stressful situation? We get angry. We panic. We stress out even more. We flail around and scream bloody murder, not unlike our Professor Quirrel.

And what does that accomplish? Nothing. Quite the contrary actually, it makes things worse. It takes our focus and energy away from looking for a plan or solution.

Not only that, but it also spreads panic and stress among people around us. The students absolutely lose it when Quirrel panics but easily simmer down once they can see and hear how calm and collected Dumbledore is. Have you ever been in the same room as someone who was clearly anxious and stressed out and all you could think was “Calm down you son of a bitch, you’re making me nervous”? Exactly.

How to Stop Digging

Today, I encourage you to try the most simple task. Don’t make things worse. If something happens to you, go through these steps and watch your stress dissolve.

• Take a couple of deep breaths. This is one of the easiest and most calming things you can do to yourself. Before your brain even starts to go off about what has happened and why it’s so bad, breathe. The initial feelings of stress and panic will pass quickly and you’ll feel calmer and more collected than before.
• Don’t give in to the feeling of stress or anger. These feelings will come up as part of an automated response by your brain when something goes wrong. But if you consciously resist the urge to give in to them, the anger and stress will pass quickly.
• Assess the situation calmly. Distinguish facts from feelings. Quite often things feel way more intimidating than they actually are. I have a friend who gets devastated quickly, especially after a stressful day at work. He is in a bad mood, talks about quitting his job and complains a lot. I don’t blame him, we all have those days that just seem to suck the life out of us. But when he calmly assesses the facts, he realizes that it’s only about one gruelling day a month while during the rest of the time he really enjoys his work. Thinking about “one bad day per month” instead of “today felt like Apocalypse Now” makes a huge difference.
• Think towards a solution. When you get into a stressful situation, among a lot of other stress indicators, your brain will be racing. Harness that power. Instead of going through thought loops and becoming desperate, think towards a solution and try to establish a plan. Challenges are opportunities.

That is how you stop digging yourself an even deeper hole.

That is how you transition from shaky and whiny Quirrel to calm, collected and having the ball at your feet Dumbledore.

So if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Stop making things worse.

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