Harnessing Values and Regret: Keys to Lasting Motivation

Tie methods of implementation to values and ideals that ensure lasting change

I have been dwelling on my collection of motivating ideas conceived by myself and unearthed from various sources. What I find remarkable is how often what I thought would be inspirational and life-changing was not.

I only twice harvested an insight that was mutational, that produced outstanding results: one to stop smoking, the other to lose fifty pounds in weight. This essay will review the strategies and tactics that best ensure success for securing long lasting motives.

Illusive Motives

For the rest, they died a slow death only to resurface later in weak attempts to be revived, but then they disappeared again.

Why do so many motivational and inspirational ideas in the self-help field fail to last as efficacious agents of change? I’m not sure I know. All I know is that often I was unmoved. Perhaps because I didn’t really believe them and so didn’t take them seriously. My will was not engaged, nor my emotions harnessed.

When Motives Wane

There are other reasons that strong motivators fail, in the long haul, to make the grade.

One likely reason motivational ideas fail to be effective is that they are too abstract or general; they may not be specific enough to harness initiative power. For example, the idea of “acting in accord with values” may not be motivating enough if it does not relate to a concrete project or outcome that the person cares about. Stopping smoking and losing weight were concrete and especially important to me then.
Another probable reason is that motivational concepts are not supported by specific strategies and habits to help the person overcome obstacles and move ahead. For example, the idea of “eating healthier” may not be enough to change one’s behavior if there is no list of specific foods to avoid or if the actual amounts of food intake are not specified.
A third likely reason is that motivational ideas are not reinforced by the positive feedback that can sustain a motivated mindset. For example, the idea of “learning a new skill” may not be enough to sustain the continual practice needed if progress is to be achieved. Also, there needs to be a concrete way to measure progress; otherwise, momentum may be lost. to motivate one to practice regularly if there are no clear progress indicators.

Recent research suggests motivation may vary by time of day. Research by Baumeister and others shows that willpower is a diminishing force during the day. That is, if you are performing tasks requiring a lot of self-control and willpower, it’s best to do them on a full stomach, early in the day when glucose levels are high.

I didn’t buy this idea because it doesn’t match my experience. But I do like the distinction between value rationality and instrumental rationality. Value rationality is when you do x because it is a way to embody a value, such as self-respect. Instrumental rationality is when you do x to get some benefit or reward, like more money, less weight, or release from the bondage of addiction.

Value Driven Motives are Best

During a lifetime of change attempts, the most success came when I formulated a value to pursue and embody. For me, the phrase ‘act in accord’ with values or principles has served me well. Not always, to be sure, but the appeal of a preferred identity as a self-affirmative person or the appeal of being a person who honored his body was more vital as a motivator than the prospect of more mundane benefits and rewards like money or compliments.

I tended to be more conscientious when significant values were at stake, more so than when I was merely trying to overcome an inner obstacle where the reward was less significant. Such values as self-respect or an improved sense of self-worth have more pulling power in my experience.

Regret

And of course, the threat of REGRET is always present as a reminder when the choice available could lead you down the path of indulgence and guilt.

The prospect of regret can be a solid motivator to act. When we think of our regrets, we often focus on missed opportunities, past decisions, or losses. According to some researchers, we regret inaction more than our actions.

I recall years ago when I stopped smoking, the prospect of the regret I would feel if I got lung cancer was a powerful incentive to stop.

Regret can come up also if we fail to live up to our “ideal selves.” But if that ideal self is too abstract or general its motivating power may be minimal.

The prospect of regret can remind us of the importance of action aligning with our values and goals. It can highlight the potential consequences of inaction that can motivate us to avoid future regrets.