Have You Ever Thought About the Fact That

Happiness is Your Choice to Make Each Day

What Will You Choose Today?

I never thought much about happiness when I was growing up. For a whole variety of reasons, I simply didn’t fit in with my peers. I was an only child of much older parents. Our home was quiet, and furthermore, my parents didn’t socialize.

I really thought these things would change when I went away to college. They didn’t. Consequently, I didn’t have the skills or the knowledge to know to change my circumstances. I didn’t even know what happiness felt like.

I married, had children, and worked at a good job that I enjoyed. However, I still didn’t think about happiness…….I figured contentment was as good as it got.

Aha Moment

I had an experience that opened my eyes and totally changed my perspective. I was in New York on a business trip. It was January. It was as ugly as New York can be in January. It was cold. It was windy. The slush was dirty, it was half-frozen and half-melted out into the street.

I had a 4 pm appointment with the most negative person I have ever met. I was tired. I was cold. As much as I didn’t want to keep the appointment, I chose to do so.

After I was buzzed in, and as I was stomping the slush off my boots, taking off my muffler and gloves, dropping my briefcase, umbrella, and handbag, pulling off my hat, and struggling to get out of my coat Irving bounded in. He looked at me and said; “Are you always so happy?”

He wasn’t being sarcastic. I was stunned. I certainly didn’t feel happy at that moment. I felt as though my chin hit the ground for 5 minutes. In actuality, it was probably 30 seconds. Then something popped out of my mouth without any conscious thought on my part.

I said: “You know Irving, I really hate to be around people who are always on a downer (like you) and the only person whose company I can never escape is my own.”

Wow! I couldn’t wait to finish my appointment and go and ponder what I had just said. For me, it was incredibly profound.

Define Happiness

As a result, I began to study happiness and what people had said about it. During those lonely growing up years, I read history and biographies. My favorite biography was about Martha Dandridge Curtis Washington.

Consequently, when I came across this quote from Martha Washington it really resonated with me.

“I have learned from experience that the greater part of happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances”

(She was the widow Curtis when she married George Washington.)

I began to study people. I watched their attitudes and situations. At one point early in my business career, I had 5 women who reported to me. While there were four of them who were chronic whiners, there was one who was cheerful, helpful and a delight to be around.

With time I came to understand that she wore a steel back brace every day of her life. During the previous 20 years she had a major health situation about every 3 years…….cancer, a heart attack, back surgery, and more.

Her circumstances would have justified a whiny, poor me attitude. Instead, she chose to be upbeat and positive even when she was in great pain. She was a pleasure to be around. Her good humor was infectious (at least to those who would allow it to be).

She was an amazing role model for me as I was just beginning my career. Many years later as I sat in a New York hotel room to ponder my epiphany, she was the first person I thought of.

Contentment vs Happiness

I knew I wanted more than contentment. I wanted happiness and joy. Not only did I want them but I deserved them. This was a moment of truth.

As a result, I needed to get better acquainted with myself. I had to determine what would bring me happiness and joy. Pondering this was a new experience.

Answers did not come quickly. They came slowly over a period of years. There were ups and downs in my life as my circumstances changed. During the tough times I frequently had to look myself in the mirror and ask myself; “Do you really want to hang out with someone in this rotten mood? If not you had better do something about it.” I know that you won’t be surprised to know that I didn’t.

I learned to choose happiness and satisfaction. I learned to see silver linings in the most ominous of clouds. I learned to feed myself positive and uplifting ideas. I began to build a personal library of inspirational quotes that spoke to my soul. Just as I learned that I can change my physical well-being through a healthy diet I also learned I could change my emotional well-being by choosing a diet of positive thoughts and ideas.

I learned happiness is a choice. There are many things in life I can’t control. How I deal with those things is my CHOICE.

I choose happiness. It is a choice I make each day.

If you want to learn more about what will make you happy check out my e-book here. As you work through it you will find out things that matter to you that you have never thought about. You will gain insight into what brings honest-to-goodness long-term happiness customized just for you.