Happiness Comes From the Inside, Not From the Outside — Do This and Multiply It 10x!

Don’t let the circumstances of your life decide your happiness!

The traditional way of looking at happiness

Traditionally we see happiness as something that happens to us. It occurs only when the circumstances of our lives are just about right.

This view implies that we don’t control our happiness ourselves. Only if we get everything exactly right, only if we get what we want — only then will we be happy.

We understand it the way that happiness is something that happens to us if the outside is good enough. The better the circumstances the happier we will be.

And that makes us always strive to improve those outside circumstances. We are never really content with the present. We are always striving towards something else, something better.

After all, there is always room to become just a tad happier, isn’t it?

Funnily enough, this in and of itself, is the exact recipe for misery. It implies resisting the present because it is not good enough. It implies wanting something else than what is. It implies dissatisfaction.

So in a nutshell — striving for happiness prevents us from being happy.

The brittle type of happiness

The above way of understanding the world provides us with a very brittle type of happiness. This is a happiness that we can never trust. If our circumstances change for the worse, the happiness may disappear very fast.

And of course — our circumstances are always at risk of sudden deterioration.

So it is happiness that is conditional and risky. Only if certain factors are in place do we have a chance at happiness.

And if we are happy there is no guarantee that we will remain in what we see as the happy state.

This above understanding of happiness made up my reality for many years. For example, going on holiday from work, if I felt anything was still outstanding, I could not relax. I could not be happy if I felt that there was a risk of something going wrong.

Because my thinking was somewhere else than here and now. The “what if” thought was always present, and it disrupted my happiness. Because my happiness was a direct derivative of my circumstances.

Happiness is not a state

A different kind of happiness is the one that comes from within. It is happiness that is not conditioned on outside circumstances.

Instead, we realize that what we are is happiness. We no longer see happiness as a state. But what we are when our mind does not cloud our eternal being.

What we are is consciousness, consciousness is full acceptance of the here and now. And that is happiness, there is nothing but happiness in the here and now.

Try this for yourself in your mind. When you start deliberating about whether something is good or bad. consciousness has already accepted it. Because if it hadn’t you would not even had the chance to deliberate about it.

Misery is a mind construct. It can only occur when we are somewhere else than in the here and now. When we want something that we don’t have. Or when we want to get rid of something that we do have.

So the deal is to not let such mind activities cloud our happiness. Just like the sky is always blue, even if clouds are covering the blue, the blue is always there.

What we are is the causeless happiness that we see in children. They don’t necessarily have anything particular to be happy about from our point of view. But because they remain in the here and now, they are happy for no apparent reason.

This kind of happiness is also achievable by us adults. By not putting value to our thinking and preferencing — ie this is good and this is bad. That type of thinking only produces resistance to what is, which equals misery.

How to get there!

The idea should be to live in line with what we are, consciousness, and that means to accept all. This equals happiness.

See that you decide your happiness. Your most important decision every day should be the decision to be happy. Which means to fully accept the moment as it is.

There is not a lot more to it.

Well, I should add; don’t dwell on problems, don’t even formulate them in your head. Look at negative thoughts as false news instead. Disregard them. Also, cut out all negative talk.

Decide to be positive — and you will be happy. Real happiness comes from the inside.

At last a little practical life hack;

If you feel down and negative — smile!

Don’t smile for the reason that this should make the world smile back at you (as the saying goes).

No, smile because that smile will spread inwards into your body. And soon you will feel happier and maybe even begin to laugh out loud.

I kid you not, it happened to me — try it for yourself!:)

Thanks for reading — please like and comment — tell me your views on the above. And of course, please follow me if you want to read more on this theme!