Confidence: The Sum Of The Values You Hold Dear

When you live your life through your own set of values, your life will always be rich.

Does the pace of your life concern you in any way?

Do you ask questions about the importance of what you do?

Is time rarely on your side?

If so, let this story guide you to a happier place.

I’m sure there are many versions of it. It’s simple in its construct, but still, it conveys a message that we can all learn from.

This version I learned when living on the beautiful island of Bougainville in PNG, some years ago. There the pace of life aligns with Nature.

When we first went there as a young couple, we were full of enthusiasm and excitement, but it didn’t take us long to realize that our pace of living, and our ideals, didn’t necessarily parallel with that of the islanders.

Time was always on their side. They had time, lots of time, time for a gossip, a song or two, a catch-up.

Every day seemed leisurely in comparison to ours, which though not as harried as many in the world, was still full of catch-ups, and have-to-dos.

But maybe they had things right all along. Maybe there were lessons there for the learning, but our eyes were closed to learning at the time.

The villagers had no need for large homes, and mortgages that keep us all anxious and on the work treadmill.

Nor were they interested in the latest fashion, and the many pairs of shoes that we expats seemed to accumulate. Mary dresses and thongs were the order of the day, for women, and laptops for men.

As far as the islanders were concerned, life for them was determinedly relaxed, and to be enjoyed.

And all these years later, I now realize that they were expert in that craft, often to our frustration, but that didn’t mean that we were right!

And just by way of illustration, I offer up this cute little story that exemplifies that we got it wrong then, and in so many ways, continue to do so, today.

The take home will be different for us all. Whatever we hold dear, however many things we feel the need to accumulate, however much we need to impress others, or not, will determine our interpretation.

It was early in the day and the fisherman had just docked his boat. The catch was truly impressive. The glistening coats of the impressive king fish and red emperor, (as good as the finest lobster!) reflected the sun’s rays. An early start had netted them a substantial catch.

Some tourists stood watching. They too, were impressed.

“That’s a fine catch,’ one said. ‘Did it take you long?”

‘Not so long, the islander replied.’

‘Will you go back for more?’

‘Probably not. Enough for my family and wantoks (friends) ,’ he answered.

‘But the day is just beginning. If you offload your catch and go back out, imagine how much more you could have.”

‘But I have enough. My family and friends will enjoy what I have. That’s all that matters.’

‘But it’s only eight o’clock. You could fish all day, and then you would have so much more.’

‘I could, but I don’t want to.’

‘Really? Sounds like a waste of a day to me. What do you do with the rest of your rime?’

‘Oh my goodness, where do I begin?’ the fisherman answered. ‘I live my life. I play with my children. I teach them how to swim, how to make tools for skinning the fish. I help my villagers, and sometimes, in the heat of the day, I have a nap. At night we meet up with our friends and have a few drinks and a sing-sing. Gutpela (great) life.’

The tourist thought it was anything but a good life. So many hours of sunshine in which to catch fish, and yet the islander just couldn’t see the opportunity that was there for the taking.

‘Look,’ he said. ‘I am a businessman, and if you like, I could teach you how to make money with the extra fish you catch’.

‘But why? I don’t need any more.’

‘Well, if you caught more, you could sell the extra and then buy a bigger boat.’

‘Why would I do that?’ the fisherman asked. ‘My boat is big enough.’

The fisherman was a wise one, and so he carried on the conversation knowing full well what the outcome would be. He had seen many expats arrive on the island, intent on making money. They were always busy, with not enough time to enjoy the moment. It didn’t impress him at all.

‘So I buy a bigger boat, catch more fish, sell my fish, and then what?’

‘Well you could buy more and more boats over time, and very soon you would have your very own fleet. You would be in charge. And, you could set up some stores around the island, and the mainland, and have others working for you. And that’s only for starters. How good would that be?’

‘So, I’d have my very own fleet…that would take a long time. How long, exactly?’

‘Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.’ replied the tourist.

“Longpela time. And after that?”

‘Well, when you get to that stage, you will have to decide what to do with your cash. An investment broker could help you with that. You know, you could stand to make millions if you plan well.’

“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fishermen.

“Then, my friend, you will be living the life of Reilly, on a beautiful beach, with white sands, and palm trees swaying in the breeze. I could help you get started.’

The fisherman pretended to be mulling things over…pristine beach living, time on his hands, naps in the heat of the day, and relaxing in the evenings with friends and family.

‘But,’ he said, with the widest smile, ‘I am already there. I am a lucky man. I have a beautiful family, plenty to eat, and friends to enjoy it with. And I live on the beach. Thank you for reminding me. My life is full.’

The moral of this story is that often we don’t realize we already have all that we are chasing. Being happy with who we are and what we have, means we are living in the moment.

Contentment is the art form that translates to happiness, and when we remember to water the garden where we currently find ourselves, the grass will be enviably greener, and our lives will be fuller than we might ever have imagined.

‘Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.’