Happiness: A Deadly Modern Illusion
Why an unhealthy view of success is ruining your drive.
Whether it’s a job we hope for or a relationship we dream of, happiness is often at the top of our pursuits. We want to feel good about heading into any avenue of our lives.
The satisfaction from this sense of completion would close the door to our helplessness, our desire to never feel empty again. Soon, we think, the dark hole of difficulty will give way to an unavoidable light filled with happiness.
Who wouldn’t?
That butterfly feeling in our stomachs as we’re reminded of the shiny glimmers of the future. That smile that stretches across our mouths as we daydream about what could be the end of all headaches and struggles.
We can’t help but get anxious about these promising hopes of tomorrow. Yet, rarely do we ever consider what’s really happening when we do this.
We’re holding ourselves back from something better, more exciting at this very moment. The realistic approach of how we carry ourselves now (instead of waiting for a future bulb to go off) is important too.
Changing how you perceive your current state ultimately affects your view of what success actually looks like.
Choose to See the Diamond in the Rough
More often than we care to admit, we simply see the rough, not the diamond. There’s nothing beautiful in our lives (to us anyway) because we push our happiness back as if it’s something we can only find in the future.
In our minds, all that we have to look forward to each day is a big chunk of misery. Something getting in the way of our potential. We’re just trudging along until our shot comes. Hoping and dreaming, tossing and turning.
This is what’s ruining us. This is what’s dragging us down creatively, blocking us from consistently producing helpful work for people thinking the same way we do.
I’d be lying out of my teeth if I said I never felt this way.
Sometimes I wake up before going to work and think about what it would be like to write for a living. To drink tea and type my heart out next to an open window with the perfect view.
We’ve all seen photos like that, right? How aesthetically pleasing would that be?
But then I stop and wonder if I would just end up feeling the same way about writing as I do about my current responsibility. I imagine it would seem like another job eventually, regardless of how many cups of coffee I’d chug.
So there has to be something outside of sheer happiness that makes a person carry on. There has to be another driving factor behind their consistency and efforts every day they open their eyes.
And there is.
It’s called commitment.
Stop Searching for Perfect
Let’s face it: there’s no such thing as perfect when it comes to finding a career or a person that “completes you.” Of course, we want everything to be this way, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen.
Most of the time our desires for these things stem from what we see in someone else’s life. People go to extraordinary lengths of trying to find the perfect cure for their lives, all in vain.
Because no matter how hard we try, there will always be moments where we just don’t feel like doing what we do. There will always be mornings when waking up and heading out becomes a little harder as time goes on.
This is a reality we should own up to already. It’s time we stopped relying on our happiness to get things done. Eventually, you’ll start to see that your perspective was clouded all along.
Consistency brings growth, growth brings success, and it is this success (of growing consistently) that satisfies our longings for something “perfect.”
All we have is right now. And what we have right now isn’t perfect. I’m sure we can agree about that, especially in most cases where the job is new and the tasks are fresh.
During stages like this, nothing seems better. But as time goes on, the weight of the mundane gets heavier and heavier, testing our levels of persistence. This, we have to remember, is a good thing.
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans.”
—Peter Drucker
Commitment Over Feelings
When we allow ourselves to be driven by the quest for happiness, we miss out on the happiness we’d otherwise have at this very moment.
We stop appreciating the ordinary steps throughout our journeys.
Everything becomes mundane. And when everything becomes mundane, we want to quit and try something else, something new. That’s usually how the story goes.
The process becomes this boring adventure that isn’t anything like what we see in the movies. It doesn’t fit the excitement in the photos we double-tap on Instagram, the ones where someone sits on the beach joyfully type away on a laptop, drinking an exotic-looking beverage with their feet up and shades on.
Must be so nice. I wish I was that happy.
This is what we’ve been trained to see as the ultimate standard of happiness. So we pursue it with everything we have, leaving the gratitude of the journey behind.
The fact of life is this: the feeling of being burned out will eventually come with anything you do. You’re not going to feel “happy” about everything single task, every single day, no matter how awesome it may seem on the outside.
Yes, it will get hard sometimes. But that’s what distinguishes successful people from those who spend their days searching for things to complain about.
It’s a commitment to growth in the position you’re in right now that changes our perspectives of what happiness really is.
The key is going all in and pushing beyond that tough spot, that uneasy feeling, and committing to grow anyway.
Find something you enjoy doing. Realize that some days will be harder than others before going through with it. Internalize that, and then keep doing it.
Regardless of what anyone else thinks of you, if this becomes your process, it will make you happy. Not because you think that happiness is everything, but because you find satisfaction in the twists and turns of the journey.
You can’t get rid of your feelings. They are a part of you. You can’t just make them go away. But you can address what’s causing you to feel the way you do.
It starts in your head before it spills over into your actions.
Maybe someday I’ll quit my day job.
Maybe someday I’ll kick my feet up with my shades on, typing away on my laptop without a care in the world. But until that happens, I’m not going to let the difficulty of staying consistent stunt my growth. And neither should you.
Kevin Horton is a photographer, college student, modest book-worm, and wanna-be web developer with a new-found love for writing. He writes helpful words about creativity, productivity, and the enjoyably simple life.
’Til next time. Thanks for reading!
