Hanging out with the boys at the D&D table!

Summary

A transgender woman shares her positive experiences of acceptance and being treated as a female while playing Dungeons & Dragons with a group of men at a local shop.

Abstract

The author, a transgender woman, describes her journey from playing Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) online during her transition to joining a local group of players. Initially apprehensive about how she would be received, she found that the group of men at the local shop treated her as one of their own, referring to her as "just another girl at the table." Over the course of four weeks, she observed that they were respectful and even protective of her during the game, which she attributes to their perception of her as a woman. She notes the contrast between this treatment and how she was viewed before her transition, highlighting the difference in the way male players interact with her now compared to when she was perceived as male. The author reflects on her lack of understanding of male behavior towards women, given her past experiences as an outcast among men. Ultimately, she expresses satisfaction and a sense of completion from being accepted and treated as a woman by her fellow D&D players.

Opinions

The author initially felt scared and worried about how she would be treated by the group of men at the D&D table due to past discomfort during her transition.
She was pleasantly surprised to find that the men in the group saw her as a woman and treated her respectfully, even protectively, during their gaming sessions.
The author acknowledges that she is often the subject of the male gaze but chooses to embrace and flaunt her femininity.
She contrasts her current experience with past interactions, noting a significant change in how she is treated now versus before her transition.
The author admits to having a limited understanding of traditional male behavior towards women, given her history of not fitting in with male peers.
She feels a profound sense of satisfaction from the acceptance and gender-affirming treatment she receives from the group, which contributes to her sense of feeling complete.

Hanging out with the boys at the D&D table!

So Interestingly enough I am an avid D&D gamer and I love to roleplay, have fun, be silly, and enjoy my time just like anyone else does. Well, about 4 weeks ago I started playing D&D at a local shop, which was the first time I started playing D&D locally or with other people in a very, very long time. During my transition I didn’t feel comfortable playing with other people, so I stayed home and played online. Then my confidence finally got better and I felt more of myself so I figured why not give it a try.

At first, I was honestly scared. I was really worried and I wasn’t sure how people were going to treat me because, in my opinion, I know it fast but there’s always that over-looming fear that I don’t or I’m going to make a mistake or something’s going to go wrong. So I’m always looking over my shoulder mentally even though I know everything is perfectly fine and I have nothing to worry about.

So now it’s been 4 weeks playing D&D with a local group. Basically, all guys, and no one notices, No one questions me at all. It’s like I’m just another girl at the table and they treat me like a girl. They’re scared of me or shy or struggle to talk to me, which is very interesting by the way.

And oh my God I can definitely tell I am so just not one of the boys. And I can tell you that because of the way they treat me. They do not see me as a guy as anything other than female and it is so wonderful to have over 10 guys all seeing me as female around a table who spend not just a few minutes around me but hours playing a D&D game. Honestly, I don’t know what to say about how they treat me, but it’s nice it’s not rude and It’s not mean.

I mean I do notice there staring at my boobs a lot, like a whole lot. But I mean what can you do? Like guys are going to look at your boobs no matter what if they’re out, but like out where you know I’m not nude or anything, but like a shirt you know that pushes them up and shows off your pretty little babies. I might flaunt him a little bit, but do you blame me?

Anyway, it’s really interesting to see that people look at you differently now than they did five or six years ago. And when I used to play D&D before my transition I did play with guys at the table role-playing and they treated me like one of the guys that is completely different now, — entirely different — . I feel like I’m being treated like well honestly like the women were treated when I was playing DnD back then.

I mean the guys even treat me differently in character Then they do Other characters, even the ones that people are playing as female characters. Yes, guys are playing female characters. But when they play a female character they don’t get the same response as when a female comes in and plays a female character, the guys will come over in-game with their character and protect me from an attack. Try to save me when I should have died, Truly interesting. They go out of their way to make sure I’m okay. Maybe this is a common thing? I’m not 100% sure. Well, I do have an understanding of men growing up but I really never fit in with them and never truly understood their motives and I didn’t act like they did, always being an outcast. So in the end, I never really truly understood how men act towards women or why they do that. It required me to learn when I was more interested in learning what females do cause guess what? I am a female.

Anyway, the game was interesting and I’m really enjoying the fact that I’m being treated like every other female would be at a D&D gaming table in person for several hours and I’m not thought of any other way. It’s really a great feeling that is hard to explain but just the satisfaction of feeling complete.

Transgender

Hanging out with the boys at the D&D table!