Summary

The author's journey from a corporate hamster wheel to self-discovery and embracing a more human-centric life.

Abstract

The narrative describes the author's transition from a hectic corporate lifestyle, symbolized by a hamster wheel, to a more introspective and purpose-driven existence. Over a six-month period, the author experienced a series of revelations, beginning with the realization that they had lost touch with their own identity and what brought them joy. Despite attempts to fill the void with productivity and the pursuit of a better job, the author ultimately recognized the need to prioritize personal well-being and self-awareness. The process culminated in a conscious decision to explore life beyond the confines of a demanding career, leading to a renewed sense of humanity and the courage to seek true bliss.

Opinions

The author initially believed in the rewards of the corporate lifestyle, including the constant busyness and the inability to disconnect from work.
The COVID-19 furlough served as a wake-up call, prompting the author to confront their work-centric identity and the lack of personal fulfillment.
Efforts to improve oneself through exercise, diet, and organization were seen as a means to fill an emotional void, rather than as paths to genuine happiness.
The author came to understand that their dissatisfaction stemmed from their job, not personal shortcomings, leading to a job change.
A pivotal moment occurred when the author hoped for a delay in job offers, indicating a deeper desire for self-exploration and a break from the cycle of constant achievement.
The author interprets being passed over for job opportunities as a positive sign from the universe, affirming the decision to prioritize self-discovery.
The journey concludes with the author feeling a mix of bravery and fear, but ultimately more human, as they embark on a quest to find their true bliss.

You Can’t See The Hamster Wheel When You Are On It

A tale of how I finally chose myself.

Once upon a time, I was a young impressionable Human living a full life with zero regrets. I vaguely remember that time. I recall being happy and wanting to travel and move all the time.

Today I am a recovering Human who quit the super fast corporate hamster wheel to find her purpose. And this is a snapshot of my journey for anyone wondering why they haven’t felt Human in years. My six stages of transition happened within a span of six months but have been years in the making.

1) You have forced yourself to believe that you are a Hamster and that you LOVE and LIVE the Hamster life.

I lived the hamster wheel of corporate addiction for years. My days were plagued by compulsive physiological need for emails, meetings & coffee.

I hardly ate or drank (yet gained 20 lbs.).
Pretended to listen to people while looking at work emails on my phone with a side-eye.
I constantly said things like…

“What is wrong with checking emails on vacation?”

“Of course — I can get on a call at 7 PM to discuss that totally inconsequential non-emergency topic”

2) Your Hamster wheel breaks down for a minute. You realize have no idea who you are or what Hamsters or Humans do for FUN.

One fine sunny cold day in Chicago, COVID knocked on the door and put me of furlough for 2 months. I was angry that a multibillion-dollar organization could function a minute without me. Let alone, two months.

A sense of relief followed anger. I was finally allowed a break from work. What I didn’t know at the time was that I had no clue how to take an actual mental break.

I sat on my couch and wondered who I am, what I did for fun, and why I was feeling as empty as the Cheetos bag next to me.

3) You will fix “YOU” and live your best Hamster life.

I sprang into action to fix my feeling of emptiness. Mission FIX ME ASAP was on.

If there was one thing I knew how to do well was to guilt, shame, and stress me into productivity.

I worked out every day for weeks, ate healthy, cooked, cleaned, and organized, scheduled 2 hr. breaks every day to relax (Oh boy!), and tried meditation.

4) You are convinced that you can find a different Hamster wheel (one that is not broken).

Nothing worked. The moment I stopped “doing”, I felt a big gaping hole in my heart that kept getting bigger. I couldn’t believe it. “Being happy” was turning out to be a lot harder than I expected.

Then I cracked the code. There was nothing wrong with me or how I handled work. I was PERFECT — physically, mentally, and spiritually.

All problems came from ‘THIS JOB’ & all solutions pointed to finding the next shiny new job. The one that pays more with a better title and more responsibilities. I couldn’t wait.

So, I quit my job and started looking for a new one. I immediately found not one but two new companies interested in my resume and experience.

5) You realize you are HUMAN.

I went through 3 or 4 rounds of interviews with both companies. I showed up to every interview like a first date — makeup on, legs shaved, and all. And then it was time to wait for that ‘You got the job’ phone call from both companies.

And I didn’t have anything to do other than wait. I found myself waiting for the phone to ring but at the same time praying “PLEASE don’t offer me the job today. I am not ready. Maybe tomorrow?”.

That is when it dawned on me that I may need to take a breath. And work on ‘ME’ to understand what is really going on. Say hi to my true self — the one I haven’t seen, talked to, or listened to in years.

Lucky for me, both companies decided to move on with other candidates. The universe came through for me with two rejections to remind me not to reject myself over and over again.

6) You set out on your quest to find your bliss slowly but surely.

So here I am, for the first time in my life, making a conscious choice to embark on this Human journey. I stand with an open mind and a grateful heart.

I feel Brave and Scared. Anxious and Free. But more than anything else, I feel HUMAN.

Check out more of my life lessons and insights here on Medium.