Halloween Was an Island of Happiness

Moments of sharing and kindness are a welcome respite in a harsh world

We live in a big community where overall, people do try to be friendly and kind to their neighbors. As with all groupings of humans, this sometimes works better in theory than in practice, but it’s not like I was worried that Halloween wouldn’t be a fun night. Still, I was really heartened and happy that it went so well — particularly for my 25-year-old son Hugh, who still loves to dress up and Trick-or-Treat.

Hugh is autistic and non-verbal, although he’s able to communicate quite well through sign, gestures, and his favorite, mental telepathy. He can write and spell also, and has a perfectly wonderful voice-output program on his iPod, but for the past 7 or 8 years he hasn’t wanted to use it. Still, even the people in his life who don’t understand sign language generally get the gist of what he’s trying to get across.

Hugh is a guy who knows what he wants and he has no reservations about going after that. At times, this is somewhat at odds with conventional society, and that can lead to some awkward moments, but generally, people are kind and understanding around him. Still, it gives his dad and me a bit of anxiety because that isn’t necessarily guaranteed — particularly in this day and age where so many people seem to lose control over relatively minor things. So far, we’ve never had any really bad experiences with Hugh, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t still worry.

Lots of autistics still like many of the things they enjoyed as young children. Getting to watch the same shows, read the same books, or do the same things you’ve done all your life offers a sense of comfort and stability. Plus, in the case of Halloween, it’s fun to be out in the festive atmosphere collecting candy and seeing the costumes that others put on. Hugh doesn’t know he’s really “too old” for that, but the people on our street have always been accommodating and welcoming, so we keep letting him do it. It makes him really happy, and in truth, what’s the harm?

As I’ve already said, our neighbors have always been kind to Hugh, but last night was just a particularly nice time. One lady remembered that he likes lollipops and went inside to find some for him. Others smiled indulgently as he rifled through the bowl looking for preferred treats. If he didn’t see anything he wanted, he’d simply move on to the next house, to the surprise of more than one person. One lady handed him a packet of red licorice — and he put it back in the bowl. As I said, Hugh is a guy who knows what he wants, and what he doesn’t — but everybody seemed to be just fine with that.

Usually, James is the one who takes him out and I stay home to hand out candy, but this year we switched, and I guess that’s why I came away with such a good feeling about it all. I got to see up close and personal the way that it went for everyone, all up and down our street. Several people had left bowls of candy out and they had not been emptied. When I told Hugh, “Just take one,” he did so without complaint, like it only made sense to leave some for others. I’m glad other kids thought so too.

Lots of parents were out and about with their little ghouls and goblins, as well as plenty of younger teens in groups of 3 or 4. From what I could tell, everyone was polite, and in a festive mood. I said Happy Halloween more times than I can count as we thanked our neighbors and passed others on the darkened sidewalk. A couple of hours of all the people around me being friendly, nice, considerate, and festive — it just really warmed my heart.

It’s not like I expected last night to be a challenging evening, but I was still gratified at how overwhelmingly positive it seemed to be — for everyone. There’s so much in the world right now that is just awful, hateful, and tragic. People are frequently not kind to or considerate of each other, and getting to experience a couple of hours of not that was just such a welcome island of joy.

Hugh can have some anxiety around holidays, particularly the ones he really likes, because he has so many expectations of just how he wants it to go. He was a bit wound up in the late afternoon, but by the time the littlest kids started coming to the door, he enjoyed looking at their costumes and anticipating going out in his — but not until after it was dark. You have to do it “right.”

The first thing Hugh did when we got out to the sidewalk was to stop and look up at the moon for a moment. Then he took my hand (something that doesn’t happen all that much anymore) and we headed out together, looking for Halloween adventure. What a nice night! This All Saints Day/Day of the Dead, I feel like my ancestors are smiling. I know I certainly still am.

© Copyright Elle Beau 2023