Hallmark’s Homophobic Misstep Should Be a Wake-Up Call

We are still failing to empower the LGBTQ community

“Did you hear Elsa might be a lesbian?” My cousin asked from across the room.

I was sitting on the floor, playing with her 3-year-old daughter who is obsessed with Frozen. My dad and his girlfriend were sitting on the couch nearby.

“That’s fantastic!” I said, loudly.

I always speak loudly when it comes to any subject related to the LGBTQ community. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to call myself a member of this group, since I’ve only had heterosexual relationships and as such, have not had to deal with the hatred and homophobia others have had to endure. But I don’t think of myself as heterosexual. At the very least, I can say I’m a passionate ally. And as such, I tend to raise my volume when speaking of this subject just to make it clear how I feel.

My cousin and my dad’s girlfriend both looked at me in shock.

“Are you crazy?” my cousin said.

I was stunned and suspicious. Was she actually objecting to a lesbian relationship? Did I not know her as well as I thought I did?

“What’s the problem?” I asked, drawing out my words very slowly to express that she should tread lightly.

“It’s not right,” my dad’s girlfriend said, which didn’t surprise me. She’s a devout Christian.

I opened my mouth to object at the same time my cousin started speaking. I expected her to challenge my father’s girlfriend’s homophobic statement and was stunned when she made one of her own.

“How are we supposed to explain that to a child?”

Protecting “Family-Friendly” Content

On Sunday, as I was checking my Twitter feed, I noticed a trending hashtag: #BoycottHallmarkChannel. I clicked on it and read the story and was shocked to learn that they had cut a commercial featuring a lesbian couple kissing at the altar. (Actually, I wasn’t at all surprised.)

The commercial was advertising an online wedding planning company, Zola. According to The Associated Press, Zola submitted six commercials to Hallmark, four featuring lesbian couples. The commercials depicting heterosexual couples were approved. The ones including lesbian couples were pulled.

In response to blatantly discriminatory decision, Zola pulled all their ads.

This series of events began after the conservative advocacy group One Million Moms complained to Hallmark’s parent company, Crown Media Family Networks. They responded by stating: “The call to our office gave us the opportunity to confirm the Hallmark Channel will continue to be a safe and family-friendly network.”

If pulling the commercial wasn’t bad enough, this statement is horrifying — blatant confirmation of the homophobia that inspired the decision. Erasing the depiction of same-sex couples is “safe?” Same-sex couples aren’t “family-friendly?” And if we were to follow that thread of logic, where would it lead us? Same-sex couples can’t be families?

This reminds me of the conversation I had with my cousin about Frozen 2. How are we supposed to explain that to a child?

What kind of question is that? Do we have to explain heterosexuality to children? Do we worry how a man and woman kissing will affect a child’s perspective on the world?

This is absolutely absurd to me. If a child doesn’t have anyone in their life modeling non-hetero relationships, then what a gift it is to see that represented in the media. Because, you know, it’s normal. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s neither unsafe, nor anti-family.

Lesbians = Controversy?

When I told my sister about the Frozen 2 conversation a week later, she was as stunned as I was. She wasn’t surprised that my father’s girlfriend said what she said, but she was shocked that our cousin was worried about her daughter potentially seeing a same-sex couple in a Disney movie.

“Why is that even an issue?” she asked.

I had no answer. I don’t understand how, in 2019, we can have “concerns” about exposing our children to loving relationships of all kinds.

I’m equally perplexed by the statement made in reference to this issue by Molly Biwer, senior vice president for public affairs and communications at Hallmark:

“The Hallmark brand is never going to be divisive. We don’t want to generate controversy, we’ve tried very hard to stay out of it … we just felt it was in the best interest of the brand to pull them and not continue to generate controversy.”

This is so troubling to me. Same-sex relationships are not controversial. Failure to include all representations of loving family structures is, in fact, divisive.

This isn’t about politics or even religion. This is about doing what’s right. This is about celebrating love and families, which Hallmark claims to be all about.

This should be a call to action — not to move backwards, but to take the next step. How about a movie — even just one, Hallmark? — featuring a same-sex couple? And what about some diversity of others kinds? If visiting aliens happened to tune in to Hallmark before taking a stroll around the planet, they might assume the majority of people here are upper-middle-class, heterosexual Caucasians in their mid-thirties. There’s so little diversity, it’s laughable.

Only it isn’t funny. Not in the slightest. I realize they are pandering to their demographic (white women looking for a little escapism), but that’s still no excuse. Not for the viewers and not for them.

Women are certainly not at the top of the food chain, but white women are higher up than most everybody else. Especially those of means. Especially those who are heterosexual. Especially those who are Christian. Each one of these tags of privilege is one more call to use that power to lift up everyone — not just those who check certain boxes.

A Lukewarm Apology Isn’t Enough

As I wrote this article, Hallmark released another statement declaring the obvious: they made a mistake. Mike Perry, President and CEO of Hallmark Cards, Inc., said:

“The Crown Media team has been agonizing over this decision as we’ve seen the hurt it has unintentionally caused. Said simply, they believe this was the wrong decision. Our mission is rooted in helping all people connect, celebrate traditions, and be inspired to capture meaningful moments in their lives. Anything that detracts from this purpose is not who we are. We are truly sorry for the hurt and disappointment this has caused.”

I’m glad to hear to this, of course, but I can’t help but feel that it took too long to get to this point and that this isn’t a strong enough statement based on the language they used in their initial statements. They acknowledged they hurt people, but they should have also taken this opportunity to stand with the LGBTQ community.

This would have been the perfect moment to issue a mea culpa for their regrettable choice of words in describing their decision — the implications, for instance, that same-sex weddings are not “safe” for certain viewers, that they aren’t “family-friendly,” and that inclusion of LGBTQ lifestyles is “controversial.” Lukewarm apologies are not enough — especially in the climate of hatred and divisiveness we are living in today.

And though I haven’t seen a complete list of celebrities who spoke out against this, I have yet to see any mention of the big stars of Hallmark who one would think would use their privilege to immediately speak out against discrimination and demand better.

Why are we failing to do this for one another? Are we really so terrified of the idea that we’ll have to “explain” the spectrum of human sexuality to our children if they happen to see two women kissing on TV?

If a child is genuinely confused by a depiction of love that falls outside of heterosexuality, then what a privilege we have to explain to them that the heart loves who it loves. That families come in all different shapes, sizes, and genders. That there isn’t a “wrong” way to live their lives.

This is not a conversation we should be afraid to have just in case Elsa turns out to be gay. Just in case the kids see two women getting married on a commercial during a Hallmark movie.

The fact that we are afraid of this conversation should indicate just how very backwards we still are when it comes to love, sexuality, and equality. And it’s a glaring spotlight showing us how much more work we need to do in order to get it right.

© Yael Wolfe 2019