Hallelujah! A Little One Is on the Way

But how do you choose a name?

One of the many exciting requisites of pregnancy is deciding on the perfect name for your child. For some it is easy; you have had a beloved one saved up for as long as you can remember and (thankfully) your partner agrees. Or perhaps there is a name that runs through the family line and your child will follow the tradition.

For most expectant parents, there will be a time when you both scour the internet for suitable possibilities, for there may well be something that you have never heard of before or considered. Do you want your child to be one of five Olivia’s in their classroom because that is the popular name for the year? Or do you aspire to them having a more unique name that makes them stand out from the crowd?

My name is Barbara. It has not been a popular name since the 1930s. No, I am not in my nineties. I was born in the late ’60s and my mum chose my name just because she liked it. Dad agreed.

Apparently, there was a debate whether I should be called Heather. I am glad they chose Barbara as according to the internet, I am by virtue, a protector against fire and lightning which is a notch better than being a shrub.

Ironically I am petrified of both fire and lightning. Not shrubs.

I did not fall into the traditions trap that my older brother did. Being the first-born son, my parents felt obliged to call him Ronald as my Dad, his father, and grandfather all went by that name.

It didn’t stick; my brother has always been Neil, his middle name, and he did not name any of his boys Ronald either. I was secretly pleased there was no expectation for me to follow suit.

I still get frustrated that I have to correct people when they try to spell my name. Yes, it sounds like Barbra, but there is another ‘a’ in there. I have become more accustomed to being called ‘Barb’ since being here in Canada, but I loathed that shortened form as a kid. Now, it circumnavigates the spelling issue.

I am not ‘Babs’ or “Barbie”. I was not even a fan of Barbie dolls as a child.

When I was pregnant with my first child, we had both names figured out pretty quickly. I did not know the sex for any of my babies until they were born, so both boys and girls names were democratically discussed and planned out beforehand. The surprise of finding out your child’s sex at birth is worthy of another story.

I just love my daughter’s name, Hannah Rose. I didn’t know any Hannah's and ‘Rose’ just seemed to fit. She suits her name perfectly, and the best thing is she adores her name too.

My second born was a boy, so the backup name for the firstborn became his. James Elliot. No, I did not choose the name because it is consistently the most popular throughout the ages. ‘James’ is my maiden name and ‘Elliot’ just gelled. He is now 23 and hasn’t complained about his name so I guess it’s okay!

But trouble brewed when number three was in the proverbial oven. We had used up all our favorite names. My husband wanted Lawrence and I didn’t. It wasn’t that I hated it, but more so that my choice, Thomas Henry, sounded so much more of a match for the already established and perfectly suited ones.

The names Hannah and James resembled those of novelists and poets and seemed to just roll off the tongue. Lawrence didn’t.

The night I was in labor and my husband was driving me to the hospital, he caved.

I delivered a baby boy, and Thomas Henry he is!

Whatever name you chose for your child, there are some important things you should consider before committing it on a birth certificate. Once it is stamped and approved, it is can be an arduous and costly process to legally change down the road.

Here are a few tips for navigating the naming game:

Make lists

Come up with your individual lists of desired names before discussing or insisting on a particular one. Hear your partner out and sit on it. You do have 9 months to decide!

Keep it secret

Don’t tell anyone — especially your parents! You cannot please everybody, but everyone will have an opinion if you let the cat out of the bag too soon.

It is your child and your decision. Save the revelation until the birth. They’ll just have to like it once it is legally written in black and white.

Play with initials

Be mindful of the initials created from given, middle, and surnames:

Zoe Isabelle Tyson becomes a ZIT. Bruce Robert Adams becomes a BRA.

A recipe for teasing as they get older!

By the way, my son is 75% Jedi, (JED) and he’s proud.

Consider given and first names

My mum had a cousin called Dick Head.

I went to school with a kid called Wayne King.

A friend of the family is named Tess Stickle.

Yikes!

Check out how the prospective given name grooves with the family name.

Weird may not be so cool

If you are heart-set on having a unique name, take into consideration that you — and your child — will be forever having to repeat and spell their name. Be warned that people will consistently butcher the pronunciation and you will all be offended.

There will also be ubiquitous questions about the origins and purpose of the name.

It may get tiresome.

Celebrity caution

When you name your child based on an affinity to a celebrity, if they fall out of favor, you may not like the name so much thereafter.

Practice yelling the name in anger.

Trust me, you will be doing this a lot! Now I know Bill Cosby is one of the afore-mentioned celebrities who has fallen out of favor because of his sex-offender convictions, but a quote from him in his heyday rings true:

Always end the name of your child with a vowel so that when you yell the name it will carry.

Names link to people

There were certain names I knew I just could never call my offspring as they were associated with dark memories and people. I was tormented in primary school by a boy named Patrick. He ended up writing to me from prison when I was a teen which caused quite a kerfuffle. And Bryan was just a ratbag who will always be remembered whenever I hear that name.

Always forgive your enemies but never forget their names; Robert Kennedy

Take this into consideration as you really don’t want to be reminded of someone you don’t like every time you say (or yell) your kids' name.

Think forward

Finally, fast forward to your child's future. In Québec, you need to have a serious reason to need to change your name. According to the governmental website, the following are considered ‘serious reasons’:

• The use, for five years or more, of a surname or given name not entered on the act of birth
• A name of foreign origin, too difficult to pronounce or write in its original form
• Serious prejudice or psychological suffering caused by the use of the name
• A name that invites ridicule or that is infamous (marked by disgrace, shame, or humiliation)
• The intention to add to the surname of a child under 18 the surname of the father or mother, or a part of it if it is a compound surname

It is interesting to note here that when I was married in New Zealand, changing my surname to that of my husband’s was expected and easy. I merely had to update my details on the electoral roll and get a new passport.

When I moved to Québec, I suddenly had to revert to using my maiden name for anything governmentally related. I sign medical consent forms with my married name, yet the paper has my maiden name on it. Huh?!

When James was born, they thought I was nuts calling my son James James. He’s not. All my children took on their father’s surname, and despite being divorced, I still go by my married name.

In New Zealand, the process for changing a given or surname appears less rigorous than in Québec.

Be sure to check out the laws and regulations in place for wherever you live.

Researching for this article, I found that there are some really weird names out there that had me flummoxed. Hallelujah is one of them (hence my title), but I think Frank Zappa the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer from the sixties and seventies gets the prize for peculiar ones. His four kids are called Moon, Dweezil, Ahmet, and Diva.

Furthermore, there are two quotes from opposite generations that speak volumes:

“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.” ― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

If I’m gonna tell a real story, I’m gonna start with my name. — Kendrick Lamar

Naming your child is significant. Think about it long and hard before committing to one.

If you are at loggerheads, hold out. There is a chance your partner will agree when he sees what you have to go through to push the wee cherub out!