Hair, Oh Where Did You Go?

A “piece” for the follicularly challenged.

Friends. Lovers. Jobs. They come and go, but when your hair says, “fuck off, I’m outta here — man, that’s a hit.

I used to love my hair. Was proud of it, actually. For most of my life, it was long, healthy and, when the light hit it just right, positively shimmery. Mermaid hair, before mermaids were a thing.

And, the best part: It was low-maintenance. Wash. Air dry. A little schmutz, and I was good to go.

Let me be clear. It wasn’t the kind of hair that, CNN’s Erin Burnett has, for example: Locks so voluminous they need their own zip code, but my tresses worked for me.

As I’ve aged, so has my hair. It’s gone from surfer-girl, beach wavy to super fine and curly. The saving grace: No gray. No expensive dye jobs. But, as my Mom used to say, “In our family, we go bald before we go gray.”

Aside from simply aging, many factors play into hair loss or thinning. Hormonal changes. Stress. A poor diet. Over-processing with chemically-laden dyes and other junk. Even a dramatic weight loss can affect our hair. But one thing is certain: For those of feeling the breeze up above, we’re not alone.

Check out women’s mags in the supermarket or drug store. If the cover stories aren’t shrieking, “Lose your belly fat!” they’re promoting some useless product or weird technique to “Regrow your thinning hair!”

That’s one hell of a testament for growing older, isn’t it? Bellies and baldness. (Someone, get me a drink.)

Medications, too, can wreak havoc with our locks. The last three years were especially hard on my “crowning glory.” After being treated for breast cancer (lumpectomy, radiation), I was prescribed a pill called Femara (generic name, Letrozole).

Femara suppresses estrogen in the body. My particular breast cancer was what is called “estrogen-fed/positive,” so my estrogen level needs to be kept under control. Honestly, I didn’t know I had any left! Normally, doctors prescribe the drug for five years.

As I’ve been on this pill for a while, my body has adapted. If you Google Femara, you’ll see it comes with many side effects. No surprise, right? Bone loss. Dizziness. Blurred vision. This is just a sampling of the weird shit that can happen to the body from this particular drug. But, there’s another side effect that, when I checked the breast cancer forums, had survivors particularly upset: Hair thinning or loss.

As promised, my hair thinned out. Quite a bit. It never actually fell out. I never clogged the shower drain or anything like that. My hair just vaporized. And the texture got weird: Kind of curly/wiry.

Freaked to the max, I immediately went into action, meaning I spent a fortune on various supplements, shampoos, conditioners, and products, all promising to reverse hair loss and restore its natural awesomeness.

Any snake oil I could get my hands on, went into my scalp.

I probably have about a hundred shampoos in various places throughout our home. Each one of them promises to restore “volume and vibrancy.” Do they all work? Fuck, no. So I rotate them out and either give away the ones I don’t like (my sister and her family are usually the happy recipients), or stash them in a box in our laundry room.

If you’re experiencing any kind of hair loss, whether it be from aging, or any other reason, take heart: I’ve done the legwork and can share the products that have actually worked for me, so you don’t have to spend your life online searching for the Holy Grail of Hair.

I’ve spent a lot of time on Amazon.com. The site is awash with shampoos and conditioners specifically for people who are experiencing hair loss or thinning. After much trial and error, I’ve discovered the best course of action is to avoid any products with sulfates and unpronounceable chemicals. Go as “natural” as possible. Even Johnson’s Baby Shampoo has chemicals!

Look for DHT blockers, as well. DHT is an androgen that is thought to cause hair follicles to shrink, thereby causing “male pattern baldness,” even in women.

I’ve also tried every supplement imaginable. Biotin is one that, I believe, really helps the hair. A B vitamin, Biotin stimulates hair growth, and improves the overall volume. This is the one I use because it has the maximum dosage. I credit Biotin with helping me keep the hair I have left.

Along with Biotin, I take this over-the-counter supplement . Just one a day. With some of the other brands, two or even three pills a day is the norm. Another reason I stick with this brand: It contains apple polyphenols, another hair booster.

Finally, when I feel like going the extra mile, after I shampoo, I’ll massage castor oil into my scalp. Jamaican Black Castor Oil is particularly effective for strengthening hair and nourishing the follicles with the nutrients needed for healthy, rapid growth. It’s a bit messy, but I just slap on a plastic cap, throw a towel over my pillow and say “good night.”

Since I’ve been on Femara for about three years now, the hair thinning has stabilized and is at a point where I can live with it. “Live,” being the operative word.

I hope some of the above tips will help you as they have me. Hair loss is a bitch, but there are measures we can take to stave it off. And, if the little pill, Femara, keeps me healthy, I’ll take it. For as long as I need to.