Summary

The author discusses the struggle of living with mental and chronic illness, emphasizing the need for more open conversations about men's mental health.

Abstract

The article titled "Guys Also Feel Down, Lost and Internally Broken" is a personal account of the author's experience with Bipolar 1 disorder and Familial Mediterranean Fever (FMF), highlighting the daily challenges of living with chronic pain and mental illness. The author, who remains largely silent about his conditions to friends and colleagues, advocates for greater honesty and openness among men about their internal struggles. He points out the lack of discussion around men's mental health and the importance of sharing experiences to find collective ways out of darkness. The author calls for more male writers to share their stories, drawing inspiration from those who have bravely spoken up, and expresses a desire for change and healing.

Opinions

The author believes that the societal expectation for men to not discuss their feelings contributes to a culture of silence around mental health issues.
He suggests that sharing personal experiences with mental health can be validating and helpful in finding support and understanding.
The author expresses fatigue with the constant internal battle and the need to hide his true emotional state from others.
He emphasizes the importance of more men speaking openly about their mental health to foster a supportive environment and encourage healing.
The author is optimistic about the potential for improvement and healing through shared stories and mutual support.
He encourages readers to engage in self-reflection and share their own experiences with mental health challenges to provide validation and guidance to others.

Guys Also Feel Down, Lost and Internally Broken

It’s time to speak up about what we feel inside. This is my start.

Do you ever feel like the world is crushing you? Does it feel like your heart and mind are strewn with broken pieces? Are you lost as to where you are going?

Male, female, or however you choose to identify yourself, you’ve likely experienced at least some of those feelings before. It’s part of the human experience. Yet, all too often, it’s a part that guys especially don’t talk about.

Today, I’m talking.

Living with illness

Life is hard enough when you’re living with mental and chronic illness. Personally, I have Bipolar 1 and Familial Mediterranean Fever (FMF). If you’ve never heard of FMF, it’s a condition that causes constant fevers and pain.

Being in pain every day, whether physical, mental or both is torture. There’s no escape and no way to stop the onslaught.

Chronic pain tends to limit the ability to get deep and restful sleep. Less sleep then makes internal madness more intense and increases physical pain. It’s a vicious cycle.

Please, Stop Saying, “But You Don’t Look Sick”

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I’ve been down

It’s been months now that I’ve been in a very dark place. While a wear a smile and go about my daily life successfully performing my job and providing support to my loved ones, inside I feel empty, broken and beaten.

Still, as bad as I feel, I don’t reach out to the people in my life. No one at work knows I suffer from chronic illness. Most of my friends have no idea as to the toll that bipolar exacts.

Guys — most guys that is — don’t talk about such things.

I started my blog, Speaking Bipolar, specifically to help get conversations about mental health started. Yet, in that attempt, I have often failed to share what I really feel inside.

How can I improve?

Searching for help

Since I am reluctant to share how I feel with my IRL friends, I tend to turn to the digital world for support. Reading posts from open writers like Shannon Ashley helps, but it would be more validating if more men were willing to share what’s inside.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some great male writers blogging both on and off Medium. Writers like Zachary Phillips, Ryan Fan, Matthew Maniaci and others at Invisible Illness and similar publications are doing their part. In fact, I was deeply touched by Matthew’s article, What it Feels Like to be Suicidal. It’s a very open and validating article about living with such terrible feelings.

We need more Matthews. We need more honesty, more openness. I need those things.

I’m tired of being broken and beaten. I’m tired of hiding away at home at night and on the weekends because I don’t have the mental and emotional strength to go spend time with friends. I’m sick of being dark inside and seeing life through varying shades of gray.

Something has to change.

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Speak up

It’s not my intention for this to turn into a whining post. Yeah, I am whining a bit, but this is only the start. I want more people to speak up, to share the blackness inside. Hopefully, together we can find ways to navigate out of that darkness.

This is my start. This is me speaking up and saying, “Yep, I feel like crap inside, but I’m not willing to give up.”

I believe a better life is possible. I believe that with time and effort I can feel better. I just need a little help along the way.

So, I ask you, prompt you really, what are you feeling inside? Are you consumed with darkness or have you been in the past? What did you do to find your way out? How are you surviving each day?

I know I’m not alone. There are probably millions of readers out there living with secret pain. Let’s share our stories and offer some validation and guidance.

Are you willing to try?

Until next time, keep fighting.

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