Guilt tripping is disgusting, icky

I tell you what you are doing

and yet you don’t stop

there is a better way to communicate what you want

it is not through making me feel little

or using my mind against me

trying to get me to beat myself up because you want to be doing, acting, living

differently

we are not the same

that is why I am living differently

I hate when you do this

It makes me feel so icky

I feel bad, when I was previously feeling vibrant five minutes ago

just because you want me to be on your schedule

not mine

as I am older now

you need to let me live

and let me make my decisions

and not make me feel like I am disgusting

that I am existing wrong

that is not proper love

that is manipulation

and I see it

and I am lucky to have control now

but you don’t get why I am acting the way I am towards you

It’s because you hurt me for doing whatever it is I am doing

that sucks

it is not a good feeling

and you know when I feel, I really feel

so why do you continue to manipulate

communicate like an adult

stop guilt tripping me

let me live with whatever “repercussions” may come with my decisions

you do not make me feel good

and I feel it in my chest

while I was perfectly fine where I was five minutes ago

disgusting

icky

you did that

and you will sit in anger with me

when I don’t respond and do what I am told

but had you just communicated your emotions

and told me what you were feeling compared to telling me I am doing something wrong by having alternate interests

I would not feel so icky

and you would not feel so angry

but I credit you because you have been doing better

and I am proud of you

but belittling me is not right

and I ask please

just stop the guilt

that doesn’t need to exist

for I am me and you are you and what you are worried about is not that big of a deal in perspective

just stop

the feeling is killing me

guilt tripping

manipulation

icky

disgusting

anger

all to be avoided

replace that with love and emotion

and our connection would be better