Suck On This

Growing Weed is Not For the Faint of Heart

Germinate, you little bastard, Germinate

Grow pot indoors is ounces of fun — literally — and yet can be extremely frustrating, as well. It seems that no matter how perfect of a cultivation environment you create, some seeds simply produce genetically crappy weed.

I grew a couple of autoflower White Widow beauties that ended up awful. They were dry and barely produced any trichomes at all. Right next to them, in the same tent, was an auto Pine. It turned out perfect and was tasty to boot.

Therefore, I know it wasn’t my inability to grow great weed, but rather, bad seeds. I have had several successful and yummy harvests over the years, however, I have messed up a few times too.

I call these fuck-ups, “Learning Mistakes” (LM), unfortunately, growing errors are usually expensive and frustrating in the land of cannabis farming. After a few of these LMs, the learning curve is flattened to — This works & This does not work.

The best Cannabis learning-to-grow platform is YouTube. Everything you ever wanted to know about flowering the pretty Sativa and Indica ladies can be found on the internet.

A person can spend money to become certified in one or several various fields of the cannabis industry. Although, if you just want to grow your own, then YouTube is the answer.

One of my favorite links is, From Seed to Stoned This is great for beginners to advanced. Watch these videos and with a few one-time investments you’re ready to rock-n-roll.* After that, you will need to get feeding nutrients and good-quality seeds.

*Here is a quick list of some one-time purchase items: (Nothing lasts forever so, all of these items will need to be replaced one day. Usually, you will be able to get a couple or more years out of them. I have had my tents and lights for almost six years and they are still in use.)

1. A Grow Tent — Sizes vary but I would begin with no less than 3' x 3' x 6'
2. LED Grow Lights — Indoor LED lights are great because they produce a full spectrum of light with the least amount of heat.
3. Grow Pots — Needed to grow your plants in. They come in different gallon sizes and materials. Some pots are plastic but I prefer cloth pots, either 3 gal. or 5 gal.
4. Growing Medium — There are several ways to grow weed. It can be in soil, coco coir, water, or pebbles. I prefer using Coco Coir because it does not have anything added to it like soil does. Everything in it is what I choose to have in my dirt. (it is also reusable)
5. Small Pole Fans — Air circulation inside the tent is vital for healthy growth.
6. Humidifier — Depending on the area you live, you may need to add humidity inside your tent.
7. Carbon Filter and Exhaust Fan — This will help with two things, smell and heat.
8. Thermostat and Humidity Meter — Necessary for knowing your tent’s environment.
9. pH Meter — Knowing the pH of your water for feeding is crucial. If the pH is too high or low the nutrients may not be able to be absorbed into the plant.

This may seem like a lot of stuff but it can all be purchased as a kit on eBay or Amazon. Grow fans and soil may be something that needs to be purchased separately.

What I spent the first time to get set up was less than what an ounce at the pot dispensary would have cost.

After I was set up — it turned into about a half pound the first time. Yet, I warn anyone becoming a farmer of the herb, growing weed is not for the faint of heart.

For those who do give it a try, know that there will be disappointing moments, bad crops, and days when you want to call it quits. When I get frustrated I turn the tents off and go to the pot shop.

Once there, I see what the prices are — grab a cheap pre-roll. After I get home, I order more seeds and give my tents a good cleaning — preparing them for the next ounces of love to grow within its reflective walls.

I hope I have inspired some, and for those who are saying, “No fucking way!” I can certainly appreciate your point of view as well. Being a cannabis farmer is fun and highly rewarding — if you’ll excuse the pun — but also time-consuming and demanding.

It is my special hobby and I enjoy growing and harvesting my small little crops. I love to smoke it moreover, I love cooking with it. If you decide to give it a try put yourself in the best mental space possible first —

1. All mistakes are teachers!
2. When times of frustration arise try to remember this simple phrase,

“The only time you fail is when you quit trying!”

Here is a link I think you might like, Let My People Grow. The site is a non-profit for farmers of Hemp and Cannabis. Good stuff!

God gave cannabis to all of us, not just a few entrepreneurs with deep pockets. I grew up in Nebraska and no one said we couldn’t grow corn even though some mighty fine alcohol is made from it every year.

So, Dudes! — Keep your money-grubbing fingers out of my high and don’t worry about my little garden. I don’t know if you are aware but being a buzz kill is nothing to brag about.

Peace, Love, and Unconditional Happiness!