On Becoming a Grandmother During a Pandemic
Becoming a grandma during Covid has been so many things.
In the beginning, — it was scary.
Okay, that’s an understatement. My daughter lived in Brooklyn. It was the end of March 2020. There were so many people dying.
It was terrifying.
Once I began to get over my fears for her…it was exciting! My daughter had other friends who were pregnant too.
I was the first FaceTime call after Mona was born. It was 11p.m. I cried. It was so emotional. I savored a few moments, seeing Mona for the first time and then I took the phone up to our bedroom to wake my husband.
I went to help them in Brooklyn when Mona was 10 days old.
The love that I feel for her is unlike the love I feel/felt for my kids. I was always so busy with them. They never slept, so I was a wreck during the first years of their lives. It’s all a blur.
When I am with Mona, my time is only for her.
When we are apart, painting and drawing her helps me feel connected to her.
I try to see her every three weeks. Driving from Massachusetts to Ridgewood, Queens, where they moved when Mona was one month old. The move was rough. But now they have a backyard, and a room for me!
In between visits we FaceTime. She knows who I am now. I talk to her in “Crow” it’s our own language. “Cacawwww” is our special word.
Bath time is so much fun! I invented “-spa-” bath time, with a wet warm washcloth on her head and chest. She loves to suck on the washcloth.
This sketchbook is dedicated to only paintings and drawings of Mona. To keep the pressure off and to keep this fun, I don’t try to make the painting look like her. It’s a wonderful way to document all of her adorable outfits, her hats, and milestones — like her first tooth.
It makes me so happy to paint in this sketchbook.
We went to a park and she played in the sprinkler. She wore a special vintage dress that belonged to Sonya. It’s a bit big but since it stretches it’ll fit her for at least three years. Sonya’s godfather was a fashion designer. He made tons of dresses and hats out of cotton lycra for her. He died when she was four from AIDS. The green hat and the dress are 32 years old.
The green hat.
I imagine the day when Mona will sit in my lap and I will “-read-”my Mona sketch-book to her.
I hope I can keep this up. I don’t see why not. As long as I keep it fun, and it never feels forced or like “-work-” I should be just fine.
