Got Your Buttons Pushed by a Consulting Client? Here’s Why & How I Deal With It.
I wish I can be friends with everyone. Well. That is impossible, is it not?
I kid you not. I invest time in building relationships with my clients. It is part of the game.
Trust and collaboration do not come at the snap of a finger. We must prove to be worthy.
Given good relationships, consulting clients rush to my rescue when I need them.
- When I deliver low(er) quality work
- When I said something wrong
- When I missed my deadlines
The list goes on. And I return favors.
- I push back payment milestones
- I cover for work assigned to clients (if I can)
- I help solve their work-related problems outside of the consulting engagement
Clients and 1-Man consultants operate in a symbiotic relationship. Think crocodiles and the birds that scrap the stuck meat off the crocodile’s teeth. We are natural complements.
But…
There will always be exceptions. The crocodile does slam its jaws on the bird from time to time.
I Don’t Work Well With Everyone. And It May Be the Same for You.
I do not reference it in a social networking way. I refer to work.
There are natural personality mismatches in our workplace.
People who can or cannot work with each other. Many who try to but fail to do so.
Workplace leaders and Human Resource professionals try to nip the issue in the bud. They look to personality assessments as the Holy Grail solution to their problems.
It has given birth to a gigantic market.
The market for Personality Assessment Solutions is projected to hit $16,461.43 million by 2028.
InsightPartners believe this market will grow at a compounded annual rate of 12.1% from 2021 to 2028. It is a big business.
But I think it takes more than a personality assessment to resolve workplace compatibility issues. It is not surprising.
Many companies have all future employees take the same personality assessments as entry criteria. Yet, how many times have we heard the following?
“I left because I cannot bring myself to work with John. What an arsehole.”
Experience Tells Me Consulting Clients Are Not Obliged to Like Us
There are 2 possibilities.
The first one has to do with the nature of our work. Regardless of the industry and niche, 1-Man consultants are out to initiate change.
Change in business processes.
Best practice benchmarking.
Technology adaptation.
It makes consulting clients uncomfortable. I get that. No one in their right mind wants to be told that they are outdated and uncompetitive.
You will not like it if you are in that position. Put yourself in your clients’ shoes.
From that perspective, client empathy is the unspoken job description of 1-Man consultants. It is not in our job description.
It is a professional expectation. That means they may blow at you on a bad day.
And then there is the age-old personality mismatch issue. We will bump into our natural nemesis every now and then.
You know them. Such consulting clients pop out like weeds. Frequently.
And the funny thing is… we know exactly who they are.
We just know.
Irreconcilable Differences Have Nothing to Do with the Consulting Engagement. Not One Bit.
Why do our consulting clients talk over us?
There are many reasons.
They want to get their points across. Quickly. Before they forget.
Clients think you are spitting crap. They cut in and move the conversation.
Why do we feel offended when we get interrupted abruptly?
Because we got interrupted. Duh. It is rude. And you sense a lack of respect.
Because the flow of our presentation is destroyed. Our ideas are not elaborated on in full. It appears piecemeal.
And you hate it. I know. Because we are 1-Man consultants. We live to paint the big picture!
We are close, but not quite. Ask yourself these questions and be honest.
Are you genuinely offended whenever someone interrupts you?
Or.
Are you always offended when a certain someone starts talking?
I bet it is the latter. I know because it happens to me all the time.
What Can We Do In the Heat of the Moment?
I know many mindfulness gurus preach the following.
Relax. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Count to 10.
We need to be contextual. It does not work in a confrontational situation. The consulting client who is ready to eat you alive isn’t going to let you take deep breaths.
Be practical.
Let me share how I deal with unnecessary and unproductive alpha behavior.
Suppose I am presenting a PowerPoint, and I am at slide # 12. My nemesis interrupts out of the blue and blabbers on non-stop.
I will pause and let Mr. Nemesis continue.
When Mr. Nemesis is done, I politely ask him (or her) to continue.
“You have really interesting points. Please go on.”
When Mr. Nemesis is done, I give him (or her) the same treatment. And I will repeat N times. I will pretend to scribble notes all this while.
Mr. Nemesis eventually explodes.
“You are the consultant. WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR SOLUTIONS?”
At this junction, beautiful things happen.
- Mr. Nemesis’s colleagues will see that he is rude to me.
- Ms. Enemy’s team members can tell he is being partial to my questions.
- Mr. Adversary’s supervisors can see what goes on during consulting engagement meetings.
When an unnecessary confrontation occurs, you want witnesses. And then, no matter what happens, stay cucumber chill.
Another tip.
Do not take 1-to-1 calls with natural adversaries. Converse via emails. Always leave a digital trail. Because people do spin stories.
You want to protect yourself from these spinners.
And then, attack back when it counts.
“Remember that meeting? I wasn’t particularly hostile to anyone. I was just trying to ferret out good ideas from the team.”
Parting Keynotes
Yes, we get to choose our consulting clients. That is true.
However, there are times when we misjudge the person standing in front of us. How many initial-besties-subsequently-turned-enemies do you have?
I have many.
We are humans, after all. We get emotional. Our adversaries are skilled at finding such buttons and then pressing them non-stop.
What you can do is treat them like balloons. Puff hot air up their ass. Keep asking them questions so they can speak their mind.
Stand by a needle by the side.
Prick them when they are tired. Such clients will explode in front of everyone.
As a content contributor, I write my observations from daily life and my business exposure. Because our life experience is the bedrock of our unique perspectives.
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