Gossiping With Jeffrey Epstein About the Presidents

Summary

An inmate at MCC Federal Prison recounts personal anecdotes shared by Jeffrey Epstein about Donald Trump and Bill Clinton.

Abstract

The narrative unfolds in July 2019, where the author, an inmate at MCC Federal Prison, is tasked with overseeing the suicide watch, including monitoring Jeffrey Epstein. Despite Epstein's infamous reputation, the author befriends him due to his intellect and education, which stand out among the prison population. During their conversations, the author asks Epstein for anecdotes about Donald Trump and Bill Clinton. Epstein recalls a flight with Trump where they declined to land in Atlantic City, with Trump jokingly referring to the local population as "white trash." Regarding Clinton, Epstein describes an incident in Shanghai where Clinton made a lewd comment about an attractive woman they passed. The author also touches on Epstein's denial of Clinton's involvement with underage girls on his island, emphasizing that Epstein only lied to him once, leading him to believe Clinton was not a pedophile.

Opinions

The author views Epstein as an intellectual peer despite his crimes, indicating a prison culture where the severity of one's crimes is secondary to shared interests or intellect.
Epstein's anecdotes portray Trump as self-deprecating and flirtatious, and Clinton as having a robust sexual appetite, although Epstein avoids directly confirming Clinton's sexual behavior.
The author seems to take Epstein's word at face value regarding Clinton's preferences, suggesting a level of trust or naivety in the face of Epstein's known propensity for lying.
The author implies a level of camaraderie and mutual understanding with Epstein, which allows for candid conversations about the former presidents.
There is a hint of skepticism or criticism towards the author's own question about Clinton's sexual activities, as if acknowledging the inappropriaten

Best Clinton and Trump anecdotes

Library of Congress on Unsplash

It’s 7 PM sometime in late July, 2019. I’ve just finished one shift working in the kitchen at MCC Federal Prison — and am about to start my second down at suicide watch. I’m the Inmate Companion Coordinator for MCC. And that means I’m in charge of scheduling and assigning four hour shifts to other inmates who earn between 12 and 40 cents an hour to watch their suicidal brothers. I know who’s down there from the bubble officer. I’ll be watching Jeffrey Epstein one on one for the next four hours. I also know there are no other suicidal inmates in the unit. We’ll be all alone.

Jeffrey has become one of my best friends in the prison. I know. He’s a skank pedophile. But he also has an education (an academic one) and a brain. Which makes him unique within the prison population. When you’re locked up, you tend to disregard other inmates’ charges. Everybody’s a criminal. Get over it. Plus Jeffrey doesn’t act like a pervert. He’s too busy worrying about how to deal with the other prisoners to think about having sex with underage girls.

I’ve taken to structuring my shift with Jeffrey. Before descending, I actually think about what we’re going to discuss. Could be escorts (I ran an advertising agency for NYC prostitutes). Could be investments. Often, it turns to how he’s not gonna get extorted or have his ass handed to him by the other prisoners.

Once seated — and Jeffrey sitting side saddle on the toilet in his cell so we can see and hear each other, I hit him with my reporter type question.

“Ok, Jeffrey. Give me one anecdote that’s emblematic of Donald Trump’s essence,” I ask in my best investigative journalist voice. He bites.

Without thinking for even a second, Jeffrey answers “we’re on my private plane flying from New York to Florida. It’s just me, Donald and a French girl I brought along. Donald says ‘why don’t we land in Atlantic City so I can show your friend my casino?’ And I answer no way. There’s nothing but white trash down there. The French girl asks ‘what is white trash? I don’t understand.’ And Donald says ‘it’s me without money.’”

I’m not a big Trump fan. But at least, he’s able to make fun of himself. Or at least he was on one occasion during which he wanted to flirt with Jeffrey’s girl.

But Jeffrey isn’t finished. My question got him going. “Now Bill Clinton,” he continues. “We were walking down the street in Shanghai when a really pretty Asian girl walks by us going in the opposite direction.

Bill turns to me and says ‘that girl makes my dick harder than Chinese arithmetic.’” Nice. Sounds par for the course to me.

In a different conversation (and on a different night), Jeffrey said something of significance with regards to whether Clinton diddled underage girls while on Jeffrey’s island paradise.

Mostly, I didn’t ask rude or adolescent questions of Epstein. It didn’t seem appropriate given the circumstances. But one night, I hit him with “so when was the last time Bill fucked Hillary?” pretty much out of nowhere — so Jeffrey wouldn’t be ready to issue a paid political announcement.

He did not answer the question, but rather just gave me an incredulous look that said “Mersey! I thought you were better than that.” I switched gears. “Is Clinton as big a horn dog as people would have you believe?” Again, he begged off on the answer but offered “Bill’s had a lot of heart surgery. That part of his life is over.”

And then I hit him with the zinger: “Was Clinton into young girls?” It was the one and only time I ever made reference to pedophilism in any way during all our hours together. His answer was quick and emphatic: “No! Bill liked his women mature.”

I believe him. Jeffrey only lied to me once. And when he did, I could tell immediately. Take it from an old streetwise inmate. Bill Clinton did not have pedophile tendencies.