Gorging at the Smorgasbord of Life

Retirement is great, but I’m having a bit of existential bloating

“You’re actually retiring?” My work colleague arched an eyebrow. “What in the world will you do all day?”

Ouch. That’s always the question, isn’t it?

After decades of dedication to this thing called a career, I was cashing in my chips. The thought was at once thrilling and terrifying.

Without the 9-to–5, my days would be formless. Sure, dumping my daily diet of deadlines would be heavenly, but in exchange for what?

Hmmm, let’s see. Read a book? Go to lunch? Play pickleball? Organize the spices? Trace the family tree? Clean behind the refrigerator? Learn pottery? Make a pie? Walk the dog?

Psychologists have a name for this: Overchoice. It’s the difficulty you experience when trying to make a decision with too many options.

Ironically, the people of the future may suffer not from an absence of choice, but from a paralyzing surfeit of it. They may turn out to be the victims of that peculiar super-industrial dilemma: “Overchoice.”

— Alvin Toffler, Future Shock, 1970

For some, too much choice results in “analysis paralysis,” or no choice at all. Instead, try looking at it this way:

Life is a smorgasbord. There’s a wide variety of dishes to discover. If you’re retired, you’re the one who gets to decide what you’ll put on your plate to nourish your life.

How to choose? Belly up to the buffet and follow these tips:

1. Use the right tools.

You’re not going to wolf down your meal with your bare hands, are you? You need a fork when eating; you’ll need a time management system when retiring.

The idea of planning your time in retirement may seem counter intuitive. But giving structure to your days offers a pattern and focus. Writing it down helps you figure out what’s most important.

The system you use is up to you. There are computer apps like Outlook, traditional day planners, and even sticky notes could work.

2. Aim for balanced nutrition.

If you were a teenager, you’d load up on pizza and fries. But you’re wiser, and know your body needs the right balance of nutrients.

At the retirement smorgasbord, you need the right balance of values.

Curious about yours? Take the VIA Survey. It’s a free test that measures your traits in a variety of areas, ranging from bravery and creativity to leadership and spirituality.

When you discover your values, you can work toward your goals and feel more grounded. For example, my top value was “Love of Learning,” so writing, reading and researching are part of my regular retirement routine.

3. Take a sampler plate.

You’re no longer at the snooty French restaurant, where you’re expected to stay in your seat and finish your damn snails.

At the retirement smorgasbord, you’re encouraged to roam around and try new tastes.

Not sure you’d like the fried octopus or chicken biryani? No worries. You can always go back to your tried-and-true favorites.

This is the time to break free. Be creative and discover something new. Studies show retirees who cultivate creativity lead happier lives!

4. Your tray has little compartments. Use them.

It’s tempting to go overboard at the retirement smorgasbord. Some continue to pack their days with back-to-back activities.

Let’s get real. Even toddlers know their peas shouldn’t touch their mashed potatoes.

Aim for some buffer. Having a free hour or two allows for exploration, spontaneity, and pleasant surprises.

What makes a fire burn is the space between the logs, a breathing space. Too much of a good thing, too many logs packed in too tight, can douse the flames almost as surely as a pail of water would.

— Excerpt from “Fire” by Judy Brown

5. Pace yourself.

For me, retiring felt like the first day of summer break. Ice cream for breakfast! Cheetos for lunch! Shopping all day! Netflix all night!

Warning: Existential bloating isn’t pretty. Slow down. The beauty of retirement is there’s always tomorrow.

You’ve spent years piling your plate with responsibilities and obligations. Now’s the time to savor the fruits of your labors (not to mention, the vegetables, meats, salads, breads, desserts…)

Bon Appetit!