Good Times on the Stair Mistress with Burt Reynolds and Kevin Bacon

I avoid the sun these days because I’m trying to avoid passing out another time from walking the dog in increasing heat and sun exposure.

We have an old-school Stairmaster in the living room now. I call it a Stair Mistress because it makes the machine sound like a dominatrix.

My partner, Beth, brought the Stair Mistress back to our house from where she was storing it in her friend’s garage. It takes up half the living room and is situated so it’s possible to watch TV while a person works out — as long as reading small text or translations across the room is not required.

Without ongoing distractions trudging along on the Stair Mistress is way too tedious. I’ve always been like this about exercise machines. When I belonged to a gym in my former years, I always brought books or magazines to read while I climbed stairs or ran on a treadmill.

I stopped going to gyms when I got cancer and kept avoiding them during Covid because they seemed germy and dirty.

I’ve never gone back.

Now we have this Stair Mistress in our house, and I can keep getting six miles per day of equivalent steps while the dog sleeps at my feet.

It’s also not the kind of structure a person can easily fall from. I wear heavy tennis shoes, stopping when I need to pause movies or a TV series or grab more water, use the bathroom, or change the show.

Initially, I started to watch 70s and 80s films I’d never seen before like Roadhouse with Patrick Swayze, and Smokey and the Bandit with Burt Reynolds and Sally Field. Both movies were entertaining and required zero brain engagement so I could space out and forget I was climbing mechanical stairs.

I forgot how short Patrick Swayze was because he had seemed tall enough in Dirty Dancing when he was opposite Jennifer Grey who is even shorter. I’ll probably watch that cheesy movie later in the summer.

I still love Patrick Swayze’s line Nobody puts baby in a corner.

I started to watch a couple of series, including Succession, supposedly about the Murdoch family. I disliked it for the same reaasons I didn’t like House of Cards unappealing, though I watched way too many episodes with Beth because she loved the show. Why would I want to watch shows that center around corrupt and murderous power brokers?

Too close to life.

Often Beth and my viewing tastes diverge. I adored Breaking Bad. She thought it was way too violent. We make compromises when it involves watching movies or trying a new show. I’ve watched obscure Russian films with her, which I often end up liking, and she has watched classic indie films with me, particularly John Cassavetes’ films, which Beth has come to appreciate over the years.

All of that has nothing to do with the Stair Mistress. One caveat — other than watching TV while I’m engaged in a repetitive exercise experience. I hardly ever watch TV unless I’m watching with Beth or a friend.

I chose Mona Lisa Eyes to watch the other day, and my stepdaughter sat down nearby to watch it with me. It starred Julia Roberts and had some great up-and-coming stars like Kristen Dunst, Julia Stiles, and Maggie Gyllenhall. It was slightly Pollyanna but not half bad.

I’ve watched a few more films, a recent one called Wildflower, a coming-of-age story about a young woman embarrassed and inspired by her two intellectually disabled parents, who are supportive of her leaving home to attend college despite her sense of questionable commitment to remain home to take care of them. She faces her fears, falls in love, and won’t allow anything to stop her.

Tomorrow I intend to watch the final section of Footloose for the first time. Maybe climbing mechanical steps will start to feel like Kevin Bacon’s dancing.