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with blank expressions. Apparently, the CEO’s outfit was nothing unusual.</p><p id="5e84">“If you’re hired,” Klemek began, “you will be selling two of my favorite things door-to-door. Ice cream and cats.”</p><p id="cbad">I got the job, but it didn’t go too well. I only made it to one house. As I tried to return Nigel to the cat caddy, Skittles, Snickers, and Sir Purrington escaped. I managed to round them up again, but while I was at it, the neighborhood kids stole all my ice cream.</p><p id="b4a8">Needless to say, I was fired.</p><p id="e66b">I wrote this for Short and Weird’s February prompt. It is based on this painting by <a href="undefined">Ryan Klemek</a>:</p><figure id="b481"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*FVVPqFr3Wfeiyp2hsjoABQ.png"><figcaption><b>Office V-Day Surprise</b> — 2004 Watercolor on paper by Ryan Klemek</figcaption></figure><p id="0113">Here are the prompt details.</p><div id="553b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/valentines-daze-4ce6b91f392a"> <div> <div> <h2>Valentine’s Daze</h2> <div><h3>February 2024 Newsletter!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*s77kBjQFcculMJ1EFVLxbw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div>

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     </a>
    </div><p id="5c14">Here’s Ryan’s own entry:</p><div id="dcec" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/love-cuts-like-broken-glass-1a17197d8a95">
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          <div>
            <h2>Love Cuts Like Broken Glass</h2>
            <div><h3>Thankless romantic gestures and their consequences</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*sno2qhtM9_azP7o33hvNmA.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><p id="c9df">And a multi-prompt entry from <a href="undefined">Ann James</a>:</p><div id="a1c1" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/dino-might-smile-and-laugh-while-im-tied-to-the-clothesline-pole-in-queensland-c87383edd544">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>Dino Might Smile and Laugh while I’m Tied to the Clothesline Pole in Queensland</h2>
            <div><h3>Mark, AWC Furious Fiction and Ryan’s February Prompts all in one</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*tmWHAKMzu66vVxmy)"></div>
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SHORT & WEIRD | FEBRUARY PROMPT

Good Morning, Sir. Do You Like Cats and Ice Cream?

Some things just sell themselves

My new job seemed so promising. No sales experience necessary. — Image created with Stable Diffusion AI and GIMP

The other day, I went to a weird job interview. When I arrived, the receptionist sent me to a conference room where a few other applicants and a woman from H.R. were seated around a table.

“Welcome! Help yourself to some coffee and donuts while we wait for our CEO, Ryan Klemek, to show up.”

A few minutes later, the plate glass window shattered, and a guy wearing nothing but red bikini underwear and fake angel wings tumbled in. During his dramatic entrance, one of the other applicants was either killed or knocked out cold. I still don’t know which.

Handing me a heart-shaped box, Klemek said, “These are for everybody.”

Assuming it was chocolate, I removed the lid and set the box down in the center of the table. It was filled with deviled eggs. Gross.

“Oh, I get it,” I said. “It’s almost Valentine’s Day!”

Both Klemek and his H.R. lady looked back at me with blank expressions. Apparently, the CEO’s outfit was nothing unusual.

“If you’re hired,” Klemek began, “you will be selling two of my favorite things door-to-door. Ice cream and cats.”

I got the job, but it didn’t go too well. I only made it to one house. As I tried to return Nigel to the cat caddy, Skittles, Snickers, and Sir Purrington escaped. I managed to round them up again, but while I was at it, the neighborhood kids stole all my ice cream.

Needless to say, I was fired.

I wrote this for Short and Weird’s February prompt. It is based on this painting by Ryan Klemek:

Office V-Day Surprise — 2004 Watercolor on paper by Ryan Klemek

Here are the prompt details.

Here’s Ryan’s own entry:

And a multi-prompt entry from Ann James:

Weird Fiction
Humor
Short Fiction
Valentines Day
Prompt
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