Goldfish For Trump

Summary

The article describes a goldfish owner's amusing perspective on their pet's apparent support for Donald Trump, highlighting the owner's own political leanings and the perceived intelligence of the goldfish.

Abstract

The author humorously recounts their goldfish's enthusiastic response to Donald Trump's appearances on Fox News, suggesting the fish's change in color and excited behavior as signs of political allegiance. The owner, who enjoys watching Trump coverage while wearing a MAGA hat and surrounded by assault rifles, admires the former president's legal battles and dismisses the significance of the court cases against him. The article also references a YouTube video that claims goldfish are intelligent, leading the owner to rename their pet "Donald Junior" in honor of Trump. The owner fantasizes about the goldfish joining Trump for golf and jokes about the fish's preference for a Big Mac and Coke over traditional fish food, drawing a parallel between the goldfish's dietary desires and Trump's well-known tastes.

Opinions

The goldfish owner is a supporter of Donald Trump, as indicated by their viewing habits, attire, and the company they keep (assault rifles, MAGA hat).
The owner believes the goldfish has shown support for Trump by turning orange and swimming excitedly whenever Trump appears on TV.
There is a dismissive attitude towards the legal issues surrounding Trump, with the owner questioning the authority of judges and suggesting that bending rules is inherent to the presidency.
The owner values YouTube as a source of "reliable news" over traditional media, which they consider to be dishonest.
The goldfish is humorously described as a "very stable genius," mimicking a phrase Trump used to describe himself.
The owner expresses a desire for the goldfish to partake in activities they associate with Trump, such as playing golf and enjoying fast food.
The text is written with a satirical tone, poking fun at the owner's unwavering support for Trump and the anthropomorphization of the goldfish's behavior and preferences.

Mighty Are Goldfish Again

Yes, my goldfish has come off the fence, or whatever goldfish sit on, and shown his political colours. You have got to admire his dedication, even turning orange to emulate his hero.

Whenever former President Trump comes on my favourite TV channel (Fox News — is there any other?), he starts swimming at high speed round his bowl to show how excited he is, almost jumping out of the water.

I just love watching them both during the coverage of the latest court hearing, sitting on the sofa with my collection of assault rifles, in my favourite MAGA hat.

I forget which hearing it was. as I think there may have been more than one. Was it bribing the porn star, the Top Secret documents, or the intimidation of election officials and encouraging a riot, I can’t remember? Who do these judges think they are? Experts, who needs them, after all. What’s the point of being President if you can’t bend the rules a little?

I saw something the other day on YouTube, my favourite source of reliable news, since the press are all liars, saying how intelligent goldfish are, and this clearly proves my favourite fish is a very stable genius, that he knows who would make the best next president. I have decided to rename him: Gary the Goldfish was wearing a bit thin, so he is now “Donald Junior”.

It’s just a shame he can’t play golf, as I am sure he would love to join the subject of his adoration for a few rounds at Mar-a-Largo, and they could then go and have a good laugh at Donald Senior’s collection, his secret stache of “Top Secret” paperwork that the investigator’s missed in the 19th hole. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Most of us have brought work home sometimes.

I guess it is time to feed Donald Junior again. I bet he gets fed up with his usual fish food and would much prefer a good Big Mac and supersize Coke like his hero.