Summary

The article humorously contrasts the desirable "going viral" with the more common and less glamorous "going spiral," a term coined by the author to describe a state of stagnation and lack of recognition in creative endeavors.

Abstract

The concept of "going spiral" is introduced as a satirical take on the more coveted "going viral." It reflects the reality for many writers and creatives who, despite their efforts, do not achieve widespread success or financial gain. The author, Mike, uses rationalization to cope with this, claiming to write for personal joy and community engagement rather than fame or money. The article also pokes fun at the unrealistic expectations of success in writing, particularly with longer pieces or less popular genres like poetry. It suggests that embracing the "spiral" may be more realistic than chasing viral fame, and it humorously advises on how to continue creating in the face of obscurity.

Opinions

The author believes that most creatives will not achieve significant wealth or fame from their work and must find other sources of fulfillment.
Rationalization is seen as a defense mechanism to protect one's self-esteem in the face of limited success.
Writing for joy, reader reaction, and community is valued more highly than writing for viral success.
The author has a cynical view of the potential for poetry and other niche writings to be financially successful in the current media landscape.
Longer, more thoughtful pieces are implied to be less likely to go viral, suggesting a preference for brevity in popular content.
The article suggests that relying solely on the quality of one's writing without flashy multimedia elements is a path that may lead to "going spiral."
The author playfully suggests that accepting the reality of "going spiral" can be liberating and may even lead to a form of contentment or satisfaction in one's creative work.

SATIRE

Going Spiral — Just Like “Going Viral” Only WAY Worse!

Circling the drain

Everyone knows about the joys of “going viral.”

Many of us aspire to it. The rush of massive success or notoriety, often achieved overnight with the help of social media, must be intoxicating.

I’ve not had the experience, but I can imagine.

How about the not-quite-so-fulfilling, but far more common and achievable goal of just endlessly circling the drain?

I’m calling it “going spiral.”

I’ve already copyrighted the phrase, thereby now having the potential of going viral. Heads up Urban Dictionary!

Here’s what “going spiral” looks like:

Rationalization

Realizing early on that the vast majority of us are not going to be rolling in the “Benjamins” as a result of our writing efforts (or any of our efforts for that matter) we use the popular defense mechanism, rationalization, to protect our fragile psyches.

I’ve always shielded my easily-wounded writer’s self by claiming I write for joy, reader reaction and community. “Reader reaction” is pretty easy for most to understand (although I really mean just laudatory reader reaction as in “ur great Mike!”). But “joy?” and “community?” WTF?!

This pleasant construct does serve to keep my nose to the grindstone, and I’ve been able to taper off most of my meds in the last few months.

Also, I can now walk in a perfect circle, blindfolded!

Slavish adherence to stuff you know won’t sell or make you popular

I’ve dabbled in poetry for fuck’s sake!

I’m no “algorithm-ist” but I think a haiku has to receive about 10 billion “reads” to generate 11 cents in the MPP.

Instead, go to any liquor store parking lot on a weekend morning and walk around. You’ll find more than that just laying there waiting to be scooped up. Then, once you’ve “earned” your daily bread, return home, pen another priceless poem and … continue spiraling.

Go long

Any story that takes longer than 237 seconds to SLOG through is guaranteed to keep you in the “going spiral” category. If it’s heartwarming, beautifully wrought, impactful or thought-provoking so much the finer. Prepare to get your swirl on.

Remember “if it’s yellow, it’s mellow; if it’s brown; flush it down?”

For writing, how about “if it’s long, that’s wrong; if it’s short, cavort.” You may be about to go viral!

Picture perfect!

https://i0.wp.com/www.votersopinion.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Image-is-everything1.png

Inserting a gif into one of your short (there’s that word again) stories — perhaps of a cat hugging a chicken while it plays the piano — virtually guaranteed to vault you into viral-ish-ious-ness.

Wanna spiral instead? Let your words do the talking and support them with a plain Jane pic.

My head was in a whirl. I feel so much better now. Thank you for listening.

Let me just pirouette out to the kitchen and back. Then I’ll start spinning another story.

Now we need a chemist to take on “going chiral.” He/she can explore the theme of dualism to his/her heart’s content.

That’ll be sure to spiral.