Going Blue

He knows I would die for him

You know I would die for you.

I would let you strangle me – all those guitar strings of your thoughts wrapped around my neck leaving their telltale marks like paper cuts from book pages we’ve read but couldn’t finish

I would let you strangle me if that would help you breathe silently hoping you’d notice the pain in my eyes (which I’m closing) and help me

You know I would die for you breathless while you’re desperately tearing the stitches one after another and I keep fixing them – the first followed by… the first again

And I’m silently hoping you’d notice the pain in my voice (when I’m not speaking) but I can’t tell you to stop ‘cause when the pain is here it means you’re here with me

And finally my trembling fingers cannot find the needle anymore to make the first stitch for the thousandth time – I heard it tinkle somewhere at our feet

and the sterile thread of green strangulates my veins –

I’m going blue and you’re holding me

oh, you’re holding me and I’m going blue

You know I would die for you.

April 2021