Summary

The "God Bless the USA" Bible is a forthcoming publication that combines the Christian scripture with American patriotic documents and symbols, scheduled for release on September 11, 2021, amidst critical satire regarding its concept.

Abstract

The "God Bless the USA" Bible is a unique compilation that integrates the Holy Bible with key American historical and patriotic texts, including The Pledge of Allegiance, The US Constitution, The Declaration of Independence, and The Bill of Rights. It is designed with a leather cover, dual ribbon markers, and features the American flag on its front. The product is marketed towards Christian nationalists and is priced at $49.99, with a satirical tone used to highlight the perceived absurdity of equating American patriotism with divine favoritism. The author of the web content expresses clear opposition to the idea that God would favor one nation over others, emphasizing that true Christian faith is inclusive and rejects notions of racial or national superiority.

Opinions

The author uses satire to criticize the concept of the "God Bless the USA" Bible, suggesting it inappropriately conflates American nationalism with divine approval.
The inclusion of American founding documents alongside the Bible is presented as an implication that they are of equal, divine inspiration.
The product's release date, coinciding with the 20th anniversary of the September 11 attacks, is seen as a provocative statement against Islam.
The dual ribbon markers, one blue and one red, are mocked as a superficial way to link biblical teachings with American civic values.
The author explicitly states opposition to the idea that God would favor one nation or group over another, calling it repulsive and contrary to the inclusive message of the Bible.
The article emphasizes that the Biblical narrative promotes God's love for all people, regardless of nationality or background, and criticizes the notion of American Christians as a chosen people.

God Bless the American Bible

Coming soon to all good Christian nationalistic book providers

Image by By hidesy on Shutterstock (purchased with license)

Looking for the ultimate gift for your Christian nationalist friends? Look no further than the “God Bless the USA” Bible — due to be released this September. You can pre-order your copy now.

The “God Bless the USA” Bible not only contains the very word of God. It also includes the founding documents of the USA — like The Pledge of Allegiance, The US Constitution, The Declaration of Independence, and The Bill of Rights — in an easy-to-read format.

Let’s face it, the USA Constitution is really a divinely ordained document bestowing God’s special blessing on this particular corner of the world and deserves to sit between the same leather-bound cover as the very words of Almighty God, right? Two God-inspired documents conveniently in one book! How good!

And if you’ve ever wanted to pour over the Bill of Rights immediately after reading the Gospel of Mark, then you’ll be chuffed by the fact that the “God Bless the USA” Bible comes with two ribbon markers — one blue and one red, of course. You could conveniently bookmark Mark 12:17: “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s” with one ribbon, and place the other in the First Amendment to the US Constitution: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.”

But that’s not all. The “God Bless the USA” Bible comes complete with the lyrics of Lee Greenwood’s hit song, ‘God Bless America,’ just in case you need another reminder that the USA is God’s country. Here’s a refresher on those lyrics in case you don’t know who the hell Lee Greenwood is:

If tomorrow all the things were gone I worked for all my life And I had to start again With just my children and my wife

I thank my lucky stars To be living here today ’Cause the flag still stands for freedom And they can’t take that away

And I’m proud to be an American Where at least I know I’m free

Because the people in Europe or Canada or Australia or Japan aren’t really free, are they?

Oh, and speaking of ‘the flag that stands for freedom,’ you’ll find one boldly emblazoned on the front of the “God Bless the USA” Bible just in case you were left with any doubt that the blessings of God and the blessings of being a citizen of the USA are inexplicably linked — married if you will — in a completely heteronormative sense, of course.

In a move sure to subdue the fires of anti-Islamic sentiment among conservative Evangelicals, the “God Bless the USA” Bible is due to be released on September 11, 2021, to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the day that evil Muslims leveled the symbol of our white, nationalistic pride and capitalism. Ha! Take that, Muslims!

You can own your very own copy for only $49.99. At that price, why not buy two — one for the house and one for the car? You never know when you’ll need reminding of the divine favor of God on this great nation and you personally— as a citizen thereof.

Get your copy — or copies — today!

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to read the Declaration of Independence followed by Revelation 22:18 — the part of the Bible that says anyone who adds to the words of the Bible will be cursed.

Before you go ahead and crucify me, what you just read is purely satirical. I hope this is obvious, but I wanted to say it explicitly because in no way, shape or form, do I support the “God Bless America” Bible conceptually or otherwise.

In fact, I find any suggestion that God favors one nation or people or group over another completely repulsive. When the look at the Biblical narrative as a whole, you observe the grace of God extended to people of all nations in ever-increasing circles — starting in the Old Testament where God sends a reluctant prophet Jonah to a pagan people who Jews generally despised, and culminating in a prophetic vision given to the apostle Peter in the book of Acts revealing, in no uncertain terms, that God is for all people.

The Jews at the time believed that they were the chosen people of God, but they didn’t realize what they were chosen for — to be the vehicle of God’s plan for his all-inclusive love to extend to the far corners of the earth to people of every tribe, tongue, and nation. The same is true today of American Christians.

Racial superiority and Christian nationalism have no place in true Christian faith. God is indiscriminately a God for everyone.

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