Go Away

Summary

The text describes an internal struggle with personal demons that torment the author with regrets and insecurities, challenging their sanity and resilience.

Abstract

The author of the text vividly portrays an intense psychological battle with inner demons. These entities are depicted as malevolent forces that relentlessly remind them of past regrets, mistakes, and the passage of time, attempting to seduce them into madness. The demons are personified as voices that highlight every misstep and hurtful action, eroding the author's self-assurance and will to persevere. Despite recognizing these voices as mere figments of their imagination, their growing strength leaves the author exhausted from constant resistance. The text concludes with a poignant question about the author's identity should these demons ever depart, suggesting a deep-seated fear of losing oneself in the process of overcoming these internal adversaries.

Opinions

The author perceives their inner demons as real entities that are maliciously intent on causing psychological harm.
There is a sense of weariness and a struggle to maintain hope and sanity in the face of relentless self-criticism and regret.
The demons are seen as seducers, luring the author towards insanity by amplifying feelings of failure and unworthiness.
The author acknowledges the inevitability of aging and the dissolution of dreams, indicating a sense of loss and disillusionment.
There is an underlying fear that defeating these demons might lead to a loss of self, as the battle with them has become a core part of the author's identity.

Go Away

There are demons in my head. They scratch and scrabble and scream my regrets. What I coulda, shoulda, woulda done. If only I had known.

If only…

They chortle and coax and cajole. Pretending they are my friends. When all the while, they are seducing me. Seducing me into madness.

Into believing that I am mad…

“You are not young anymore,” they shriek. As if I don’t know that time stands still for no one. As if I don’t know that my dreams are dissolving. As surely as my resolve to keep fighting, to “hang in there.”

They are beyond evil…

My demons remind me of ever misstep. Every hurtful word, every stupid deed. That my foolish self has committed. To those I love, and who, in return, love me.

They want me to hurt myself…

I tell myself there is no such thing as demons. They are just voices in my head and I can make them go away. But they are getting stronger by the day, the hour. And I am weary of fending them off, yet the question looms —

If and when they go, will I, too, be gone?