Life Lessons/Lifestyle/ Self
Giving People Second Chances Taught Me Life Lessons
Second chance can work; however, my four experiences with others were terrible. Ignorance and stupidity often put people in the grave. Not me anymore. Learn good lessons from my experience.
No more second chances for others. But I can give myself a million chances. And you do the same.
Life lesson.
Giving people second chances taught me good life lessons and practical life skills.
Now, I promise never to gamble with my time, energy, or money. My life is more important than giving people and things a second or third chance.
Giving people second chances taught me good Lessons. Here are my four experiences and lessons.
I.
I gave my third husband, Harry, a second chance when he cheated on me with my roommate, and I married him. Not only did I marry him, but after six months of cheating with my roommate, I had a child with him. You are right, an anchor baby.
During our ten years of marriage, I suspected Harry cheated as much as he wanted, but I never caught him red-handed.
Then on our eleventh anniversary, he was furious and verbally abusive because I caught him kissing my daughter’s soccer coach. He filed for divorce the day after. They live together now and are planning to get married soon.
Lessons
Self-belief matters.
Believe what people do the first time and question your positive interpretation of their bad behavior.
II.
I loaned my car to my neighbor, Dora, for a long-distance trip. When she returned, she never put gas in it and did not clean the vehicle.
I gave her a second chance and lent her my evening gown. She ruined it and casually said, “I’ll pay for it.” I asked her to go and buy the dress. She went and returned after a few weeks and told me she could not find the dress and asked me how much I had paid for the dress. I sent her the receipt. She texted, “Are you sure this is the receipt?’’
I sent her the invoice from the store, including the picture of the dress. She accused me of elitism but paid through her nose. I lost my beautiful dress because I couldn’t find that dress again.
Lessons
Respect and value yourself.
Today, I understand the second chance better because it’s a game of chances since I can’t predict the outcome.
All these people took advantage of me because I gave them second chances, and then occurred to me that I didn’t value myself as I valued them.
Now, I know — self-belief matters.
III.
My former classmate, Lucy, promised to give me a ride home and asked me to wait for her to finish her lab test. I did, and she came out and told me she couldn’t t do it because she did not have enough gas. That day I got home after 9 pm.
I gave her a second chance and went shopping with her. She stole one of my purchases, a pair of red underwear, and denied it when I could see them in her transparent shopping bag.
Lessons
People are different. Get to know yourself and others before friendship.
Trust yourself and let others trust themselves. When we trust ourselves more, people are less likely to manipulate us.
IV.
The last straw was when a relative borrowed money to start a business, promising to pay it back in three years, and they did not.
He returned and cried for help because his daughter had a health emergency. This time, I tested him and lent him one-third of his request.
I waited for a year before I asked him to refund my money. Hell broke loose, and he insulted me at a family holiday party. And his wife and teen daughter told me how heartless I was to ask for the money back. They accused me of having an easy life.
Yes, it was my fault, ignorance, and stupidity.
Now.
I’m laughing and enjoying my fabulous life with real friends, my daughter, and my beautiful dog, Chase.
Lessons
Let go of your feelings— know and understand your friends, relatives, and community. Borrowing money rarely works in many families and communities.
Take it from me, don’t mix pleasure with business. If you have enough money, give it to your relatives instead of borrowing — a cent or a few hundred dollars.
You’re not a bank.
When they show you who they are, believe them. Do not overthink, analyze, or pity talkers and takers.
Help yourself grow.