Give Yourself Permission

It’s time to stop waiting for someone to give you the green light.

Have you ever had an idea that made your body quake with excitement?

Whether that idea was backpacking across Asia after graduation, starting an impactful business to replace your 9–5, or writing a fiction novel with bestselling potential — we’ve all had them.

And while the few-and-far in-between “doers” of the world give fuel to their ideas, the majority of “dreamers” watch theirs float away quicker than the thought entered.

Why do some people go for it, while the rest long for it?

Spoiler alert: there’s no special gene that the ambitious doers have.

They simply give themselves permission to believe in their ideas and take the necessary action that follows.

This is the difficult part; the part that we actively have to work at.

Let’s go back to the beginning…

From the moment we enter this world, we are gifted with an invisible blueprint of how to live. The blueprint maps it all out for us so that we don’t even have to think about what to do in our respective lives.

Go ahead and thank society for that one.

The blueprint shows us how to behave and speak to be accepted by others.

It exposes us to the 5 societal sacraments (School, Family, Work, Retirement, and Death) we must follow to be deemed a worthy member.

It outlines the collective beliefs to follow…thus, we never have to question.

Convenient, right?

Unfortunately, the convenient “gift” teaches us to trust the outside world before we ever trust ourselves. This is what bridges the gap between doers and dreamers.

The key is trusting yourself

The only difference between doers and dreamers is that doers trust themselves. Don’t be fooled, these unicorns were given the same blueprint as you. The difference?

They trashed it.

Here’s the thing: humans have been conditioned to believe that all of the answers are outside of them. In reality, the answers are always within us. We just have to take the call.

When we come up with a groundbreaking idea, find ourselves seeking advice, or receive an incredible opportunity, the knee-jerk reaction is to seek justification — which is nothing more than a synonym for “permission.”

That justification takes many physical forms: family members, close friends, social media, and Google…just to name a few.

And while your mom and your best friend want nothing but the best for you, they will deliver their opinion of your situation through their own lens of perspective. Meaning, they’ll tell you what they would do if they were in your shoes. Did you notice the words that I emphasized in that sentence? It’s important!

Nobody knows what’s best for you better than….well, you. And as we constantly seek justification from the world, our brain learns to ignore the eager voice on the inside.

The voice of the soul.

But, the doer?

If a doer wants to backpack across Asia after graduating, they strum up a proactive savings plan & budget while piecing the itinerary together.

If a doer has a business idea with the potential to replace their 9–5, they schedule their time efficiently to be more productive day in and day out.

If a bestselling story pops into a doer’s head, they cozy up with their laptop and start typing away.

And they don’t wait for anyone’s permission slip.

People-pleasing holds you back

At the root of seeking outer justification comes an inner need to people-please.

People-pleasing is draining, and it comes in many different forms. Some say yes when they want to say no, while others act a certain way to feel accepted by the people around them.

A lot of individuals don’t want to admit it, but we care about what other people think of us. There’s no shame in coming to grips with this fact, it’s human. But, we often let this commonality hold us hostage when it comes to going against the blueprint.

You must give yourself permission to follow your intuition and live life on your own terms, no matter what anyone says.

Fear is crippling

Making the choice to trust yourself and follow your intuition is the most liberating thing you can do for yourself.

It can also be scary as hell.

Your loved ones will question and criticize you. Outsiders will judge you in envy of your unwavering confidence. It’s terrifying to be the unpopular opinion.

Keep giving yourself permission to be the odd one out. Every time you’re the odd one out, you take a stand for yourself — your dreams, aspirations, and desires. At the end of the day, this is all that matters.

Give yourself permission

At the end of the day, life is about giving yourself permission to follow your dreams and ideas — no matter how messy the journey looks, no matter what anyone else says.

Following an unconventional path and going against the societal blueprint can be difficult at first. You no longer have outside justification to support your choices; you give yourself permission now. You may lose relationships, friendships, stable work environments, past interests, and more. It’s uncomfortable to stay in situations that you’ve outgrown in the pursuit of your truest life.

Most people would rather remain complacent and comfortable than take a risk on what could bring massive joy into their life due to the initial discomfort. Understand this: you won’t ever know how your ideas and dreams will unfold if you keep them tucked away in your brain, staying in the same tight boxes you’ve outgrown.

Get comfortable with the unknown. The braver you are, the luckier you get.