Give Yourself Love First

Love yourself first, and everything else falls into place

I walked home from the Little League game alone with my head down. The game ended when I stood frozen and flat-footed as a savvy shortstop picked me off second base.

“I’ll never be good at anything.”

“I am such a loser.”

There was a time when that type of self-talk was typical for me. Whenever I faced adversity, my self-talk would turn negative.

Looking back, I realize my internal dialogue was primarily negative; it just got worse when I hit a bump in the road.

Early on, I began to characterize myself as a “failure.”

It never occurred to me that my defeatist self-talk made every situation worse and constructed a warped self-image.

What if I began to define myself during my best days?

What if my self-image was reinforced on those days when I was winning? During those moments I felt unstoppable, and nothing could faze me. Those days when I was full of gratitude. When I wanted to give the world a big hug.

What if I said on my BEST days,

“This is me. This is who I am.”

Take note of the moments you feel most in love with yourself. Figure out why you feel that way and recreate those circumstances.

This is one of the reasons I walk for an hour every morning. After my morning walk, I feel good about myself. (after a walk I feel good in every way)

Try approving of yourself and see what happens. Define yourself on your best days -that’s the new you moving forward.

“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?”

— Rumi

You will never be satisfied until you appreciate yourself.

You deserve your love as much as anyone else does. The truth is, no one will love you unless you love yourself first.

Saying you love yourself is not enough. Words are cheap; deeds, however, don’t lie.

The only actual evidence of self-love is consistent self-care and self-improvement. You can’t trash yourself and say you love yourself.

Treating yourself well is not giving yourself that second serving of cheesecake.

Here are ten ways I demonstrate that I love myself. Use this list for yourself. I’ve proven its validity in my life.

This is treating yourself well.

1. Keep your self-talk positive. Talk to yourself like someone you love.

2. Forgive yourself (and others).

3. Live by your values. Don’t judge yourself through someone else’s eyes.

4. Keep the promises you make to yourself (and others).

5. Schedule small wins into your day.

6. Be clear on how you want to be treated. Set healthy boundaries. Know your worth. Drop those who drag you down.

7. Be assertive.

8. Prioritize your health and well-being.

9. Pursue your interests and goals.

10. Notice your progress and effort, and give yourself credit.

We don’t depend on others telling us who we are. Instead, we tell ourselves with our self-talk and determine our self-worth by what we do.