Give White Children “The Talk”

We don’t want anymore Trayvon Martins or Derek Chauvins

You have heard black people describe having “the talk” with their children about the dangers that face black people in the USA. Well, white folks should give their kids “the talk,” too.

Robert Aaron Long and Derek Chauvin were once small children.

Robert Aaron Long and Derek Chauvin were once small children. It is just as important that white folks make their children aware of the allure and danger of white supremacy as for POC to learn it. Treat “the talk” seriously, like a matter of life and death. In the end, this is exactly what we are talking about.

I have seen many psychologists encourage white parents to use the perspective that “we are all the same” to talk to white children about racism. Yes, in many ways we are the same, but we need to talk about racism as a system.

We also must highlight that racism kills, there is nothing neutral about it, so it is best to opt out of that tone towards the matter even if it is uncomfortable.

We also must highlight that racism kills, there is nothing neutral about it, so it is best to opt-out of that tone towards the matter even if it is uncomfortable. Here is some material for having “the talk” with white children.

Society may only give you a slap on the wrist

Harmful acts damage others, plain and simple. Resist the temptation to think that being a good person is the line that keeps someone from being considered a criminal. White people who have killed others have been given bottles of water or received nearly one million dollars to post bail. What distinguishes criminal acts from growing pains is often skin color and money.

Look for root causes

Think systemically, because acts don’t occur in a vacuum and explanations don’t lie only in the individual. How have social gains for white people been supported by the social policy? Question ownership of social goods. For example, Tatum (1997) pushes white people not to think of people of color taking “our jobs” since how can you take ownership of jobs by race?

Meritocracy is a myth

Some people work hard every breathing moment of their lives and can never get ahead. Historically white people have been granted access to social welfare programs denied to other groups. This means that if you study in an Ivy League school, enjoy financial success, own a house, your status could hinge on long-standing ties to a legacy of wealth and access to resources rather than how hard you have worked or how intelligent you are.

Toxic masculinity can lead to suicide

The same force that causes many white men to unleash anger onto others is the same anger that drives white men to suicide more than any other racial group in the USA. Face yourself in all your parts, the vulnerable, alone, scared parts, too.

Be your own person

White people receive accolades, money, and fame for continuing ages-old misinformation, hate speech, and aggression towards those with less social power. That may feel good, but it is a lie. In the end, the chicken comes home to roost and we are all damaged.

Push us, your parents

Challenge us to depart from our cultural small t truths to give way to a more expansive view. Remember it is an act of love to grow into your own person and push us to become better, too.

References

Desroches, D. (2019, May 5). Georgetown study: Wealth, notability, the biggest predictor of future success. WNPR. https://www.wnpr.org/post/georgetown-study-wealth-not-ability-biggest-predictor-future-success

Essex, R. (2019) The dark side of the American dream is killing white men. Detroit Free Press. https://www.freep.com/story/opinion/contributors/2019/04/12/suicide-rates-prevention-white-men/3436883002/

Tatum, B.D. (1997) Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria: And other conversations about race. New York: Basic Books.