Why Does Focusing On Meaning and Not Happiness Increase the Quality of Your Life?
Give up being happy and create a life that has never been better.
Spending time searching for happiness is like clutching a rose in your fist hoping to preserve its beauty.
There has been so much written in the pursuit of happiness.
Everyone wants to be happy, however, in that desire, people find more unhappiness trying to be happy. Faking it until you make it; smiling when crying might be a better option, and lots of positive affirmations fall short on increasing happiness.
Research psychologist Iris B. Mauss has completed multiple studies relating to emotion and happiness. One of her research findings
“Suggests that the pursuit and experience of happiness might sometimes lead to negative outcomes.”
So beyond happiness does there exist another path?
Looking at the work of Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl holds a possibility for another way.
“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” Viktor Frankl
In examining the area of positive psychology the happiness crowd gets all the book deals and blog posts, but the meaning crowd gets a life that matters.
Emily Esfahani Smith in her book The Power of Meaning highlights this so clearly.
“People in wealthier regions, like Scandinavia, reported being happier than those in poorer ones, but when it came to meaning wealthier places had some of the lowest levels of meaning, while the poor nations had some of the highest.”
She goes on to look at suicide rates and sees high rates of suicide, for some of the nations listed as the happiest. A deeper look shows that suicide rates showed a clear connection to meaning.
“The countries with the lowest rates of meaning also had some of the highest suicide rates.”
The Pursuit of Meaning
Now meaning and doing something that matters, that is actionable.
Creating meaning and matter for yourself.
Working on yourself and becoming part of something bigger and finding a purpose are important steps toward meaning.
This mattering to yourself could include a number of aspects.
- take care of your physical and mental health
- celebrate wins, both big and small
- appreciate where you are at now
- learn new skills and talents
- meditate and come home to yourself.
- explore what passions and possibilities move you
- create
- find your purpose and then find it again
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha
Creating meaning and matter to the people around you.
We interact with people and are in relationships every day. Approach these relationships and matter in the lives of others.
- thrive in the roles that you have taken on be it partner, parent, child, sibling, mentor, leader, human.
- see the people around you, hear the people around you, seek to understand the people around you
- share the skills and talents you have
- build people up
- teach
- be remembered for how people were better off, in all ways, by having known you
I get by with a little help from my friends
John Lennon & Paul McCartney
Create meaning and matter in the world.
The world is better because you are in it, matter for the world.
- leave every moment around you better than when you came
- give when you can whether it be time, love, care, or resources
- plant a tree
- pick garbage
- find your thing, big or small it does not matter the world is waiting
You weren’t born to be a spectator of others while they live life to the fullest. You too were born to make the world a better place, so put your talents into good use.
Gift Gugu Mona
Move beyond happy to a life that matters.
Matter and meaning you can take action with, in all of the thousands of things. Maybe through creating meaning for yourself, the people around you, and the world, you might even find yourself happy!
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