Give Me This Moment: I Don’t Want to Escape From The Present
Being here now isn’t so bad
I had an epiphany out of the blue this morning. As I lifted a hot cup of tea to my lips, it occurred to me I carry out this action over a thousand times a year. Not a vast realization, but it got me thinking about how often we engage in the same old activities, like opening and closing drawers or filling the kettle.
This is real life, I thought. We must focus on these actions and find contentment in them, not short-lived, rare events. We set our sights on vacations, promotions at work, family celebrations, and other ‘special’ events and imagine they will bring us the most joy.
In doing so, we forget about the little things like taking a shower or planting seeds in the garden as sources of contentment. They are almost’ too’ familiar for us to recognize and too simple to see as significant.
We set our sights on complicated or unfamiliar events as roads to fulfillment. Maybe we imagine shifting up the career ladder, moving to sunnier climes, or some other major event is more important than daily tasks and the little things we do.
But it’s the activities we engage in most often that have the power to change our mindsets, improve our moods, and satisfy us.
The vacation’s finished before you know it, and the party you look forward to is over in the blink of an eye. Those everyday actions you carry out, though, continue, and how you approach them is more powerful than brief ‘big’ events.
The way to lasting contentment is to be present during these small, seemingly insignificant moments and develop a healthy relationship with them.
Rather than try to escape life, we should embrace it
So often, we try to escape everyday life. We aim to get away from the things we usually do; this is why we see going to another country or doing something else new as valuable. It takes us from our ordinary lives into unusual circumstances.
But if we spend most of our lives on daily tasks and activities, isn’t it wiser to put more store in them as potential sources of satisfaction?
There’s beauty in simplicity. Looking closely at autumn leaves as you rake them in the garden and admiring their colors, for instance, can bring joy. Likewise, immersing yourself in the experience of water on your body as you bathe can be pleasurable.
The unexpected benefits of staying present
Most people engage in frequent, small tasks mindlessly. Their attention’s elsewhere, in the past or future. Because they aren’t present, they miss the little details involved in what they do. They don’t recognize pleasant physical sensations like sunshine on their skin or the comfort of sitting in a peaceful place.
People often miss personal insights, too. Ideas can flow when you disengage from daydreams and concentrate on the moment. You can’t note them if you’re busy thinking about what you said in a conversation yesterday or contemplating what you must do tomorrow.
Usually, people get lost in mental constructs while they do things. They consider problems, and their worries intensify. Stress increases, and they shift into fight or flight, even though they don’t encounter a stressful event.
Re-experiencing painful events or imagining the worst-case scenarios builds anxiety and erodes well-being. Stay present, however, and stress falls away, leaving you calm.
Getting what you want isn’t the road to happiness
What? Getting what you want won’t provide happiness? You’ve got to be kidding! Maybe that’s what you think. After all, we live in a success-driven society where we believe having more brings joy.
However, appreciating what you have, making the most of your blessings, and experiencing this moment works.
It makes you happier because you realize you don’t need what you want, and when you stop needing something, you no-longer experience lack. For example, if you always want a bigger car or a better job, you don’t like what you have right now.
When you get what you want, you’ll crave the next big thing, and you won’t be happy then either.
Contentment flows when you get in touch with the present moment. So rather than drift into another mental timeline, stay where you are and be there. Note the experience fully, recognizing the way it influences your senses.
You’ll be more alert to what goes on in your environment, develop less stress, and be open to listening to your muse when she speaks.
Bridget Webber is a writer and nature lover, often found in the woodland, meadow, and other wild places. She writes poetry and stories and pens psychology articles; her love of discovering what rests inside the thicket and the brain compels her to delve deep. She’s appeared in many leading publications and is the author of Nature Poems to Heal the Heart and Nurture the Soul.
