Give Me Back My Moments
Walking up to the store counter, I addressed the girl behind the till, “I’d like to buy a …”
The shop assistant interrupted my request and replied, “One moment, please, Madam.”
Turning, she served someone else.
I’m not keen on being ignored. I certainly do not like being called madam. It makes me feel old.
One moment.
What does that even mean? My mind began to spin. The store was warm, I was wearing a winter coat and felt a little dizzy as thoughts and memories crash-landed in my head.
The assistant finished serving and turned to me, “Now Madam. What was it you wanted?”
Looking thoughtful I responded…
“Well — you offered me a moment. But one is never enough. Don’t you find?” My tongue was sharp, my mind in a whirl, as I continued.
“I’d like all the moments. Even the awkward ones, such as when I finally started my period. The second to last girl in the class, and bled through to my gymslip. The whole hockey team noticed. My face was as rouged as the soiled skirt.
“The time when I clumsily gave my first boyfriend a hand job in the park bushes. Shocked at myself for doing such a thing.
“I’d really like the moment when a soul mate passionately kissed me in the pouring rain. Neither of us concerned about the weather. The sound of the river raging past, drowning out the thudding of my heartbeat. Raindrops dripping from my upturned nose.
“And how about the first time I looked into my newborn’s eyes and realised from that day forward my mind would never belong to just me, ever again.
“Let’s not forget the moments which brought sorrow. The final time I saw Mum before she died. Her eyes lucid. Her mind having reached a clarity that sometimes occurs when a person is ready to go. My heart… breaking. My heart broke.
“I’d pretty much like the moment when I could have walked in here and you would have called me Miss, envious of my youth. That will never happen now, but I do look forward to the future moments which will add to the tapestry of my life.”
The shop girl stared at me open-mouthed.
The buzzing sound of voices from a small crowd who had gathered in the queue jolted me back to reality. As I turned, they quietened. Looking awkward and uncomfortable.
It was clear at that moment I’d made a fool of myself, but I guessed it wouldn’t be the last time.
Try as I might, I could not remember what it was I had come in to buy. So I left the store empty-handed, thinking — now it was my time to wear purple…
More from May…