Writing Commentary

Girls Kick Boys’ Ass In The First Week Of Writing in The Press Box

Boys writing is … meh

This is Scoop Butwell reporting.

I’ve been sent by the Medium Staff to report on what’s going on at this new publication The Press Box that’s part of the media conglomerate Suite 1984.

I’ve been scrolling through the first week of The Press Box for a story idea.

And here’s the story …

The girls are kicking the boys’ ass in sportswriting and, boys, it’s not even close. The boys are writing the standard sports stories with no pizazz while the girls’ stories— written by KiKi Walter and Susan McCorkindale — are full of fire.

The girls writing packs fire

I won’t spend much time bashing the boys. I’m really a nice guy.

But the first two stories by Kiki and Susan caught my eye for their unique, casual, fun, interesting, and unique feminine way of writing about sports.

Take some tips, boys. Y’all think your stories are going to get the clicks and reads to get the algorithm to notice your writing? Nope, it won’t happen.

Sports will stay in last place in the earning standings unless you pick it up.

This is Algorithm 101 from my friend Linda Caroll: Algorithms are fueled by engagement. If a story gets good engagement, the algorithm gives it a little help by pushing it out to more people. So we gotta pick up the writing, guys.

Take a look at Kiki and Susan’s stories, guys. They’re not all about three-pointers, home runs, touchdown passes, dunks, and earned run averages.

Their stories are personal and interesting, starting right with the titles.

Great headlines, girls

Kiki’s story was titled, “I Found My Sport. It’s Fast, It Has Hot Men, And It Makes Me Feel Young Again.” That’s smoky hot, Kiki. The combination of hot men, sports, and the emotion in your headline made me want to click on it.

Guys, readers have to want to click on sports stories for the algorithm to start spitting out your sports stories to readers…and it all starts with the titles.

That’s what the GM EV says he wants. Guys, you gotta make it happen.

Susan’s story was titled, “My Sport is Rugby. No Pads. No Helmets. Just Balls.” Like Kiki, it emphasizes the personal with her love for rugby, and I like no pads, no helmet with just balls to break the standard style sports headline.

Way to go, Susan! I could feel the lusty emotions in your story too.

My girlfriends and I would whisper to each other on the sidelines as we sipped our Bloody Marys. “Oh my God,” we’d say giggling like the day drinkers we were, “I am so lusting after your son right now!” — Susan McCorkingdale

A closer look at the girls’ writing

Here is Kiki writing about watching sports with her partner:

Aside from a couple of football lovers along the way, I was quite happy in my ignorant bliss for most of my adult life — avoiding the male heathenism of sports shit. Until I met the man I now live with. We met five years ago where many people of the elder years meet — at work. His sport’s obsession was a new one for me. Soccer. Which, to be honest, frightened me…as that seemed to be most boring of them all.

Premier League, all the way. Liverpool. I won’t lie — I watch it with him. I like participating with him. Making breakfast and watching the games in the morning wearing my awesome thick red Liverpool robe. Don’t get me wrong…I multitask and write or play idiotic games on my iPad, but I make my Predict Addict guesses and I root for Liverpool and can name most of the players and many others on other teams. And I’m wicked in love with Jürgen.

Can you feel it, male writers?

There is a lot of feeling in there. She talks about how she came to become a Liverpool fan, what her experience is like on game day, and I like how it shows, not tells about what it’s like watching futball with her partner.

When I read Susan’s rugby story, it felt like it had the same personal style as Kiki’s, and like Kiki, it showed how women view sports differently than men.

I like how she tied in grieving the loss of her husband to the ritual she had of watching football with her husband … and this made me feel something.

She was praying to the sports angels in the sky for her team. Love it, Susan.

Then she got into her love for the sport of rugby and her words sizzled:

But rugby, professional rugby, has my heart.

And my fantasies.

Have you seen those guys?

Whoa mama!

It began when my son started playing in high school.

The coaches, all former rugby players, were tres adorbs. And the players were so cute, such young studs. Bright-eyed. Broad-shouldered. Brave.

Which increased their hotness tenfold.

I like how she introduces her feelings about the hotness of the coaches, but she proves herself a true rugby fan by reporting on the nuances of the sport.

Rugby is not for the faint of heart. For the players or the parents.

For the players, the game is sort of like football only you don’t pass the ball forward. You pass it back. While people try to kill you.

What are you wearing during this assault on your life?

Basically, shorts and a tee-shirt.

No helmet. No pads. Just, as they say, balls.

Round one goes to the girls

I know Jon Gluck from The Medium Staff told me to be biased, but if it ain’t obvious I admire Kiki and Susan’s style and round one goes to the girls.

Sorry, Jon. Guys, I expect you to bring something different in round two.

So is Ev Williams— he told me to tell you sports deserves a presence on Medium. Off the record, he said not to write the same old sports stories.

Those are boooring. Let us into the inner sanctum of your fan hood. Your pregame ritual before a game. How do you feel when your team loses?

That’s straight from the Boss. No lie. I got a new gig on The Medium Staff.

Ev said to tell us who is in the room with you as you’re watching the game …share what’s going on. Give us quirky details of the ritual as you watch the game. Like what are you eating, thinking, or talking about during the game?

Ev said he likes to drink Heineken and eat corn chips with avocado dip.

This is online writing, guys. Not writing for the Los Angeles Times. If you want to see a sample from a guy, Ev suggests Sreese’s mind-altering sports story (a father-son trip across the border to smoke some week and watch baseball):

C’mon, guys, pick it up and let’s get sports of the Medium dungeon. But it’s gonna take something A LOT more different, so let’s see what you got, fellas.

I’ll be back reporting in a week or two to check up on you guys, so that gives you a little bit of time to experiment and write in a more relational style.

Thanks for reading my story.

Tagging: Reuben Salsa, Smillew Rahcuef, Scott Younkin, Michael L Butler, Kevin Shay, Nathan Middleton, Gaurav Jain, Dom DeFonso, Neel Patel, Christian Aviles, Gerald Sturgill and potential female sportswriters like Preeti Ramachandran, Janet Meisel, Kristine Laco, Sally Prag, Adelina Vasile, Anjali Joshi, Bernice Puzon, Melissa Marietta, Klara Jane Holloway, Belcairn, The Sober Vegan Yogi, Deborah Camp, Susan Wheelock, Angie Mangino, Bridie Dillon, Evon, KL Simmons, Pam Winter, Eko BP, Sharing Words, Jane Kelley

Do you have to write every day to make money on Medium? Check out my YouTube video on 3 Myths About Writing on Medium. Who is buying me my first cup of coffee?