GIGACHAD: The Manliest Man, The Sexiest Man Alive?

The importance of being Ernest (Khalimov), seen as GigaChad

GigaChad was unavailable for the above photo op, so I selected this other manly man as a stand-in. He’s gorgeous, too.

Sure, you can google yourself (I mean BY yourself) and read about the mystery surrounding Chad and GigaChad: is he a photoshopped character, or a real person named Ernest Khalimov, or somebody else?

I will NOT write here to duplicate the info from those search results.

Instead, I will comment on how I see this controversy. Juicy subject…

The first time I heard of “Chad” and “GigaChad” was when I’ve read on Quora the very funny article by Alexander Finnegan:

In this story here, let’s refer to Gigachad as “the symbol of the manliest man, the sexiest man alive…or even the manliest man ever”. We can talk about GigaChad seriously, or humorously, or in both ways. Mixed. So you might get…mixed feelings.

My (subtle?) subtitle is: “The importance of being Ernest (Khalimov), seen as GigaChad”. Here’s the thing: after some point, it doesn’t even matter if the likeness of a real man (like Ernest Khalimov) becomes “larger than life”.

Why? Because both the real man and the meme character are becoming famous, worldwide. They grow together, then apart…together again… In-n-out…sounds like GigaChad’s modus operandi.

In [humorous] response to Alexander Finnegan’s answer on Quora, mentioned above:

Yes, Chad [Alexander calls Chad’s dad as “Giga Chad”] “knows how to get women”, but also (some) men, too. Moreover, someday he might consider transgendering, just to see how cool it is to live like a woman. Like Caitlyn “The Bruce” Jenner. [Cultural reference to the historical Robert The Bruce, ICYMI].

Like “a person who menstruates” (who coined that?). Although the plastic surgeon might not be able to achieve that change for our GigaChad.

Beautification tips and tricks, age-defying.

Not like a transvestite, but with total gender re-assignment, although he has a (truck)load of testosterone, presumably. Surely. Most definitely. That’s his testimony. Testi-money, too.

Wouldn’t be a pity for the human race to have GigaChad’s state-of-the-ART genitals precisely excised? “And, cut!”. Holly-no-wood-anymore. After all, he has so much to offer. Endowded “John” Industrial. Heavy Duty. (Inter)National Endowment for the (T)ARTS.

Then, he would enter WOMEN’S SPORTS. Smashing world records left and right. Crushing all real females, in any chosen muscle-sport. Far-fetched?

No, GigaChad would not want to be emasculated… There’s frustration in castration. I guess.

We’ll talk later here about his character traits, his personality, and mind. Right now, let’s talk about his physicality. Physi-quality. Sexuality. Being an archetype, he oozes sex. Call him Dr. Ooz. He is NOT a disgustingly-muscled bodybuilder with “roid rage”. That’s NOT what women want.

What (many) women ‘really, really want” is filthy…filthy rich financial security for them. But that’s another story: “I Shop, Therefore I Am”.

As far as GigaChad is concerned, women swoon over him because he is harmoniously muscular. Women want to come in harm(ony)’s way. Credible Hunk, not Incredible Hulk. More importantly, they presume that he is a Sex Star and Stud. Star-studded fantasy.

Being a mythic figure, women assume that GigaChad has endless stamina, like the Energizer Bunny, and he keeps going, and going, and going… “The Young (or The Seasoned) and The Restless”. They also hope that Gigachad knows “all there is to know” (and then some) about sexual activities and passivities. He “don’t need no stinky sex toy”.

Women really expect him to generate orgasms for them BAMN (“by any means necessary”). Oral traditions are great for storytelling. Chilling with GigaChad, no woman has a Frigid-Aire. Just microwaves, macrowaves and tsunamis of pleasure. Women also have a Grand Expectation that GigaChad will not lose control of his bodily effluvia and inflate them belly-UP [Unwanted Pregnancy].

Especially nowadays, after The Supremes of the Court Jesters had the audacity to take control of women’s bodies. Women want GigaChad to impregnate ONLY upon consent. On demand. “(…) yet satisfying”, said the meerkat.

[singsongy] “Open up your loving arms/ Watch out, here I…” Cumbersome thought, to actually fulfill your fantasy.

GigaChad could “laugh all the way to the Sperm Bank”. “Deposit, please!” “Rinse, and repeat”. White gold. Actually…[singsongy] “More than diamond, more than gwold”.

Sperm banks worldwide (along with secret private labs) are competing and hunting for “a piece of him”, DNA-wise. Let the Sequencing begin.

Prime Baby material. Prime Universal Soldier material, too, upon weaponization as needed, with AI enhancements.

When he was very young, GigaChad had to fight against aggression from sexual predators, including classmates and teachers from school. He had to deflect & reflect. Sure, he had to start somewhere, and with somebody. But when his partners got the hung of it, his re-puta-tion spread “like wildfire in California”.

As he grew older, he became much more selective about sexual partners. “Selective Service”, not “Equal Opportunity”.

After a while, Gigachad became bored, and he was yawning (like the tiger in the image above) at a prospect of yet another easy-peasy lemon-squeezy sexual encounter.

Instead, he preferred the pleasure of the hunt. Like a bobcat on the prowl.

The bobcat maxicard above illustrates GigaChad’s mindset: the thrill is in the hunt. You have to pursue something of value. Work for it. Then devour it.

As GigaChad became a seasoned man (and what a man!) he stopped giving a shiitake mushroom about many things. Now he wanted a family. A wife and some children, not in tubes. Not a trophy wife, and not an atrophied wife. A fit woman, but not a muscle babe. He has enough muscles for both.

GigaChad learned from his appointments (to sperm banks, and various transient women) and disappointments in life. He became smarter and wiser. Not a Promiscuous Boy anymore, but a Promise Keeper.

He found an imperfect wife, he tested her in all categories and subject matters, and he guesstimated that he will do his best to have a lasting marriage with her. Lasting, not lashing…at each other.

As such, he made the titanic effort to resist temptation from any would-be sexual partner, of any kind. He made Fidelity Investments, and she reciprocated. Mutual of Omaha? No, Mutual of O-my-God! Yes…yes…yes… Not “happily everafter”, but hey! Real life gives “hiccups”, occasionally.

Still, GigaChad’s legacy endures, in the fantasies of women et alter, worldwide. The Man, The Legend, The Fantasy. Imagination is a powerful thing, is it not?

This story here is an experiment. Instead of writing again about my beloved hobby (philately/maximaphily), I wrote this about a topic that might be more popular with the Medium readership.

Tell me your thoughts in the comments.

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