Gifts From Herself

A day filled with new things

She turned around and began walking away from the altercation happening on the sidewalk up ahead. Andrea did not want to hear any arguing or fighting or yelling. She did not want to feel the intense negative vibes — certainly not on this day.

This was supposed to be a happy day. It was her birthday and she was intent on celebration and joy and merriment. Her last birthday had been steeped in negativity and she wanted this birthday to be the exact opposite.

As Andrea walked away she could still hear the people yelling behind her so she quickened her pace. She turned the corner at the end of the block and soon the noise was gone and she could once again bring up positive vibes.

Never before had she experienced a birthday all by herself. There had always been family and friends and boyfriends and parties and dancing and lunch with coworkers and phone calls from across the country. But this year Andrea had decided to spend her birthday celebrating herself by herself. This year it would be all about her with no other people involved.

That concept was new to her.

Walking down the crowded city sidewalk, she glanced upward at the thin swath of blue sky between the tall buildings. She wanted to see more of that sky.

As Andrea continued walking she visualized a bubble of white light surrounding her, shielding her from the intense vibrations of the countless humans in the city; both those on the street and those in all the tall buildings. With so many people on the streets it was difficult to maintain that bubble. The occasional honking of car horns did not help.

Then she heard a distant siren which quickly grew louder and louder. The wailing crescendo peaked as an ambulance whizzed by her on the street. The wake of the noise completely shattered her bubble.

She tried to re-visualize the bubble but then a car alarm went off a little further down the block. This is not the peaceful birthday celebration I had in mind! she thought to herself.

That is when she realized that her favorite bookstore was just a couple of storefronts away. She quickly headed for the bookstore and entered what, to her, was a sanctuary.

There was no need for a bubble shield inside the bookstore. She let herself be bathed in the soothing and uplifting vibes of books. Being surrounded by these book vibes she instantly relaxed and joy welled up inside her. Since childhood she had always loved the world of libraries and bookstores; the places she would go to escape the pressures of a mad and crazy world.

After waving at Mrs. Walters, the bookstore proprietress who was stocking shelves, Andrea began very slowly wandering about the bookstore. She was not looking for anything in particular and had no plans to buy anything. She simply luxuriated in the sensations of peace and quiet and the heavenly smell of books.

Halfway to the back of the store was a big stuffed chair which Andrea had sat in many times looking through books or just relaxing. When she got to the chair she realized that she could not sit in it today because there was a cat sound asleep in the middle of the chair. It was Miss Gracie, the bookstore cat.

Andrea squatted down to the level of the cat and began petting her. The cat barely woke up and did not move except in enjoyment of the petting. Petting her little head and ears and back, over and over, Andrea finally stopped the petting and the cat fell immediately back to sleep.

She whispered to the sleeping cat, “Thank you, Miss Gracie. I really needed that.”

Standing up, she continued wandering about the store, occasionally lightly touching the books with her fingertips as though to feel all the life within them. Eventually she found herself near the front of the store in front of a wall display of new releases. And that is when a book caught her eye.

It was a new book by one of her favorite authors. She did not even know that author had a new book out. She picked up a copy of the book, holding it in her hands as she closed her eyes, feeling the vibes of the book. Then she brought the book to her chest holding it tightly against her heart. She took a deep breath as though inhaling the book.

With a big smile now on her face, she opened her eyes and carried the book over to the checkout counter.

Mrs. Walters came over to the counter also, “Well don’t you look happy today, Andrea.”

“Yes I am happy. I just found the perfect birthday present.”

Mrs. Walters picked up the book to scan it, “Whoever is getting this book for their birthday is certainly lucky. I love this author. She tells such wonderful stories. Would you like me to gift-wrap the book for you?”

“There will be no need for that. The book is for me.”

“Oh! Well lucky you then. So it’s your birthday today?”

“Yes.”

“Well happy birthday to you!”

“Thank you.”

After buying the book Andrea put it in her purse (she was glad that she had her biggest handbag with her) then headed for the front door of the bookstore. Just before exiting she stopped for a brief moment to take a deep breath of bookstore air.

Once back out on the street she activated her bubble shield and headed towards her apartment building. But once there she did not go upstairs to her apartment but rather went into the parking garage next door and got into her car.

She now knew exactly what she wanted to do.

While driving, her cellphone rang twice. She picked up the phone to see who was calling but did not answer in keeping with her plan to spend her birthday by herself. The first call was from her sister in Chicago and the second was from her friend from yoga class. She wanted to talk to both of them but she would call them back tomorrow.

After a thirty minute drive Andrea arrived at the beach. She and Stephen drove out to the beach at least once a month back before she broke up with him and now she realized that it had been almost three months since she had last been there — since the last time she went with Stephen.

She thought to herself; I don’t need anyone to go to the beach with. I can go all by myself!

With her flats in her handbag she walked barefoot in the sand. It felt so good! Then she rolled up her pant legs and walked down towards the water to walk in the wet sand right at the water’s edge. The water would roll up the beach and wash her feet and ankles then it would slip back towards the ocean. Back and forth, the water seemed to cleanse her of all anxiety.

And then, after walking for a while, Andrea had a sudden realization. Back when she was a kid she was always doing somersaults and cartwheels in her parents’ yard or at the park or at school. But in all the years that she had been coming to the beach since then she had never done cartwheels on the beach!

Never! How could that be? The more she thought about it, she realized that she had not done any cartwheels at all in many years. Why did she stop doing that?

Andrea walked away from the water towards a small outcropping of rock where she put down her handbag. She then proceeded to do cartwheels back and forth on the beach. It was exhilarating and fun. She felt like a kid again.

Spent, she then went back to where her handbag was and sat down in the sand with her back up against a very large rock. The rock was warm from the sun. Catching her breath, she stared out over the beach and the ocean, enjoying the incredible beauty of it all.

There was certainly no reason for her to activate her bubble shield there on the beach but Andrea got an idea. Once her heart-rate was back to normal following her gymnastics she decided to visualize that bubble of white light surrounding her. But this time she decided to expand the bubble. She slowly expanded it farther away from her body. It kept moving outward further and further until everything within her field of vision was now suddenly inside her bubble. The sky and clouds, the vast ocean, the beach, the birds… eventually what seemed like the whole world was now inside her bubble.

A lone tear of joy rolled down her cheek.

Andrea stayed in her bubble of bliss for quite some time but eventually it dissipated when she had yet another sudden realization. Back at the bookstore she had decided to take her birthday present book and go somewhere out in nature away from the city to start reading it. She had pictured herself sitting on the grass leaning against a tree reading but once in her car she found herself heading towards the beach. Instead of leaning against a tree she was now leaning back against a large rock.

And now she realized that never in her life had she ever read a book on the beach! Reading a book is usually a solitary endeavor and perhaps that is why she never read a book at the beach before. After all, it seemed she was always with other people when she went to the beach.

Taking her birthday present book out of her bag she cracked it open and started reading. With the mighty ocean before her she sat there in the sand leaning back against that rock reading for over two hours.

Her cellphone rang numerous times but she never answered it nor did she even look at it to see who was calling.

After finishing the chapter she was on she stopped reading. Scanning the sand around her, she spotted a seagull feather. She reached to pick it up then she put it in the book to mark her place. (She did not believe in dog-earring a page to mark her place. Books were sacred objects to her and folding over the corner of a page was desecration.) She then put the book back in her bag.

Andrea had done cartwheels on the beach and she had begun reading a book on the beach. Those may seem like insignificant things but they were both things that she had never done before in her life. This thought made her smile as she got up to walk back to her car.

Once back at the parking lot she put back on her shoes but before getting into her car she stopped at the little food shack and purchased a taco which she ate at the nearby picnic table overlooking the ocean. This was certainly not a new experience. She had eaten tacos at the beach numerous times before.

On the drive back to her apartment Andrea did a lot of thinking. There was something else that she had never done before that she fervently wanted to do and today was the perfect day to do it.

Once in her apartment she put her birthday present book on the coffee table in front of the couch. She then went into her kitchen and brewed a pot of coffee. After changing clothes and washing up she returned to the kitchen and got her favorite Tweety Bird coffee mug down from the cupboard. Filling it with coffee she proceeded to her desk. On the way to the desk she looked at the book on the coffee table. She really wanted to get back into the book but that would have to wait.

Placing the hot coffee on her desk she then sat down and opened up her laptop. She did not check her email inbox. That would have to wait until tomorrow. Instead, she opened up a new blank document…

…and she began writing a novel!

Andrea had wanted to write a novel ever since she was in college. It was perhaps the most persistent desire of her life but for some reason she could never bring herself to start. And now she finally did. It was yet another new thing today that she had never experienced before in her life.

Interrupted only by bathroom breaks and the refilling of her coffee mug, she wrote for a little over three hours. She only got six pages done but she was exhausted. It was a truly wonderful kind of exhaustion, however.

Saving her work and shutting down her laptop, she brought her coffee mug to the kitchen and put it in the sink. Turning off the coffee maker, she looked at the clock on her kitchen wall. It was dinner time.

After sitting for so long she did some stretching exercises and some yoga and soon realized how hungry she was. Stephen had taken her out to fancy restaurants on each of her previous four birthdays. Although she had enjoyed those meals she was glad that this year was different. Of course she did not want to take herself out to eat alone in a fancy restaurant. So she turned on her cellphone.

The first thing she saw was, You had 23 missed calls!

“Yikes,” she said aloud. But she did not return any of those calls. Instead she called her favorite Chinese restaurant and ordered dinner to be delivered.

It was not long before Andrea was sitting cross-legged on her couch with a tray of delicious food in her lap. In one hand she held chopsticks and in the other she held her birthday present book opened to where she had left off reading.

She ate and read slowly, savoring each sentence and each morsel of food.

After dinner she wanted to keep reading but she decided to switch from the couch to her bed. So she put on her pajamas and brought the book to bed with her. Leaning back against four pillows, she sat in bed and read her birthday present book for almost three hours.

After finishing a chapter she picked up the seagull feather from her bedside table and placed it in the book. Closing the thick book and looking at the top of the book where the feather protruded she realized that she was a little over three-fourths finished with the book.

When she placed the book on her bedside table she noticed her alarm clock which read seven minutes until midnight. Her birthday was almost over.

I did it, she thought to herself. I actually spent my birthday all alone for the first time in my life. And it was fantastic! Then she laughed, But did I really spend it alone? I actually spent it with a lot of people. Of course those people were all fictional characters in either the book I was reading or the book I started writing. She laughed some more at her thoughts.

Thinking back over her special day she realized that she had done several things that she had never done before. In addition to celebrating her birthday alone she also cartwheeled on the beach for the first time in her life and she read a book for the first time in her life and, most importantly, she started writing a novel for the first time in her life.

She took a deep breath as she smiled. Then she clasped her hands together as she closed her eyes. She proceeded to make a very solemn pledge to herself and to the Universe that on every birthday for the rest of her life she would do at least one new thing that she had never done before.

This would turn out to be the best birthday present she gave herself.

Paring her pile of pillows down to two, Andrea reached over to set her alarm clock. It was three minutes until midnight. As she turned off the lamp on the bedside table her last thought of the day was, Boy, I’ve got a lot of people to call tomorrow! I can’t wait to tell everyone what a glorious birthday I had.

Then, like Miss Gracie the bookstore cat, Andrea curled up into a ball and fell into a deep and satisfying sleep.

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction.