Gifted and Stoic: 7 Stoicism Strategies for the Gifted Adults

For those with heightened emotional intensity and giftedness, perceiving the world through heightened emotions and empathic insight is a significant strength. However, it also comes with challenges like emotional overwhelm, negative self-perceptions, decision-making difficulties, and vulnerability to overstimulation.

As a gifted adult, Stoicism can potentially provide a tailored framework for your unique qualities. It helps you navigate life’s uncertainties with grace and find a sense of purpose. By combining Stoic philosophy with personalized coaching, you can build inner resilience, balance your emotions, and adopt a mindset in line with timeless Stoic wisdom.

7 Stoic Wisdoms for the Gifted Adults

Let’s see how specific Stoic principles can be a guiding light in your life:

Dichotomy of Control

In Stoic coaching, a crucial concept is the “Dichotomy of Control.” This idea encourages you to distinguish between things you can control and those you can’t. Mastering this helps you regulate emotions, stay calm, and find stability even when things seem chaotic.

Gifted and emotionally intense individuals often struggle with strong emotions and high expectations. Even though they know they can’t control everything, a lifetime of conditioning makes them try to manage things beyond their influence.

From a young age, gifted individuals get praised for their achievements, creating a belief that effort can always change outcomes. However, their genuine desire to make a positive impact, combined with existential angst, can lead to unrealistic beliefs about changing things beyond their true capacity. This can result in frustration and anxiety when faced with life’s uncertainties.

Embracing the “dichotomy of control,” as highlighted by the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, can be helpful in these situations. This principle encourages you to mindfully separate what you can influence from what you can’t. By shifting focus from external events to your thoughts and actions, you empower yourself to stay calm and stable even when things are chaotic. Epictetus’s wisdom, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters,” stresses the importance of managing your responses rather than being controlled by external events.

Stoicism goes beyond theory; it focuses on practical application in daily life.

Getting some Stoic coaching can play a crucial role in applying the ‘Dichotomy of Control.’ It provides guidance and strategies for consciously differentiating between what you can influence and what you can’t. Through introspection, you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions, setting the stage for mastering this principle. Coaches may give you exercises to help you incorporate Stoic principles into your routine.

Once internalized, the dichotomy of control becomes a powerful tool, offering a resilient framework for you to navigate life’s complexities.

‘Amor Fati’

In a world that often labels people as ‘too much’ or ‘too sensitive’ because of their heightened sensitivity and intellectual giftedness, accepting these natural qualities can be a rough ride.

The Stoic principle of ‘amor fati,’ or the love of fate, provides a powerful tool for navigating feelings of being isolated. Instead of holding onto resentment for being unique and facing the challenges of being gifted, embracing ‘amor fati’ becomes a guiding philosophy. This principle encourages finding meaning in every experience, even those that seem frustrating, demanding, or isolating.

For you, someone gifted and emotionally intense, it means embracing your unique capacity for deep emotions, heightened empathy, and intuitive insights as essential parts of who you are. By accepting and loving your fate, and embracing all its complexities, you can free yourself from the burden of feeling like an outsider.

Embracing ‘amor fati’ allows you to see differences not as flaws but as integral parts of your identity. Instead of seeking approval from others who may not understand you, you can find validation within yourself by recognizing and appreciating the unique perspective that comes with being highly excitable and intense. Ultimately, the Stoic principle empowers you to live authentically without fear or shame about who you are.

Stoicism further encourages viewing challenges as opportunities for growth, echoing Marcus Aurelius’s famous saying, “Obstacle is the Way.” This principle can be applied by turning discomfort into an opportunity to enhance your intelligence, broad knowledge, and understanding of the world. The feelings of being different or misunderstood, which sometimes lead to a sense of powerlessness, are redefined through ‘Amor Fati.’

“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it.” — Seneca

Having Realistic Expectations of Others

In the Stoic tradition, Marcus Aurelius advises keeping your expectations of people realistic. In his morning reflection, he acknowledges the diverse and sometimes challenging nature of people you meet: “The people you deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.” This recognition acts as a preemptive measure against potential frustrations that may arise from interactions with people who may not meet your ideals.

This principle is especially pertinent for you, particularly if you possess high intellectual capabilities. You might find yourself impatient with the shortcomings of others, especially when those around you exhibit ignorance, illogical behavior, or unethical tendencies. By acknowledging the imperfections in others, you can navigate social interactions with greater equanimity and compassion.

Marcus Aurelius also reminds us of the interconnectedness and shared nature of humanity: “We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower.” Stoicism emphasizes the internal aspect of happiness and the shared pursuit of a good life. It suggests that our well-being is interconnected, and thus having a compassionate and empathic mind by default can help you contribute to a collectively joyful existence. This sentiment can serve as a guiding principle for you, allowing you to set the intention to harness your gifts not as a source of irritation but of understanding and generosity towards others.

When faced with unfair judgments of the way you are, you can also turn to Aurelius’s teachings. As he aptly puts it, “The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injustice.” Furthermore, Aurelius also reminds us, “They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.” This perspective invites you to view others’ actions as a result of their limitations rather than deliberate malice. Though you probably already know this, having a quote from the ancient philosopher can act as a potent reminder.

Despite encountering potential negativity, the Stoic response in the face of attacks is for you to remain steadfast in your commitment to kindness and virtue. Leveraging your sensitivity and love for humanity, you can respond to unfair judgment with compassion and thoughtfulness. In doing so, you not only navigate challenges with resilience but also foster a profound sense of authenticity in your interactions with the world.

Perfectionism

On your journey, where your remarkable abilities and intense emotions stand out, you might often feel caught up in the constant pursuit of perfection in different parts of your life. Whether it’s in your work, relationships, or personal achievements, the ongoing pressure to achieve flawless results can be overwhelming. This pursuit tends to lead to a repeating cycle of self-imposed frustration, disappointment, and self-criticism.

Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, shared lasting wisdom when he said, “He who aims at perfection will never achieve it.” This deep insight particularly speaks to those, like yourself, who are emotionally intense perfectionists.

Stoic wisdom is a strong reminder that the continuous chase for perfection is flawed and ultimately impossible. His teachings encourage you to rethink your approach to success, urging you to accept imperfection as a natural part of being human. Instead of obsessing over an ideal that can never be fully reached, Stoic teachings suggest shifting your focus to appreciate the value found in the journey of growth and development.

“He who is brave is free.” — Seneca

Dealing with Anxieties: Negative Visualization

As you delve into Stoic philosophy, you will likely come across a powerful technique known as “premeditatio malorum,” or negative visualization. This approach involves imagining potential difficulties or negative events in the future and devising strategies to handle them.

Negative visualization is not a gloomy exercise but a proactive and empowering one. It enables you to anticipate challenges, viewing them not as insurmountable obstacles but as integral parts of your human journey. By mentally preparing for potential challenges, you can develop a heightened awareness of the uncertainties life may bring. This awareness becomes the basis for building strong coping strategies. Instead of being caught off guard by unexpected setbacks, engaging in negative visualization empowers you to face challenges with resilience and a steadfast Stoic mindset.

Stoic coaching may involve practical activities like role-playing scenarios or guided visualizations where you practice responding to unfair judgments in a Stoic manner. Regularly practicing negative visualization encourages a shift in perspective. Rather than fearing or avoiding the possibility of adversity, you learn to embrace the idea that challenges are inherent in the human experience.

Embracing Solitude

Stoicism encourages you to see solitude as a chance for self-reflection and personal growth. This perspective can be reassuring, especially if you often feel distant from others due to your deep focus, strong emotions, and the desire to dive deeply into nothing else but intellectual pursuits.

For you, embracing solitude goes beyond avoiding external distractions; it’s a purposeful choice for profound self-reflection. This intentional step back from the chaos of the world allows you to tap into your inherent curiosity, delve into complex ideas with depth, and confront existential questions without limitations. Through this process, as an intellectually intense and gifted adult, you can harness the power of solitude to cultivate inner strength and purpose, guiding you through life’s complexities with exceptional clarity and grace.

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

Shifting from External Achievements to Inner Qualities

Stoicism also highlights that your real value comes from who you are, not just from what you achieve externally: “Waste no more time arguing about what a good person should be. Be one.” This advice encourages you to concentrate on developing inner qualities like resilience, compassion, and wisdom, regardless of your natural talents or accomplishments. Stoics suggest building a strong sense of self-worth based on personal integrity and moral excellence, rather than seeking validation from outside sources, which can be fleeting.

Stoic coaching guides you in embracing Stoic virtues that stress the significance of shaping your character. Coaches help you embody virtues such as wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance, nurturing a sense of self-worth that doesn’t rely on external validation. The focus is on becoming a ‘good person’ in the Stoic sense.

This concept is particularly relevant in today’s competitive, capitalist society, where skills and achievements often overshadow the importance of ethical conduct and personal growth. A Stoic mindset underscores that your aim isn’t solely to impress others but to fully develop yourself. By adopting this mindset, the gifted adult, even with exceptional abilities, can release yourself from the pressure to constantly prove your worth through external success. Instead, you can channel your focus into cultivating virtues that truly reflect your self-worth, independent of external recognition.

Stoicism for Your Intense Inner Journey

To wrap up, teachings in Stoicism, Stoic coaching, along with your own practices, journaling, and thoughtful reflections rooted in Stoic principles, can be valuable tools for you as a gifted adult. The aim of Stoic coaching is to cultivate inner strength by encouraging you to embrace your uniqueness. Being ‘too much’ actually points to your capacity and depth, rather than something to feel ashamed of.

In a world that often misunderstands heightened sensitivity and intellectual giftedness, Stoicism provides a guiding light to navigate the complexities of life with resilience and authenticity. By adopting the Stoic mindset, you gain the tools to find strength in your uniqueness, cultivate inner resilience, and channel intense emotions and intellect into sources of profound wisdom.

When you’re grappling with profound life questions, stoicism serves as a useful guide, steering you away from becoming overwhelmed by abstract pondering. Instead of getting lost in deep thoughts, you can use your philosophical reflections and introspection to bring about positive changes within yourself.

Ultimately, for the gifted adult, embracing Stoic principles is not just a philosophical choice but a powerful pathway to a more balanced, meaningful, and fulfilling life.

Summarize