Ghosting: Silence Speaks Louder Than Words

No reply is a reply

‘Hey, is everything OK? I understand that work has been busy, but if you’re no longer interested in taking this any further, I’d appreciate it if you’d be honest and communicate it to me rather than stay silent.’

You stare at the message you just typed out, re-reading it over and over again, hestitating, wondering whether you should press ‘send.’

You went on a few amazing dates with this person, and you felt an instant connection. You saw a potential future together.

You met on a dating app, exchanged texts daily for a month, and then, out of the blue, the messages stop.

Thoughts start spiralling your mind.

They must be busy.

They will get back to me soon, let’s just stay patient.

Did they read and forget to reply?

Did they lose their phone?

Did they get into a car accident?

Are they ignoring me?

Did they lose interest?

The uncertainty lingers, turning two days into three, and three into five. Eventually, the realisation hits.

You’ve been ghosted.

You want closure. You want to send them one last final text because you still have a glimmer of hope. You feel like you deserve a text after messaging them every day and everything seemed to be going so well. So what was with the sudden radio silence?

All you want is an answer.

You laugh at the message you typed out, and your inner voice tells you, “What on earth am I doing? This person clearly doesn’t care about me so why should I show them I’m sitting around waiting for their text?”

That’s right. Listen to your inner voice, it’s there for a reason.

If you’re sure that sending a last final text will make you feel better, then go for it.

But I’d advise against it. To me, no reply is the strongest reply.

Yes, I know ghosting can hurt a lot, but ghosting is a reflection on them, not you.

Truth is, if that person cared about you even in the slightest, they would have replied to your last text long before you had to type out this one.

Someone who respects you wouldn’t leave you hanging like that.

Someone who is interested in you would reply to you no matter how busy they were.

It’s not worth investing your time or energy into someone who isn’t even going to try to communicate how they feel.

This person is a coward, bad communicator and not someone you need in your life. You don’t want them to return.

Don’t show them it’s getting to you. Have some dignity and stop chasing this person.

If there is a lesson you have learnt this time, it’s to not get emotionally attached to someone who has not made it clear they are committed to you.

You can’t force someone to respect you, but you can choose to respect yourself.

So, erase that message, delete that number, and let them go.