Getting the Last Word III: Part 9/25

Previously on “Getting the Last Word III”

As you probably know, I typically write about sports, humor, and parenting on Medium. But as I enter my third year as a writer on this platform, I have decided to do something a little different. Sounds fun, right?

I have discovered a list of more than 1,800 writing prompts on the Reedsy Web site. Hence, I plan to answer 25 of the prompts during a span of 25 separate articles. Although I already have my hands full with writing two long-term series on Medium — “Today’s Rant” and “The Parenting Tales of Teo” — you can think of this new project as a short miniseries intended to be spontaneous and impromptu. So, let us get started!

Writing Prompt No. 9: “Just say it,” you silently reminded yourself. You knew you’d regret it if you didn’t.

I was laid off from my temporary full-time job in November of 2007. I was 23 years old at the time. I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area.

I wanted to stay active while I searched for my next job. With the holidays approaching, I also needed extra money so I could purchase Christmas gifts for family and friends. Hence, I decided to pursue a part-time seasonal job at Macy’s, the famed department store chain.

I applied for a position at Macy’s in San Francisco’s Union Square neighborhood, a short 15-minute ride from my house via rapid transit. The online process was simple. I selected an open position, picked a time and date for an in-person interview, and submitted an application with an attached resume.

I recall feeling happy, excited, and optimistic the morning of my interview. After all, every step of my plan to obtain the job had been successful so far. What could possibly go wrong?

A lot, apparently.

The interview was a disaster.

“I don’t think you were supposed to come in for an interview today,” the Macy’s supervisor assigned to interview me said.

The supervisor quickly scanned the sheets of paper attached to his clipboard as he sat in a chair facing me. I assumed it was a printed copy of my application. After a moment, he paused and gave me a look of confusion. I nervously squirmed in my seat before I replied.

“Oh … uh, I have a copy of my interview confirmation right he — ”

“Excuse me for a moment.”

The supervisor abruptly rose from his chair and exited the room. He returned a few minutes later and sighed loudly before he sat facing me once again. He was still gripping the clipboard.

“Ever sell wrist watches?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“That’s okay. Since you have previous retail experience, we can have you sell jewelry.”

I was confused by his statement since I had never worked in the retail industry.

“Well, sir, I actually don’t have previous re — ”

We’ll have you come back tomorrow for an orientation. I have your application here. Let’s see … your name is Michael Young, right?”

“Hold on. Michael … Young? Sorry, I think there’s been a mistak—”

“The phone number on your application is still current, right?”

I quickly glanced at the sheets of paper on his clipboard and realized something horrifying…

…The application had belonged to someone named “Michael Young.”

I was not Michael Young.

Michael Young and I had the same first name, but my last name was different.

The supervisor had referred to me as “Michael” since the start of our interview, but never confirmed my full name matched the one on the application in front of him. My body instantly froze. A knot formed in my stomach. My mind began to race.

“Oh, no,” I thought to myself. “What should I do? Should I pretend to be Michael Young and accept the job offer? Should I tell him the truth and risk losing it?”

There was only one correct choice to make.

“Just say it,” I silently reminded myself. I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t.

“Sir, my name isn’t Michael Young.”

The supervisor’s smirk disappeared instantly. He starred at me with his mouth gaped for a moment before laughing aloud with embarrassment. After he regained his composure, he smiled sheepishly at me.

“Wow, I’m so sorry about that. Wait a second. Then, who are you?”

I paused for a moment before I spoke again.

“Sir, I feel like our interview had started off on the wrong foot. I’m sorry, but I don’t think this is going to work. Thank you for the opportunity to interview. Good luck.”

I quickly rose from my chair, exited the room, and took the train home.

I laugh when I think about this interview, even 16 years later. The incident is funny, but also ironic for two reasons. First, I later worked in the retail industry for nine years, during which I became an assistant manager. Second, as a manager, hiring team members was one of my responsibilities. Of course, I always triple checked the first and last names of candidates I interviewed because of this awkward experience.

Talk about irony.

“Just say it,” you silently reminded yourself. You knew you’d regret it if you didn’t.