Getting Started- Why the First Step is the Hardest AND the Most Rewarding…
When it comes to starting a new venture, revisiting a dormant hobby, or simply getting up and getting ready in the morning, what is it that makes us so anxious that we either procrastinate or not make a move at all? Is it fear? Is it laziness? Are we creatures of habit? Are we running away from our calling? Do you have a debilitating psychiatric disorder?
Before we go into some of these potential reasons with more detail, I recall someone I used to know. As a teenager, this individual was seemingly very awkward and lacked confidence. It was apparent because, despite their creativity and intelligence, the simplest of tasks were extremely daunting. This girl was so anxiety-ridden, she refused to leave her house for a period of a few months- not even to go outside to check the mailbox. There might have been circumstances that weren’t obvious to me at the time. It did, however, make me wonder why people do things or don’t do things. I always wanted to understand what drives us to exhibit certain behaviors. Maybe this example isn’t necessarily the extent of the situation in your case, however, we all have faced some level of anxiety that prevents us from living our fullest lives.
American psychologists Gordon Allport and Henry Odbert were amongst the first psychologists to focus on personality. In 1936 Allport and Odbert formed a list comprised of 4,500 terms (after being narrowed down from 18,000) relating to personality traits using the most comprehensive English language dictionaries available at the time. Their research provided the foundation for other psychologists to begin determining the basic dimensions of personality. Over the course of the years, their studies led to what is known today as the ‘Five Factor Model’ that define the major personality traits in most individuals. These personality traits are:
1. Openness to Experience
2. Conscientiousness
3. Extraversion & Introversion
4. Agreeableness
5. Eroticism
So, what does that mean for you? EVERYTHING. Don’t think so? If you don’t know yourself, how do you expect to navigate through life in any aspect or be able overcome the day-to-day grind of accomplishing anything that has meaning to YOU? Yes, the things that have meaning to YOU. Not others. Not what you think others want or need to hear. Much like the steps to problem-solving- First, you must identify the problem, or in this case, know yourself and what moves you in a particular direction. In order to understand yourself better and learn what methods best work for you to live your best life, what better way than to first identify who you are at the core? First, I want to see how devoted you are to figuring out the type of personality trait it is that you possess…
The following link is a little assessment to get you started on identifying your traits:
Alright. Which personality trait best describes you? Not what you expected? Now ask yourself if you were being completely honest in answering these questions. Is that how you think, react and feel? Or are your answers based off what you “think” your responses should be? The truth should honestly make you a bit uncomfortable. Why you ask? Well, because if the first step is identifying and knowing who we really are, how can we take the next step in the right direction if we’re not being honest with ourselves? This is for you. The beauty of identifying who you are at the core, is that it is solely for you. The results are for you only. I decided to write my first article here for that reason. I used to like writing, poetry mainly, amongst other things. Yet, one day I just stopped. I allowed my busy life, challenges and fear to get in the way of my creativity. I spent more time making excuses to not do something I wanted, than the time it would have taken to just do it. Sounds simple right? Ok so you got it all figured out now you can stop reading. Ok Byeeee!
No dummy. That was the first step. A test is not going to tell you who you are at the core. It may point you in the right direction, “maybe” get you jump-started. That website by the way was meant to be a joke, please don’t take offense. Actually, I don’t care if you take offense that’s not my problem. My point is that you can change the trajectory of your life by making the smallest of changes in your daily routine. Or, in my case, I did everything that went against my fear and insecurities because I was sick and tired of living a mundane existence. The shock of being outside of my comfort zone, rewired my brain. Ever hear that saying when you repeat the same behavior and expect different results? Insanity folks. Stop worrying about being a failure, about not being good enough. Stop letting others put you in a category and tell you who you are and what you need to do. This is YOUR life. As long as you aren’t hurting anybody intentionally, go after whatever the f*ck it is that you’ll regret NOT doing when you’re lying in your death bed. Believe me, when your life is flashing before your eyes, you don’t remember the bad things in life, just the good memories, and what you wish you would have done. There is no step-by-step program or solution. You already know what it is that you need to do, whether it be small steps or taking a giant leap of faith into the unknown…there’s never the perfect time to make a change. You just do it. NOW.