Getting Our Answers
The Epic Conclusion To Our Interrogation
Jason Provencio is a cock tease.
He teased us with part one in his epic story of our kidnapping of Stony Tubblebine but he never gave us a conclusion. He thought just because we lost power that he wouldn’t be able to finish his story. He didn’t realize I have a backup generator.
So I give to you all the epic conclusion to his part one. I promise not to cock tease you.
If you haven’t caught part one you can catch it here.
There we were in the dark. The smell of burnt pubic hair hangs in the air. I asked Jason to flip on the backup generator but he had no idea how to navigate the bunker in the dark. I skirted around him and flipped the switch. The light’s flickered a few times before receiving the necessary power needed to boot the system.
“Looks like the off-grid system doesn’t like power surges from nipple clamps… I’ll have to look into that in the future, this place doubles as my sex dungeon. Look’s like I’ll just have to go old school on this fucker…” I said with J-Pro standing next to me.
“What do you mean by old school?” He asked curiously.
I grinned a truly evil Shackleford grin. “Pass me the pruners.”
Jason looked around and said “I have no idea where any of your weird torture devices are…It’s been a minute since our weekend…”
I looked down and took a deep sigh. “If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.”
I walked over to the cabinet that I keep all my tools in and grabbed the garden pruners that were hanging there. I walked back over to the captured commander and queef himself. I unzipped his pants and pulled them down to expose his millimeter peter.
Stoney’s eyes grew wide as I placed the pruners around his small appendage.
“Alright Stony, I’m gonna imagine that your dick means a lot to you because you seem to act like you have a large one but the evidence I’m seeing before me suggests otherwise. Why else would you swing your dick around on Medium?”
“I’m feeling generous today and I can tell you finally understand the situation you are in. I’m gonna remove the gag ball and if you scream this fucker is coming right off. You are gonna calmly give The Godfather the answers he seeks. Capiche?”
Stony nodded. I removed the gag ball that Jason and I used in our weekend in… not important… and he took some deep breaths while silently crying. Garden pruners wrapped around your dick tend to make you shut the fuck up but we needed him to talk so I eased up on the pressure.
“Alright Jason, start asking questions and I’ll keep the pressure on his little general.”
“I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU FUCKERS ARE! YOU AREN’T EVEN ON MY RADAR! PLEASE I’LL TELL YOU ANYTHING JUST LEAVE MY LITTLE GENERAL ALONE! *sobs* IT’S THE ONLY WAY I MEASURE MY WORTH ON MEDIUM!” shouted Stony.
I put a little pressure on the pruners. You could see he got the message instantly.
“I told you, Stony, no sudden outbursts or I may just give a little too much pressure… My hands are a little shaky from all the coffee I drink while I write… I might just slip…” I said as I added a little more pressure.
His eyes started to grow even wider. “Okay, okay, whatever you want. I’ll spill all the beans…”
“Tell us, Stoney, what’s with the Medium Algorithm? Why are we earning less when we produce more content? What gives?” asked the Godfather.
Stony started to squirm as he said “I have no idea! I just write the paychecks. I don’t really run the show! I’m just the face of the operation! My team does everything! I swear! I just sit around watching cartoons all day and getting off on the fact that people call me coach!”
Just having his dick in a vice, you could tell he was telling the truth.
“Give us names Stony, WE NEED NAMES!” The Godfather shouted.
“Dim Tenning, Wessica Jildfire, Hmair Uaque, and Kean Sernan.” he squealed like a pig.
“IS THAT ALL OF THEM!?” I shouted.
“No… there’s one more…”
“TELL US!” Jason shouted.
“… Donald… Trump…”
No wonder Stony was so tongue-tied. Donald Trump was controlling the Medium algorithm to fit his agenda. It took everything in me not to remove his little chub right then and there.
Jason looked at me and nodded. We both knew what had to be done, but it wasn’t time yet. We still had more questions than answers. We had to move on.
“That has to be why our blogs don’t get boosted, Father Provencio, we talk about how much we hate Trump in a lot of what we write,” I stated.
“I fuckin’ knew that orange piece of shit had to be behind this somehow…” said the Godfather. “Stoney, why are you pushing Mastodumb so hard?”
He let out a few more sobs before uttering “Trump… Trump can’t post on Twitter so he needed a new platform for his followers…”
“What about the external views thing?”
“…It’s a way to keep the other writers on the line without actually giving them any money…”
Everything started to make sense. Everything led back to Trump. Jason continued with the interrogation.
“One more question Stony, what’s with this Boosted shit? Why are you being so selective? Give me the names of the 15 pubs that you gave this power to.”
Stony looked around the room desperately trying to think of random pub names but because he doesn’t read anything on Medium he couldn’t think of any. I saw right through this and gave the cutters a little squeeze.
“OMG OMG OMG NOOOOOOOOO I’LL TELL YOU!” Stony shouted as a little bit of blood trickled off the pruners and onto the floor.
He rattled off the 15 blogs, as Jason pulled them up on his phone. He wrote them all down in his notes app and winked at me. “Got them all Rusty, you know what to do.”
With our mission completed and our information obtained, there was no more use for Stony.
“Okay Stony, you were a very good boy and answered all our questions. So I’m gonna let you go… but first… a souvenir…”
*snip*
I clamped down on the pruners with all my might and Stony let out an awful scream. The howls of pain echoed down the tunnel and could be heard for miles. Good thing I live in the middle of nowhere, where no one can hear you scream.
I grabbed his little general and saved it so I could taxidermy it and mount it on my wall with all the other deer heads I had.
I placed pressure on the wound and sutured up what was left of his bloody stump.
“That’s for working with that asshole Trump. Also, so you can’t swing your dick around on Medium anymore. Good luck getting respect with a Trump Stump.” I said as I cut him loose. I placed the gag back on and put a bag over his head.
“JESUS CHRIST, RUSTY! I DIDN’T MEAN TO CUT HIS DICK OFF!” Shouted Jason.
“Oh… we need to work on our communication skills… I thought that nod was an agreement that he needed his dick removed for even working with Trump…” I said sheepishly.
“Well… what’s done is done… we will have to discuss this in our next couples counseling session…” said Jason as he started to put on his cherry lip gloss.
“Let me dispose of this worthless piece of shit, then let’s make this sex dungeon… steamy…” I said to my secret lover.
Jason stayed behind in the sex dungeon as I led Stony to a holding cell.
“Once we are done having aggressive lovemaking, I’ll release you, Stony. Just remember… No one fucks with the Godfather of Medium. You tell anyone what you saw here, or I get one whiff of the fuzz and I won’t think twice about ending your life… Capiche?”
I saw the bag on his head nodding in understanding.
With Stony contained I made my way back to the sex dungeon to have an epic conclusion to this story. Every good story has a happy ending… See what I did there?
I wanna quickly shout out to the Discord peeps that helped me with my brainstorming for this masterpiece. Quinn's Kaleidoscope, Brooke Chang, and Radia! If you want to be part of the fun on our Discord feel free to use this link. We have a lot of fun over there and it’s a great place to get ideas, brainstorm, and support.
If you like my work consider giving me some claps or becoming a member here on Medium. Every time someone uses my referral link below, I receive a portion of your membership for the month. This helps me to continue writing for you as well as supports other writers like myself every time you read an article on Medium. You can also send me tips through Ko-Fi by clicking the tips link below or here. Thanks for reading!